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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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304 comments
Stephanie – thanks for stopping by to listen and comment. Happy that the podcast resonated with you.
In my experience I’ve found great power coming from the INFP perspective. They are very different in how they connect etc – and it’s such a great compliment to an INFJ. I think as a general rule I’d say INFPs have a little less “awareness” in life.
Not to say they aren’t aware of the people, emotions, thoughts, feelings and circumstances of others.
I mean that INFPs are checking in with how things impact THEM emotionally. INFJs seem to have a better grasp of how things are impacting others. This has been my observation.
That said – INFPs may be less talented at respecting externally constructed boundaries set by others. It’s just simply not on their radar. Their boundaries are internal based on how they feel right now.
Thanks for sharing. Be sure to hang out here and on the Facebook page. We would love to hear more as you progress in your personal development journey.
Owillie.
Wow.
What kind words and we honored to be a part of your “life shift.”
I was going to joke with you and say something about you not wanting to see our faces on video… or that we have “faces for radio” – but then the jokes just weren’t working.
Anyway – this is all big stuff for you. You sound very sharp and as your health gets better I can’t wait to see the growth you do for yourself and the change you bring to the world.
How are you thinking you want to change the world? Do you have ideas for the direction you are heading? Excited that you are now a part of the Personality Hacker community of like minds.
Thank you Federica for sharing.
I love that you are working on being more accepting of yourself.
Hope you continue to hang around the Personality Hacker community here and on Facebook so you can share more as you continue to grow into the authentic person you know you are.
I just wanted to say, listening to this podcast is going to be a turning point in my life. I’m a 19 year old INFJ female. I’ve been chronically ill for more than 6 years. Just recently I’ve started to get better and I think a big part of that was because I “decided” to get better one night. I understood and related to a lot of what you said, so thank you. Thank you for putting into words, and choosing the right words, what INFJs are experiencing. Thank you for speaking for us. It’s very relieving to have that acceptance from another type. Not only have acceptance, but for another type speak on our behalf. Keeping in mind how you talked about not being ONLY being on the receiving end. Having one (or in this case two) talk about the struggles of the INFJ and that although it may seem to be “woo-hoo”….it’s real. For quite some time I honestly thought I was crazy, as in mentally ill. I BELIEVED I was mentally ill because I felt as if I was experiencing the world in a way that others weren’t (my mother is an ENTJ…dictator Jehanne of the Edwards clan, very hard to live with). Since I’ve been recovering from illness(slow and steady) my brain has opened up more(literally has the nutrients it needs to work). Since my brain has been opening up more I’ve been able to watch my brain work at an increasingly large amount. I couldn’t find the “right” words to describe that action of watching my brain work. In fact, I’m doing as we speak. Watching my brain think and work. I’m thinking about what I’m thinking about. Since my goal for the past 6 years has been to get better (and now that I’m achieving it) I’ve felt lost. Looking for something to occupy my mind. To make me feel as if I’m worth not only being here for others, but being here for myself (something EXTREMELY DIFFICULT for me to grasp). I’ve been searching and searching, finding myself going in circles, for something to connect the dots, to connect the person I’m turning into (now that I’m not sick, and I’m coming to appreciate myself more) and the person I want to be. Not souly what I want to do with my life, but who I want to be. I feel a great desire within me to become a doctor and help people, therapist, artist, research doctor and invent a machine to fix all DNA mutations, give up a life for me and focus on others who need help(turn myself invisible).. I have more, but there are so many. I have also started to dream and contemplate how I could change the world. I see the problems with the world and have never thought of myself as the person to change it, but it makes sense for the person seeing the problems to fix it.
After hearing your podcast, and digesting everything said while I’ve been writing this comment, I’ve decided that I AM going to change the world. My heart is very large and I feel it in my very soul(woo-hoo) that I am capable and confident to be to change it. Not just in a small way, but in a large global way. Listening to this podcast gave the right words(ideas) to be able to make those connections I was looking for. On a somewhat side-note, I really enjoyed that this is a podcast and not a video. Just listening to words and not having to actually see you speak was very relaxing. It was much more effective to get what you were saying into my head without causing a distraction(the visual image of you speaking). I believe I’m a very visual person, with some above average auditory skills, so being to just listen to you speak gave me the chance to visualize what you were saying (kind of like a movie). For me, learning or taking in new knowledge or thinking of a new idea is like creating a movie in my mind that only I would understand the full meaning of. Words turn into ideas which turn into images for me. So thank you for doing this as a podcast. It made it so much easier to take in what you were saying.
Again, I just wanted say thank you for putting in the time and effort to make this. This podcast (and the other ones you’ve made) is changing the world. Sparking new ideas and perspectives. Changing people’s lives. So thank you, for changing my life :)
This was very useful and interesting, as an INFJ. I will be trying out some of these strategies. I think I’ve become pretty good at dealing with other people’s feelings and not letting everything soak in for too long, and I am also more accepting about the way I am with my intuition. Being understood “as a type” really helped ne because I still feel misunderstood on a one to one basis, but I know how I am and I feel good about it just enough to be cool with it.
What I’m terrible at and I really need to work on is creating intimacy, as you said, because I am always the counselor and I very rarely get to open up and dump my problems on other people. I’ve started texting my problems to people more recently and it’s not bad so far. I am not as good with words as I am in writing, so I feel more confident there I guess. Also if you sense a barrier or a refusal from the other end, it’s not as strong or immediate as if you were with the other person. Aka: not as heartwrenching :)
I will also try to take more chances and put myself out there, try to do some good with what I have. Thanks guys!