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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about power vs empowerment, the power couple, gender roles, and why men might fear being objectified.
In this podcast on the power couple you’ll find:
- Most men spend so much time focusing on standards of female beauty but do nothing to improve their own physical attractiveness.
- Men are used to being objectified as providers but are terrified to be objectified by their looks; that they have to look attractive to attract women.
- There is a shift in viewpoint which developed overtime that women don’t need men as a provider but a lifestyle and romantic companion instead.
- Collective unconscious in genetic memory implies that women have always been victims of exploitation. Some are even still looking for ways to prove that they are victimized by men. There is a sense of retribution in women to want men to experience their hardships.
- Mentality creates reality. We can create or influence others to become predators by insisting that they are bad. This way, we are neglecting them and stopping them from having a connection with us.
- Once the honeymoon phase in a relationship (which lasts one to two years) ends, the power struggle phase comes in and makes or breaks a relationship.
- Both genders nowadays have almost equal opportunities open for them leading us to a current position of a gender power struggle. It creates a situation where one is forced to lose so that only one can have power; there can’t be shared power.
- Power is about hierarchy structure where one is in authority and the rest are subordinates while empowerment is about personal power which can be achieved by everyone.
- What is a power couple? A Power Couple is created when two people with equal skills and talents both give space for one another to be fully empowered making them unstoppable in doing extraordinary things.
- There is currently an unprecedented level of competition wherein when one is able to provide something others can’t, it makes that person more attractive than most. In this sense, self-empowerment needs to be focused on by everyone regardless of gender.
- Attraction is not a choice. Being the best version of ourselves is the best initial attractor.
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11 comments
Hey Brianna. Thanks for your comment. Glad the podcast resonated. We don’t run into very many female ENTPs. So we are happy to have you come by and give some feedback about your experiences. The “two horses” example seems like a great metaphor for seeing relationships. I think (as a feeler) I also see it like a dance where each partner takes turns leading “the dance” over the terrain they know the best. Each partner is going to navigate areas of life better than the other. So it can be a great back and forth.
As a woman who is an ENTP, I always found it difficult to accept a “male dominance” in a relationship. My mom, being an ISFJ, always tried to groom me into a woman like her. Not to roll over and take abuse, but to fill the role of a nurturer. This was during high school. I had a boyfriend at the time who was a ESJ type. Because we hit that power struggle, my mom was trying to help.
Being free spirited and independent as I am, I really identified with Merida from Brave (the movie came out at this time, so it’s a perfect example.) The idea of the power couple is very similar to my own personal thoughts of a relationship. Partly because it fills the potholes of the old fashioned way of looking at relationships, and partly due to my tomboyish and strong willed behavior. I always thought a relationship worked better like two horses pulling a wagon than two birds flying I’m formation. In the past, I thought maybe there was something wrong with me for not wanting to accept social conventions. Especially in this aspect (of all the ones I challenge). Thank you for this podcast, it helps me articulate a thought I’ve had for a long time.
Hey, John!
If I was uncomfortable about being analyzed that would make me pretty hypocritical. ;)
I always felt fairly androgynous growing up and only started really reevaluating femininity (and what it meant to me) in my late 20’s / early 30’s. I wasn’t raised in Alaska (I only lived there between 2007-2010), but I WAS very influenced by my other brother (almost 9 years my senior). He was my first and earliest mentor, and as Freud would say, is very anally focused. He’s all about masculine dominance plays, etc. Since my temperament is far more naturally egalitarian I didn’t pick up his need to be in control. Instead my childlike mind turned it into ‘never show any weakness’. Combine that with society’s memes around women (and their genetalia) being ‘weak’ (“what are you, a pussy?” versus “grow some balls!” etc), I simply detached from feminine identity and sympathized with males more. When I realized just how royally that can fuck one up (by ‘one’ I mean ‘me’) I did a lof of personal development work around entering a more feminine place, and embracing everything that is authentically female about me. I became FAR more emotionally in touch at that time and sympathetic of other women.
What you see isn’t repressed femininity or buried emotion, it’s actually an ‘open arms’ feeling toward being a woman and grateful for it and any/all quirks of femininity. The earliest programming didn’t go away, of course, so I ended up being in a place of sympathizing strongly with both sexes and their issues and fully appreciating (and sometimes losing patience) with both.
You asked for it. :P
As far as the Zuckerberg’s being a power couple… I see both of them being very powerful as individuals. I think a Power Couple as we defined it, though, is when two powerful people work together in the same pursuit, in the same direction. Then the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, so to speak.
A
Thanks Barbara for the feedback and sharing your kind words.
Antonia,
You are comfortable with the male female differences because you are a little bit on the andric end of the andro/gynic dimension. That may even make you stifle your “feeling” in favor of “thinking” because you believe it resonates with masculine strength. (Sorry, I don’t mean to analyze you). It would be interesting to hear some self disclosure on this. You made it clear that “nurturing” a child wasn’t a major goal in life. Maybe parents of Alaskan women produce a hardier type of female ala Sarah Palin.
You obviously are a “winner” not a “whiner”. Masculinity has both a good and bad side. Being more muscular and feeling their physical strength men really get things done. The bad side of this is they tend to look at people as “things” you can just build, or push around or fix.
Women tend toward depression whereas men “act” out and are more prone to criminality and violence. These are of course dimensions that vary on a continuous scale. One thing women can do to increase their power is to actually get a good physical exercise program going. When you are physically strong you actually feel stronger. That’s one of the reasons exercise is as powerful as prescription anti-depressants and with no side effects.
One power couple that should be mentioned is Mark Zuckerberg and Dr. Priscilla Chan. Yeah. She is a working pediatrician. She works long hours during the week at HER profession in spite of their obscene wealth, and goes home to Palo Alto to be with her husband on the weekend.