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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFP personality type.
In this podcast on INFP Personality Type you’ll find:
- Why are INFPs misunderstood?
- The cognitive function is a mental process that helps you learn information or make decisions.
- The 4 letter code tells you how your brain is wired. It’s like an entrance on how you learn processes.
- Authenticity – Is a way that you (as an INFP) make your decisions which is more inclined what resonates with you the most as a person.
- INFPs understand emotions on a whole different level.
- Questions to ethics become very intriguing to INFPs. For example: “what determines an ethical or moral action?”
- Authenticity is very in touch with the subjective human experience.
- Authenticity is where we humans find conscience. Because that’s when we ask, “how do we honor people’s individuality?”
- Oftentimes, INFPs become masters of human experience in general.
- The ability to determine that something resonates is a maturity of the Authenticity process. As it matures, it understands that not everything they experience is the same as everyone.
- Do INFPs truly want to be understood?
- Nobody could be 100% understand them apart from themselves.
- INFPs feel being marginalized and dismissed way more than being misunderstood.
- INFPs seek validation.
- We want to acknowledge that they have a specific type of pain based from their personality type.
- Authenticity type should be balanced with Exploration. Exploration (the co-pilot function) is about advanced pattern recognition in the outside world – thinking behind the curtain.
- If you want more description or definition, check out our episode “Introverted Intuition VS Extraverted Intuition”.
- Your superpowers are developed when you learn to master your co-pilot.
- Art is one of the places where INFPs thrive.
- Art is a communication of feeling and INFPs simply flourish in this context. They create art that’s impactful.
- For INFPs, they tend to recall how they felt/reacted in the past.
- They have the ability to mirror emotions. They don’t need to mirror emotions in real time. For example, the can look at an art piece and mirror the emotion to themselves.
- Authenticity people tend to recall how they feel/how they imagined they would feel and then instantly replicating the emotion inside them.
- The emotional language can be transferred in long extensive periods of time.
- In order to be authentic, you need to have a mature and vast understanding of how the world works.
- Intent: The Darker aspect of Authenticity. INFPs tend to try to give a reason that’s combated with logic.
- INFPs tend to defend their intent, because they see a wide array of positive and negative intent. They understand how people can easily go and slip into bad intent.
- Healthy INFPs view everything has positive intent.
- Being able to understand that darkness is universal and part of the human experience will help you accept yourself.
- How to go about making a living as an INFP?
- Getting something done can sometimes be very challenging for INFPs.
- INFPs have the desire to make an impact and be an inspirational leader. Oftentimes, they will disregard the passion they have. Passion is extremely important.
- Authenticity people can have the tendency to marginalize people. Make sure you do what you’re passionate with. Check in with yourself what you really want.
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215 comments
First time listener – INFP, (??♀️ what can I say – it’s hard to listen).
I am eternally grateful for this podcast! Helped me realize soo much about myself. You successfully made me feel understood, AND validated, and gave me a safe space to do it in. You hit the trifecta gold mine!
You can tell that you’re living your passions with what you’re doing. ?
Can’t wait to explore some more!
#PeaceLoveAndUnderstanding
Also, the going to a restaurant analogy … bang on! :)
Well done if you look on personality of human from perspective of “cubism” or “mechanism” or, even " militarism"….all this “cubic” theory of our race only reminds me on already seen tries in history. Reminds me on horoscope, astrology, sort of occultism etc. Why? The truth is that all and each of so called “types” are actually in all and each of us! On daily basis. Don’t be mistaken, humans are much more unpredictable and illogical. But, I’m sorry, this might sound conspirative, but personality theory will be explicitly be used in social engineering. In a very future. In falsely predicting “future” criminals or anybody that might be suspicious for sake of government or any other system, like educational, health, police…. once “the science” takes over God.
I am INFP. Overall, even though a lot of this is going way over my head for where I am at in my personal journey, I definitely identified with everything you both are describing at some level or another. Thank you for this episode, I’m learning a lot :)
I just paused to leave this comment on ‘the visceral feeling of how dark the heart can go’ because you specially asked for feedback … yes, that is painfully accurate. As someone that is just learning about all of this later in life, this resonated with me a lot for some reason. I get anxious just thinking about trying to explain it, and thats probably all of the feedback you need :)
Back to the podcast now .. ❤️
Thank you for this beautiful podcast and striving to pin things down. I’ll write things down as I listen or it’ll be a mess XD
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On “misunderstood” versus “marginalised” and “dismissed”.
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I can really confirm that the problem of the form of decision making being dismissed really describes it well. At the same time, there is a very practical and literal form of misunderstanding going on, too. Due to us making a lot of destinations. So what happens is this ever repeating process of me trying very hard to carefully pick out words that describe the situation at hand. And what happens then, is that the other person, who clusters all these nuances into “one thing” does exactly that. And they have one interpretation. And they then show a strong reaction eventually. So I ask them again what they understood me say. Turns out they applied something entirely different onto a word I did not use. Words are frequently turned around in my mouth. I am striving to make distinctions to NOT be misunderstood as talking about e.g. unconditional love and NOT unhealthy obsession and co-dependency. But people tend to reflect to me sth. not just simple but also “the most negative possible take”.
It results in me very easily landing in an excluded corner. Since on top of literally misunderstanding me due to misconceptions and oversimplification, people then also shut the door and are often not ready to discuss things and readjust their first impression of that was said. Since that means they’d already have to admit they were misunderstanding me. And I understand that, so if I have a choice, I will leave them be. Since I can feel precisely when the hurdle is likely too high (and that’s subjective to change over time, ofcourse. With maturity). But that pattern painfully cuts away on our social contacts and for young INFPs it can cut away on their courage to attempt taking that very high hurdle. There’s a distinct feeling that expressing anything to the outside being a massive hurdles to take with really bad stakes (unless they show a lot of signs to be very open, very attentive and willing to go through the work to get us connected). And our low social battery basically forces us to choose our battles very very very wisely.
In short: All three words apply, frequently :/
All of that salted with me being painfully aware bow much both of us lost upon failing to clear up the misunderstanding, failed to make the communication work.
While they are often rather blissfully unaware (a part of me is honestly happy for them) while chances are high they’ll end up cutting even more ways for me, because they’re likely to spread that I’m that terrible person who has some absolutely terrible stance on a controversial, while the truth could be more opposite (-.-‘). It’s for crying out loud….. well…crying quietly, in private. X’D
But as you say, no better way to learn about the human conditions and coming up with strategies how to support individuals in living through and with these struggles and pains.
XD I literally learnt some Aikido and hell, it definitely was a big step in me understanding myself and having a way of dealing with verbal attacks or difficult incoming emotions. I love the term “emotional alchemist”.
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Under- and overestimation
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Could write a book about it. I recently said to another INFP, that we are what the world wants and idealisesand strives for the most, but is the most unwillig to accept when it comes down to the co sequences!
Example: Once someone notices I likely have a ton of strategies to sharewith them on how to uplift them, they can be all ears. Once they hear what the process entails and that I cannot do it for them for only they can empower themselves while I can occasionally lend a hand, there will be a lot of “you’re not being helpful/useful at all”.
Meanwhile when it works, you’ll be giving very little, very individually finely tuned input and ppl will not just be better. They will have learn HOW to make themselves be alright! As an introvert needing tons of hours to myself to create these shortcuts for myself and many types of individuals, I cannot afford to work as a long-term crook. I’ll be taking empowerment and help very seriously. I am fully aware of requiring the other person’s work, or I’ll have to let it go even if it brrams my heart.
Was that off topic? :’3
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On Americans
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Thank you for the insider input on it. It’s difficult to come to that conclusion as German INFP and….. you know… have the audacity to build a loose opinion on the matter. I have American friends who left America talking about these issues exactly. And ofcourse every country and culture will have their most prominent set of skills and difficulties :D
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Immersive Experience
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Yes! Authenticity gathers a lot of information on countless levels and then translates it into pattern, metaphors, scenes, stories!
There’s too much layering to “quickly” and shortly translate it. The closes you may get is by creating an Immersive experience and then discussing what different ppl took from it in order to learn about the many shards that experience tends to be made off.
We are mirrors, completing our own shards to present others with as much clear reflection space as possible. Hence, we’ll have a problem the higher the degree of the others person of unwillingness to look at themselves and the world behind them that we reflect. Our protection may end up showing in a dull mirror that shows you nothing to avoid the fist that would break the mirror or an unwanted reflection.
(I continue the podcast, next word I hear is “mirroring”! :’D)
OMG…… You just gave me a nice logical way of how to verbalise why neither distance nor time not the existence or “non-existence” matter to me! Or why full dimentional lucid dreaming with all bodily sensations is embedded in my nature. I need to experience e.g. the sensation of several types of hands and types of grasps on my skin and just by looking at a person filmed years ago, I’ll be able to reproduce what it’d most likely feel like if they grabbed my hand now and not that of their interview partner. More often than not, possible real-life fact checks (e.g. meeting the girlfriend a friend send me a video off, for introduction) will end up very accurate. Post real-life confirmation ppl live in my inner world if they hold specific places. Which feeds into not needing to meet ppl often. They’re never away. We meet after months and even if things change, they rarely feel different. Their cores stay more or less the same, even if paths and forms of expression change.
And YES I can definitely choose to feel the emotion hitting me like a solid wall but look completely unfazed by it, because I feel I’ll cease to pay attention to the other person or lose focus on them. On the other hand I’ve often been judged as “pretender” when verbalising my physical pain. Because by the time you see me wince in pain, it’s probably “stab to the gut” level. I had to actively learn to let expression of it seep through in time and let go of my need to not burden others with my conditions, in favour of giving people a chance to actually read me without having an INFP/HSP degree of tiny signs perception. (x_X) My “obvious” usual “out of the blue” in every aspect of life. (;~;) I’m trying, OK??
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On projection
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It’s so difficult. Because it takes a lot of experience to get to a mastery level where you perceive, form an open opinion, confirm with the other person, eventually get a different answer and THEN manage to confirm if that aligns, without sending yourself into the throes of doubting your perception. Because when you are a master of catching tiny signs, you get a serious problem due to you catching signs of things happening in people they do not yet see. So you need to confirm with them to know where their self-perception is, you need to have enough data on them to know if they are likely to provide you with a full feedback. And then you need to evaluate if your inner perception is stable or reappearing at least.
From there you need to be able to let several layers of perception of that person live inside yourself. You pick a middle way in handling them while staying ready to catch them if they indeed trip over what you felt MIGHT be early signs of an issue they’re LIKELY to trip over.
Yeah, I know. Let’s go have a rest in seclusion instead X’D
Also me: that time I predicted the disbanding of a band a year ahead of the official statement with my friends going “you’re seeing ghosts, girl! They JUST wnf major the other day!” . (I can think of countless examples. I regularly scare myself with it)
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On evil
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I walk deep into all corners to be able to have as many shards of the human condition as possible. I bring us all positive and negative aspects and I do run simulations in my inner words of how “evil” comes into being so that I could make a conscious decision to stop and turn around or paint that picture for another person before it’s “too late” (to turn around without having to bring up effort that no longer stands in any relation to the pace of result you’ll ne able to get). These things are no concept. I can visually see how simply that switch can flip to then undermine everything that empowers people to flip it back.
Intent is like major plot point. It’s the whole context that carries or obliterates the words and actions people show. They can say bad words and be of good intent and I’ll be most caring and patient. They can be sure they come from good intent and I will run or bite, because they’re not and their politeness will not entitle them to my acceptance of their (not so) “good intent”.
And yes part of the mastery is to know how incredibly much damage we can do with our perception and “emotional Alchemy” (oh I love that word!)
Also: Me, too. I as well see the greater picture of “all is ultimately good” while acknowledging just as much that to the subjective human part of us it is not at all. And that pain is real. Even if you remove a tooth so that the rest would have more space, you’ll still have days of pain and working around not being able to chew X’D PLUS what is like a blessing to one can easily be a curse to another, so intent is the bridge that’ll still allow us connection accross these things.
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On career
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When you’ve got a passion, you’re most likely going to be amazing regardless of if anyone will see ut or not.
When you have no passion as INFP, let’s be honest, we’re quite screwed! X’D At that point it’s OK to know that we’re still in process of meeting that point of alignment. And everything on the way IS part of learning so we’re ready when with a whole set of knowledge and and skills from completing “random” fields we’ve gone through before.
I’m one who has no aims other than to be there, because – believe it or not – it makes a difference. No matter what I tap into, my surroundings change due to my perspectives entering the frame. I’m effective everywhere even if it can mean to see that ppl are “armed” as I come in at the crumbling point of a “workplace”.
When you’re not assigned to “the one thing” and you keep wandering, then please consider that that may exactly be THE THING! You’ll bring input accross industries and you’ll manage to empower a person here or there so THEY would then be able to stand up to their calling and eventually change the world. It’s an honorable and rewarding life, even if it’s true that it tends to be almost punished socially and monetarily. And yet, aren’t we the most equipped to barely rely on either of these for happiness and comfort?!
I am currently not working due to kindly having help with a roof over my head and I’ve heard people speak of envy and courage to me the same way you’ll hear people talk of billionaires. It’s baffling, but some people thankfully understand values outside the tight frame of the monetary system. We always did. Religious institutions were built on these X’D, social institutions are!
The world is vast. The ways to live life are manifold!
Thanks a lot for giving so much input! It’s really helpful and it’s a part of collecting shards!
P.S.: I profusely apologise for a thousand typos cause as always I’m way way too busy with the content to check for the foem, too XD