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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the bully memes that control our mind and how to use frameworks to break free from our current metanarrative.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Going Clear: Church of Scientology
- When you try to leave the church, and if you mar the reputation of the church, they have an arrangement they call disconnecting.
- Disfellowshipping
- Shunning
- You don’t get to be around anybody you love any more.
- In the movie, the woman who was disconnected could no longer talk to her adult daughter.
- Antonia had a similar experience with her church.
- This shunning creates trauma.
- What happens when you leave a paradigm?
- Memes are thought-viruses.
- Ideas everybody has at the same time.
- Collective unconscious.
- Idea Virus
- It doesn’t even have to be a religion.
- Bully memes: if you don’t do what the bully tells you to do they are going to beat you up.
- Mob mentality
- Institutionalized punishment
- Nobody likes it.
- Why would there be institutionalized shunning?
- Memes want to live like anything else.
- The best way to continue living is by taking an aggressive approach.
- There are belief systems have woven into their teaching that followers need to do what they wouldn’t normally do – be a bully.
- Pittsburgh Steelers are a meme in the Pittsburgh area.
- Fans get violent against opposing teams and their fans.
- A lot of religious and political memes reject anyone who can be considered a rogue element.
- Our bodies are bullies against the diseases that invade it because it doesn’t want to die.
- It is so weird how we allow this to control how we live.
- Institutions encourage behavior that goes contrary to our character and the ancient programming that family is to be valued.
- 1950-1960s – McCarthy Era. Communist propaganda. Blacklisted Hollywood stars.
- The meme in the US at that time was anti-communism. Hollywood stars had a voice, so they had to be silenced.
- Tim Ferriss Podcast was interviewing Tara Brach
- Radical Acceptance
- Trust your wisdom.
- Sometimes a single ego can set the tone and create a bully situation.
- People who become exiled from their communities are trusting their inner wisdom.
- The contrast is those doing the exiling are not trusting their inner wisdom.
- Their inner wisdom is kicking and screaming against the bully narrative.
- We tend not to trust ourselves and place ourselves in perpetual student roles to avoid having to make a stand.
- Align yourself with your inner wisdom. Not everyone else’s.
- Our fundamental biology says don’t go against the tribe because banishment means death.
- But that is no longer the case.
- Once you get to the other side, you realize the truth.
- Err on the side of trusting yourself.
- The bully meme is a significant node in the system, but there are other components in the shunning system.
- Graves Model podcast
- The Graves model is a progression of developmental worldviews.
- Graves level 4: Blue – the worldview in which you identify yourself with a broader community.
- Your identity is indistinguishable from the community/institution.
- You are part of a collective.
- 4 is the first time you exit a family unit and your self-interest and start to see civilization as a top priority.
- When people are ready to graduate from 4 and go into Graves Level 5, they start to lead 4s.
- From working in the bank to being the bank president.
- To 5s, the institution is their bread and butter.
- When people graduate from 5 to 6, their worldview broadens.
- The further along we get on the Graves Model the less we hand power over to these memes.
- Those shunning you are probably Graves 4 or 5, and they have aligned themselves with an institution that just wants to live, and this is its strategy for living.
- They think they will teach you a lesson if they push you out of the tribe.
- Most institutions allow for some reconciliation.
- So they tell themselves they are doing the shunning out of love.
- And to protect the meme.
- You aren’t evil, wrong, or horrible just because you have been booted from your tribe.
- We love stories. We create narratives all the time.
- These memes create stories for us, and we align our internal narratives with the bigger narrative.
- Our narratives then plug into a metanarrative that was over everything else.
- All of our narratives align with that metanarrative.
- There is no overarching metanarrative.
- We are in control of the memes that run in our minds.
- Narratives aren’t hierarchical. They are horizontal.
- Pick a narrative off a shelf.
- When we see new narratives emerging it is hard to awaken to the idea that we have chosen the story in which we live.
- It all seems so real.
- The stakes are high with narratives.
- Reality distortion tunnels.
- Not sharing each other’s narratives is why we kill each other.
- Narratives are powerful and dangerous.
- How much of us are we going to hand over to them?
- Ten years ago, this would have all sounded like complete bullshit.
- If you think your beliefs are so self-evident why does every meme have to have training, or on-ramp, for it?
- Why do we have to reinforce each meme on a continual basis to maintain the programming?
- Look at the fact that everything is trained into you?
- Doesn’t that mean it can also be untrained?
- The resistance comes up because we feel grafted to our belief systems, whatever they may be.
- The point of the PH podcast: All roads lead to empowerment and permission.
- Make sure that every decision you’re making is thoughtful, mindful and comes from a place of empowerment and self-permission.
- Most of us aren’t at a place of empowerment.
- We don’t mean to be subversive. We want to be empowering.
- Models and frameworks are extremely powerful to help you inject more plasticity into your frameworks.
- All models are narratives.
- Each word we speak is a narrative.
- Don’t cling too tightly to your narratives.
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11 comments
Thank you for the podcast— it’s given me a glimpse of what emotional freedom looks like.
I’m not convinced that abusive behavior always has benevolent motives, but I do think everyone is trying to get through the day.
To my mind (and I grant that my nerves are pretty raw on the subject), the idea of feeling free to chose between memes/reality tunnels felt good, and then the “we want you to be your best self” still sounded like “you aren’t good enough, we’ll supply the motivation”. As I said, though, I’ve got a serious hot button about feeling like I’m being taken charge of. I don’t have the foggiest whether this is something it’s important for you to be more careful about. You’re already more careful about it than most people.
You might be interested in Marlene Winell’s work— she’s a therapist who specializes in the emotional effects of authoritarian religions. She grew up in a denomination which was emphatic about hell and the rapture, and this can cause PTSD, or something very like it.