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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about how to manage energy based on your personality type.
In this podcast you’ll find:
Time management isn’t always about managing time. It’s about managing energy.
The management of energy is key to understanding everything else we do. Energy is very important for us as people.
The world is plagued by stress and burnout.
This requires us to manage the information we take in, who we communicate with, and the way we manage priorities and to-do lists.
Time/energy management is not a one-size-fits-all approach.
What works for one person may not work for another.
Begin by making sure the energy in the food we take in is high quality and nutritious.
Make sure to get enough rest and R&R.
How does each type manage energy?
8 Cognitive Functions in MBTI system.
4 are perceiving processes – how we learn info. What we find interesting to observe and explore.
4 are judging functions – decision making. Natural vetting process to determine the value of things.
4 Cognitive Functions are particularly influential to each type. These we call the Cognitive Function Stack.
2 will be our biggest strengths – 2 will be our biggest weaknesses.
Each Cognitive Function has a mirror opposite. If you are using one function, its direct opposite will be getting ignored.
We spend 10,000+ hours working on our strengths.
Driver is dominant cognitive function. Flow State. How we see ourselves.
Copilot rounds us out and keeps us balanced. If Driver is an introverted perceiving process, the Copilot will be an extraverted judging process.
Copilot isn’t a flow state. It is a conscious process that doesn’t feel as good to use as the Driver. It is a growth process because it will round us out as individuals.
There are 2 passengers behind Driver and Copilot. Exact opposites of Driver and Copilot.
Behind Copilot is the 10 year old process. This is where we go to in times of defensiveness. It can become a very insidious energy drain.
Behind Driver is 3 year old process. This is the least sophisticated part of you. Don’t let it run the house, just get its occasional needs met.
Driver gives us energy when we are using it. This makes our energy needs unique to type.
Copilot has some skill. It can give us energy, but it can also rob us of energy.
Driver/Copilot used in tandem can create flow and huge amounts of energy.
Focusing on Copilot and singling it out as a growth exercise can cause fatigue. Like building muscle.
Stress can be caused by over engagement. Constantly burning hot. Inefficient energy loss.
Burnout is a lack of engagement. You’re done. Nothing left to give.
Stress comes when Driver is trying to solve the problem and it doesn’t have the right tool for the job.
Burnout happens when we don’t feel we are allowed to use our driver. If we are in a context where we can’t be in our Driver we won’t be able to regenerate our batteries. So we will eventually burnout.
(Stress and burnout can have causes unrelated to type (diet, nutrition, temporary life challenges, etc. If there are no obvious reasons for stress/burnout in life, then it is time to look at your Cognitive Functions and find out what is missing.)
Driver/Copilot form an unstoppable team.
If every day is a bad day then you may not be exercising your dominant process enough.
Create an environment that honors your Driver. Like the little daisy that pushes through concrete, our flow state will force its way to the surface.
- INFJ & INTJ: Driver is Ni – the opposite of Se. Ni works the best when it is not gettting sensory input. INxJs often complain of lifelong insomnia. If they aren’t honoring the needs of their Driver during the day, it will wait until they are quietly in bed before firing up and getting the attention it needs. This puts the person in flow and gives them energy which makes it hard for them to sleep. INxJs should allow themselves some sensory deprivation earlier in the day so their minds can relax when it’s time for bed.
Driver always needs to be supported.
- ESFP leads with Sensation. This process requires sensory stimulation. A job that removes sensory stimulation (desk jockey, cubicle rat, etc) will cause depression and fatigue to an ESFP. Solutions: Ride a bike to work, Play basketball with some friends at lunch, engage with the community in some team sports, go to the gym.
Strengthening the Copilot and gaining ability to use it in conjunction with the Driver give the Driver the adult companionship it needs.
Oftentimes, we find it more comfortable to pair our Driver with our 10 yr old. Driver will have either a Extraverted/Introverted attitude. Copilot rounds us out by having opposite I/E. 10 year old is opposite of Copilot, so it goes back to being of the same attitude as the Driver. So, it is easier to use at times than the Copilot.
We can cruise along like this for awhile, but eventually a barrier will occur that a child can’t help us overcome. As stress builds the 10 year old becomes more unreliable.
Look at exercising the Copilot as going to the gym. And using 10 year old sitting on the couch as eating potato chips.
Exercise gives us energy. Not exercising and eating fatty foods robs us of energy.
When you do decide to exercise or use your Copilot it may seem really hard at first, but the muscles grow and it becomes easier.
10 yr old can hijack us if it is completely ignored or dishonored in some way. Whatever is making the 10 yr old feel icky needs to be solved or it becomes an energy drain.
- Harmony – Fe – 10 yr old can feel “dirty” or dishonored if interpersonal relationships devolve somehow. It can hijack the Driver and Copilot – all mental and emotional real estate – until a resolution is reached.
- Effectiveness – Te – 10 yr old can feel dishonored if projects don’t get completed.
If there is something you need to handle and you aren’t handling it a lot of psychological energy will be drained.
- INTJs lead with Perspectives – Ni. Their Copilot is Te. 10 yr old is Authenticity – Fi. Fi is about how things impact the user on an emotional level. The average INTJ has a lot of protective mechanisms here, but if you dig down you may find a lot of offense or injury. To clean out Fi and get back into a fully functioning Te, the INTJ needs to remove the hurt pride or fear of injury. Energy can be drained by old pain.
- INxJs perfectionism usually comes down to a dishonored 10 yr old. INTJs Fi can be about artistic expressiveness, so to an INTJ it can show itself as “I’m the only one who can do it right!” INFJs 10 yr old is Accuracy – Ti. Precision. Perfectionism can be a massive energy hog.
Last process in car model is 3 yr old.
Top performers always need rest and the 3 yr old allows our Driver some time off.
We don’t want to live in the 3 yr old because it causes burnout.
But we can use it strategically and it gives our driver a much needed break.
Schedule time to be in 3 yr old.
- For a Memory (Si) inferior – watch old movies, listen to music from the past, read a favorite novel, look at old photographs, etc.
We can manage our energy by fully comprehending how our Cognitive Function Stack interacts and either robs or replaces energy.
Resources Referenced in this Podcast
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26 comments
This episode was HUGE for me. It gave me so much insight into how I have been managing my own energy since learning more about my personality type, as well as some major reassurance about something I’ve been avoiding dealing with. THANK YOU.
So, I am an ISFJ who is very aware of how quickly I can become drained when I am using my co-pilot (harmony/Fe). Even though I know of your advice to develop my co-pilot, I’ve been finding myself avoiding using it lately, because I just feel burnt out on meeting everyone else’s needs all the time. I’ve been avoiding looking for jobs that have too much of a “people” component, even if they might be more satisfying overall, because I’m so content in my office job with little interaction where I rely on my driver (memory) and 10-year old (accuracy) day in and day out. I’ve also been completely terrified at the idea of trying to become a parent in the next few years, because I have been worried that I just do not have the energy to meet a child’s needs.
HOWEVER, this episode helped to remind me that when my driver (memory) and my co-pilot (harmony) are working together, it’s actually NOT draining! When I am meeting customer and colleagues’ needs in my current job and relying on my experience and expertise in my field to do so (memory), I’m actually kind of in flow. And when I am helping to meet the needs of close family members and close friends, whose needs I am familiar with and understand deeply, it’s not nearly as draining as trying to meet the needs of strangers or people with whom I have not spent time. I have always found children rather draining, but the more I get to know a child, the less intimidating (and draining) it is to figure out what he or she wants and needs and how to achieve good results. So, it’s likely that the depth of the intimate experience I would have with my own child would be intense enough that I wouldn’t be exercising harmony alone in caring for my child, but MEMORY as well — which I feel so much more equipped to handle!
I realize there is a lot more to think about when it comes to something as serious as becoming a parent, but you have no idea how much this breakthrough has eased my overwhelming fear of it! I feel like I can think about it much more rationally now and understand that it may not wreck me in terms of energy management as much as I might have feared.
Your muscle-exercising analogy was just brilliant. I’m definitely going to give this podcast another listen, and I’d love to hear even more about this topic. I mentioned this above — but maybe an examination of how each process functions when its in the driver, co-pilot, 10-year old, and 3-year old positions, and how people who have a process in a particular position might exercise or rest it alone or in combination with other functions.
Phenomenal! I was engaged throughout the discussion as each quadrant of the “car model” was viewed through another lens. As others have said, the new understanding results in cognitive dissonance as we seek to integrate the new information into how we see and understand ourselves. I need to review this again before I articulate where I am unable to reconcile the differences.
I have this same question about all of the functions! I loved the practical examples given in this podcast for some of the cognitive functions, but I wanted more. Maybe future podcasts on each function with examples for each?
This was a really good episode and it makes me want to look more into my cognitive functions and how they work. I am considering getting the genius assessment (I think that’s what it’s called) for my type, ISFJ. Does this assessment go in-depth into the car model and give practical tips for how to develop the co-pilot and “manage” the 10-year-old, etc for each specific type?
Thank you Joel and Antonia, This episode really helped to open my eyes. Being an ENTJ, after hearing this podcast really showed me I use my Extroverted Sensing way too much. I would often feel like I have to keep going and taking in more to keep up with the world. But Introverted Intuition is powerful for me. I recall using it as a teenager a lot and being able to complete and do tasks that others were amazed by. I will try and take this part of me more seriously, but in this world…. It won’t be too long.
This has really helped my growth in life. Love your podcast and listen to it often. Keep up the great work you too!