Podcast - Episode 0217 - Discrediting Feedback Does You No Favors

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• Logical Fallacy – Tu Quoque “You Also”
• Appeal to hypocrisy
• Discrediting someone’s argument by insisting they have never acted consistently on the matter.
• It doesn’t matter what their behavior is. If what someone says is true, it is true.
• Boundary setting is the framework.
• “You aren’t perfect, so who are you to tell me what to do?”
• Introverted Thinking: What is true? It doesn’t matter what anyone has done before now.
• This kind of thinking prevents you from ever growing, improving, or seeing your faults.
• Nobody has a perfect record.
• Group codependency.
• “Codependency can be distilled down to ‘I won’t call you on your shit if you don’t call me on mine.’”
• If I say a particular behavior is bad, it doesn’t matter if I’m a bloody hypocrite. It’s still bad behavior.
• You can say, “You’re right. It is bad behavior. I have seen you do it, too. Let’s work together to keep this from happening.”
• Can you get to a place in a relationship where someone can call you on bad behavior, and you can hold it?
• No matter how much we dislike a piece of info, we can’t shoot the messenger.
• The universe gives us gifts when they point out our misbehavior.
• It helps us become better versions of ourselves.
• “I do better in fantasy. Thank you very much.”
• Choosing rightness over happiness. You get what you want but at the cost of ultimate satisfaction.
• Short-term gain for long-term loss.
• If your behavior is hurting the outside world, it is because it has already done its damage inside of you.
• You are just spreading the damage around at this point.
• Let the info be the catalyst to work on that inner stuff.
• If you are unwilling to listen to negative feedback, then you will rarely receive any positive feedback from the universe.
• Ironclad defense strategy
• How can you be receptive to outer world feedback?
• Instead of seeing everyone else’s behavior as an agenda intended to destroy you, is there some truth in their observation that can help you grow?
• What truth can I find in this?
• The ego hits can be tough.
• If you are at a place where you can’t receive feedback, you have probably created all sorts of barriers and boundaries to feedback.
• Start to look at feedback as a message from the universe. Disregard the delivery system.
• That is someone’s experience with me.
• How can I show up in a way that is more consistent with how I see myself?
• Don’t shoot the messenger. Do some detective work to find the gold.
• They see you a certain way. Why is that?
• Feedback that makes you squirm podcast.
• Take the feedback.
• Some people’s path of growth is not absorbing every piece of criticism and internalizing it.
• Some of us have a fundamental belief that we are flawed, broken, sinful, and wicked.
• The default setting is sin and hellfire.
• Very toxic environment to be born into.
• No matter how much abuse was heaped on top of you, it is your job to take it.
• For someone with that kind of programming, then accepting every piece of criticism may be the exact opposite of what they should do.
• If you are in a toxic environment that is heaping criticism on you, the message from the universe may be, “How much of this shit are you going to take before you get out?”
• If you are the defensive type, the messages you are getting may be more content focused.
• Or it may be, “Hey. Let some barriers down. Let in some feedback!”
• For people who are wired to take things to heart, you have the right to have some pride and set some boundaries.
• A willingness to listen to everything and take it can also be prideful.
• House of Cards: Frank Underwood visits his hometown and says that their humility is their pride.
• The picture of health is somebody who has healthy boundaries.
• Let people in until it becomes dangerous.
• Some people Tu Quoque themselves, “I’m not perfect enough to give anyone else criticism.”
• Last weeks podcast
• Can no one make a mistake anymore in the world?
• In-fighting takes down such movements.
• Some social justice warriors give the whole a bad name.
• Perfection fidelity.
• The results are better than some of the processes.

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