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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the difference between pseudo personal growth vs real personal growth in your life.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • How do you know you are the real deal when it comes to personal growth?
  • How do you know we are the real deal when it comes to personal growth?
  • It is hard to know when someone else is authentically on a personal growth path vs. a pseudo growth path.
  • The only way to know is by determining what rings true.
  • Pseudo-development
  • How do you know you are doing the work?
  • “True learning = behavior change.”
  • Has your behavior changed?
  • A lot of us do work in one area of our life, but it doesn’t necessarily translate to other areas of our life.
  • It feels great to get good feedback from the world.
  • It can be an ego hit when negative feedback reaches us.
  • It would be easy for us to say the right things and show up as personal growth gurus without actually doing the work.
  • We have struggles, but we endeavor to show up as authentically as possible.
  • There is a tension point between overvaluing all feedback and ignoring all feedback.
  • The world is experiencing you in a specific way.
  • What is happening for this person?
  • What is the emotional interchange?
  • Every human being has a moment of self-reflection.
  • In that moment, do you choose to become a better version of yourself?
  • At the end of the day, we may have the best intent, but our actions may still bring harm.
  • Let go of the endgame.
  • If you legitimately want to be the best version of yourself, all you can do is show up in your best way.
  • The results you want may not be possible in the outside world.
  • Are you contributing to your happiness and those around you?
  • Feedback is our ‘You Are Here’ dot.
  • It gives you some metrics to calibrate by, but it isn’t the entire story.
  • You can’t use your inner fire as your total calibration because it is going to be off.
  • We are good at both overvaluing and undervaluing ourselves.
  • Public platforms bring you a lot of feedback and calibration.
  • Happiness is a general situation of being able to find joy, if temporary.
  • The calibration may be that you aren’t as far along as you thought, or that you are further than you expected.
  • Personal development can be work, but it brings rewards.
  • It is not always possible to show up as the best version of ourselves.
  • Sometimes we say the right thing in a pseudo-growth kind of way when we aren’t in the best place.
  • Only the individual can diagnose if they are growing legitimately.
  • Intuitive Awakening Facebook group
  • Sometimes world feedback can’t be an accurate calibrator because we can get good at shining it on.
  • What does your inner wisdom say?
  • Are you shining it on?
  • Or are being authentic?
  • Create the map that shows you where you are at in your personal growth.
  • Not all growth looks the same.
  • Personal growth isn’t always holistic, but it can bleed out into other areas of your life over time.
  • There is an expectation that someone who is into personal growth should show up consistently across the board.
  • Rarely is that the case.
  • We have access points of where we started our growth journey, and we may be pretty adept at that area, but it doesn’t mean we are adept at every area of growth and development.
  • We tend to follow people who are just a little ahead of us.
  • If you are interested in growth and development and you have good intent you are qualified to talk about it.
  • Your audience will find you.
  • Some people talk about their personal growth because it keeps them honest and committed.
  • If you are listening to people who have good things to tell you and you benefit from what they say, then continue to listen.
  • If someone doesn’t vibrate with you, then find someone who does.
  • Not everyone is going to be a good fit for you.
  • Just because you don’t vibe well with someone doesn’t mean someone else won’t find their voice compatible.
  • Some people are dialed into different access points.
  • Be honest with yourself.
  • Imposter Syndrome Podcast
  • When you get to the inner voice of quiet truth, there isn’t a lot of fanfare or even emotion.
  • Just a sense of peace.
  • “That’s where I’m at.”
  • That inner voice tells you exactly where you are.
  • That inner voice is the one who draws your personal growth map.
  • The inner voice is outside the cacophony of ego and inner critic.
  • At the end of the day, we want our lives to have mattered.
  • We need to prove to ourselves that we matter.
  • “You have to try. Even if it explodes in your face.”
  • The meaning becomes the trying.
  • If it is just about results, then you may bow out when it becomes apparent that the ROI isn’t going to be there.
  • But if you are doing it because you can’t imagine not doing it, then that becomes the guiding star.
  • Better to try even when the results aren’t ideal.
  • You are the only one who knows if you are doing the work.
  • All the work you do may look like it has been for nothing, but has it?
  • You are still learning valuable lessons by sticking with something until the end. No matter what that end may be.
  • The more you are on the right track, the more vulnerable you are to getting off on the wrong track.
  • The more you try to calibrate yourself the easier it is to become uncalibrated.
  • The more you grow, the harder it gets to stay on the growth path because it is all generated by you.

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the difference between pseudo personal growth vs real personal growth in your life. #podcast #personalgrowth

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16 comments

  • Yohan
    • Yohan
    • April 12, 2018 at 2:26 am

    Absolute gold… but now that I said it, I hope it doesn’t twist back and sting me (laughs)

  • Antonia Dodge
    • Antonia Dodge
    • April 11, 2018 at 2:51 pm

    You’re right! That was many years ago and I no longer identify myself as a 6. The level I currently identify myself at I’ve not shared, and I’ve made a decision not to share it, so I was surprised when the review said the person “could not bear to keep listening after the Graves Model podcast…and how high up they think they are on it.” I was trying to figure out when we made a big deal out of our ascended level. But a quick “I would place myself here…” wasn’t what I thought that would be. :P

    This is clearly what they must have been referencing. Thank you!

    A

  • Beckham
    • Beckham
    • April 11, 2018 at 6:40 am

    Very interesting Podcast. In general I really appreciate the PH content. Thanks for keeping me on my toes. You all have definitely helped to add fuel to my own personal growth, especially around the work of ego transcendence. That being said, something did pop out at me during this podcast and my Ti accuracy is having a hard time letting it go. Antonia, you mentioned receiving a negative review about one of your Graves Model podcasts. More specifically the person giving you feedback didn’t like you discussing what level you believed you were in. I don’t agree with them and have nothing invested here but you mentioned that you have never stated your Graves Model level during a podcast because you made a conscience decision not to. I believe you when you say that you made that conscience decision not to share and yet I too remembered a podcast in which you discussed this. Please refer to episode 0022 around the 57 minute mark. Please don’t interpret this as a criticism. Just a little fact checking ;-)

  • Kate
    • Kate
    • April 10, 2018 at 7:19 pm

    You shouldn’t place on yourselves the impossible burden of being all things to all listeners, especially to first-time listeners who are sorting through their first impressions. Automatic first impressions are so often tied to unconsciously-biased expectations that need challenging. For example, when I first began listening, it initially bothered me that Antonia did most of the talking, but that was only because I wondered if Joel wanted to talk more and wasn’t being given the opportunity. When it emerged after listening to multiple podcasts that that clearly wasn’t what was going on, it immediately stopped bothering me. Your dynamic (and substantive content) is amazing and should be what you two need it to be, not what anyone else needs it to be. I think that you two successfully communicate good intent, and I never pick up on a sense of sneaky internalized pretense (and you tell me that as an INFP I’m good at picking up on intent :) ).

    The idea of briefly using a “pseudo” growth appearance to get through a time of being tired/busy makes me think of the second loop strategy you covered in the last two podcasts. I wonder if there is ever a time when using the second loop strategy could be helpful to the “healing” stage in the HAT model. I definitely identified with the INFP “comfort-seeking” loop as a temptation that’s unhealthy to get stuck in, but can also remember periods when retreating/comfort-indulging served to create space in which to get perspective on and heal from trauma. Maybe the progress came more from using the retreat to get right with my Fi, but the space in which that happened feels similar to the loop.

  • Antonia Dodge
    • Antonia Dodge
    • April 10, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    I understand that something struck you and you felt the urge to immediately respond, but recommending you listen to the rest of the podcast is my reply.

    A single soundbite is never the entire story.

    A

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