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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how to manage your energy levels when doing intense identity level personal transformation work.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Personal growth is about metamorphosis and transition.
  • Metamorphosis takes a lot of time and energy.
  • Betsy Garmon Journaling Technique
  • Personal Development can look so designer, but it is hard work.
  • Identity level growth burns way more energy than standard everyday growth.
  • Some deeper growth may pull you away from your life for a time.
  • Identity level growth challenges who you are.
  • Once the caterpillar enters the cocoon and starts changing, it can’t stop the process.
  • You have to be willing to follow through no matter the results.
  • Rewards can be murky. Results can be painful.
  • You aren’t changing who you are. You are finding who you were.
  • You are finding the original new, not a new you.
  • The original you may have never wanted the choices your ego made.
  • It can be expensive.
  • “If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.”
  • Be honest about why you are starting a personal growth journey.
  • Practical ideas for growth work:
  • 1-Get clear on what it is you want to transform.
  • You don’t always have a clear picture of what the other side is going to look like.
  • Don’t get too specific about the results.
  • Questions are more important than answers.
  • 2-Set expectations and boundaries for yourself or others that may be impacted by the work.
  • Don’t be too specific about what you won’t be doing. You have no idea how things will turn out.
  • Give yourself enough space to explore what needs to be explored.
  • 3-Timelines: schedule regular time to do transformational work.
  • Be proactive. Schedule a retreat or seminar.
  • Get a friend to hold you accountable.
  • First schedule your R&R. Increase the quality of your rest.
  • High-quality alone time.
  • Take care of yourself physically with enough rest and nutritious food.
  • Create a touchpoint to record your personal growth experience.
  • Journal
  • Ask people you trust for feedback.
  • There needs to be an integration process.
  • A rest period to allow your identity to recover.
  • Ask yourself: “What does this mean?”

 In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how to manage your energy levels when doing intense identity level personal transformation work. #podcast #personalgrowth #metamorphosis

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  • Jane
    • Jane
    • May 25, 2022 at 3:14 am

    Nice comment with helpful tips. I think I made the comment about hydration and now I just feel like it was unwarranted. Stay hydrated Personality Hacker!

  • Avlis
    • Avlis
    • November 8, 2018 at 9:04 pm

    Thank you! This podcast helps me a lot in accepting my own limits! I did a lot of transformative / inner healing work this summer – and I tried to do too much in a very short period of time. After this intense work there was an outer world conflict that ended up in misunderstanding and people feeling hurt. In fact it wasn’t dramatic from a neutral point of view, but for me it was disastrous. I’ve been working with one of my inner critics to heal the inner child he’s protecting (and hurting). I just went my first steps to build a trustful relationship with him. After this outer world fight he came down on me with all force he could muster – and my traditional defenses against him where all down.
    Now I understand, that I do better when I choose the time to work on such vulnerable aspects wisely and that I need to take it more slowly and give myself time to adapt to inner changes.

    A few words to Non violent communication:
    In fact it’s no skill to learn – it’s transformative personality work, too.
    It’s not about talking in a special “non-violent” way, that wouldn’t do the job for you. Most people notice when you talk friendly but scorn them internally.
    Really it’s about changing your attitude. You learn to differ needs from – sometimes harmful – strategies to fulfill them. So you set boundaries against harmful strategies but stay sympathetic for the needs behind the strategies all the while. And you begin with being gracious to yourself. You learn, that there are no mistakes, just “things we wouldn’t have done had we known then what we know now”. In my own growth work I combine Non violent conversation with MBTI and Inner child work (Internal Family System).

    - Avlis, INFJ

  • Kaley
    • Kaley
    • May 5, 2018 at 8:21 am

    I love this episode – I think Antonia should be tired more often… the metaphors and abstractions were amazing and actually quite clear:)

    Thank you both for all you do!

  • Lisa
    • Lisa
    • May 3, 2018 at 2:26 pm

    Antonia, I have been doing intense, almost non-stop personal growth work for over ten years due to a number of traumas that have occurred during this time. I completely resonate with your tiredness, but you give me hope that I’m not doomed to be tired for the rest of my life. I do sense that I’m on the verge of a major breakthrough within the next year, and with that hopefully a renewed and sustainable energy level. Some of my identity level questions are “Why am I always so tired?” and “Why is my tiredness and my desire to connect with others always at odds?” I feel like my identity in its current form is “too tired to follow my heart in loving and serving others”. I’m very encouraged after listening to this podcast.

  • Max
    • Max
    • April 28, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    Hello there! Discovered your podcast very recently and loved it! I want to urge you to make an episode on resistant spouses. Two years ago, I ended an 8-yearlong relationship and a 3-yearlong marriage as I couldn’t get my ex-partner on board in my journey of personal transformation. Would love to hear anything related to it. Best wishes!

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