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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how to manage your energy levels when doing intense identity level personal transformation work.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Personal growth is about metamorphosis and transition.
- Metamorphosis takes a lot of time and energy.
- Betsy Garmon Journaling Technique
- Personal Development can look so designer, but it is hard work.
- Identity level growth burns way more energy than standard everyday growth.
- Some deeper growth may pull you away from your life for a time.
- Identity level growth challenges who you are.
- Once the caterpillar enters the cocoon and starts changing, it can’t stop the process.
- You have to be willing to follow through no matter the results.
- Rewards can be murky. Results can be painful.
- You aren’t changing who you are. You are finding who you were.
- You are finding the original new, not a new you.
- The original you may have never wanted the choices your ego made.
- It can be expensive.
- “If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.”
- Be honest about why you are starting a personal growth journey.
- Practical ideas for growth work:
- 1-Get clear on what it is you want to transform.
- You don’t always have a clear picture of what the other side is going to look like.
- Don’t get too specific about the results.
- Questions are more important than answers.
- 2-Set expectations and boundaries for yourself or others that may be impacted by the work.
- Don’t be too specific about what you won’t be doing. You have no idea how things will turn out.
- Give yourself enough space to explore what needs to be explored.
- 3-Timelines: schedule regular time to do transformational work.
- Be proactive. Schedule a retreat or seminar.
- Get a friend to hold you accountable.
- First schedule your R&R. Increase the quality of your rest.
- High-quality alone time.
- Take care of yourself physically with enough rest and nutritious food.
- Create a touchpoint to record your personal growth experience.
- Journal
- Ask people you trust for feedback.
- There needs to be an integration process.
- A rest period to allow your identity to recover.
- Ask yourself: “What does this mean?”
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12 comments
Hello, I’ve been listening for a few months now to multiple episodes and this has been one of my favorite ones yet. You actually sounded really good, Antonia, I really enjoyed the free flowand the metaphors did resonate with me.
I have not been keen on joining the online conversation because I assume that podcast-makers just encourage that to get the traffic on the website and not really care about the stories, but you two seem sincere enough on your interest and writing down my experience with energy and transformation seemed like a good exercise to gain some clarity and next steps myself.
About six years ago depression, eating disorders, and a bad break-up finally made me seek some professional help. That brought about some massive waves of transformation that involved bringing back and resolving some episodes of childhood abuse that had been buried. I was lucky enough to have a small inheritance to rely on that allowed me to not work for the months where I was too exhausted to leave bed, go on long backpacking trips on soul-searching, and go back to school on a field that I really do love.
I guess the pickle I’m in right now is that for six years my life was this phase of constant transformation flurry of insights, amazing growth and exhaustion. It was a bit subconscious that that was my pattern until I listened to this podcast. Now that my financial cushion and my master’s program is almost gone, it’s time to really put my feet in the ground and integrate the transformation into a “normal life” and that had been scaring the hell out of me lately. “What am i gonna do when I need 12 hours of sleep or get away to the mountains for four days to gain clarity?” said my fears. I knew at some level that my lifestyle was not sustainable, but it’s as if I know no other way to live other than the hell of depression and self-hatred I had before then.
“I still have a lot to learn and polish! How am I going to manage that now?” was another doubt that kept popping up, so it was great to hear that not everything has to be cleaned out in one blow, that you can schedule it out and still have a normal life through the changes.
Anyway, again, great number and I wish you two much luck on your journeys. If you get inspired to do more podcasts on the integration phase of insights and transformation, I would be most thankful.
Women Who Run With The Wolves is so…chewy and potent, for me (I’m 35), I’ve been taking it one chapter at a time for two years, and I’m only halfway through. (ntp female here) My youngest daughter is just now to the point that she can make herself a snack/sandwich and doesn’t need me every minute of the day, and I think that’s why I’ve finally been able to pick up the pace! Otherwise, I think my entire world might have fallen apart around our heads.
I’ll say, though, that every time I choose to take time out to process a bit of that, my creative work explodes, because it’s like getting a piece of my soul back. That to say, I find the returns to be so very worth it. I can’t…skill myself into being a deeper person creatively, if that makes sense. It has to be transformative, I think, at least for me. So this podcast and facet of personal development is timely and resounded.