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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the difference between pseudo personal growth vs real personal growth in your life.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • How do you know you are the real deal when it comes to personal growth?
  • How do you know we are the real deal when it comes to personal growth?
  • It is hard to know when someone else is authentically on a personal growth path vs. a pseudo growth path.
  • The only way to know is by determining what rings true.
  • Pseudo-development
  • How do you know you are doing the work?
  • “True learning = behavior change.”
  • Has your behavior changed?
  • A lot of us do work in one area of our life, but it doesn’t necessarily translate to other areas of our life.
  • It feels great to get good feedback from the world.
  • It can be an ego hit when negative feedback reaches us.
  • It would be easy for us to say the right things and show up as personal growth gurus without actually doing the work.
  • We have struggles, but we endeavor to show up as authentically as possible.
  • There is a tension point between overvaluing all feedback and ignoring all feedback.
  • The world is experiencing you in a specific way.
  • What is happening for this person?
  • What is the emotional interchange?
  • Every human being has a moment of self-reflection.
  • In that moment, do you choose to become a better version of yourself?
  • At the end of the day, we may have the best intent, but our actions may still bring harm.
  • Let go of the endgame.
  • If you legitimately want to be the best version of yourself, all you can do is show up in your best way.
  • The results you want may not be possible in the outside world.
  • Are you contributing to your happiness and those around you?
  • Feedback is our ‘You Are Here’ dot.
  • It gives you some metrics to calibrate by, but it isn’t the entire story.
  • You can’t use your inner fire as your total calibration because it is going to be off.
  • We are good at both overvaluing and undervaluing ourselves.
  • Public platforms bring you a lot of feedback and calibration.
  • Happiness is a general situation of being able to find joy, if temporary.
  • The calibration may be that you aren’t as far along as you thought, or that you are further than you expected.
  • Personal development can be work, but it brings rewards.
  • It is not always possible to show up as the best version of ourselves.
  • Sometimes we say the right thing in a pseudo-growth kind of way when we aren’t in the best place.
  • Only the individual can diagnose if they are growing legitimately.
  • Intuitive Awakening Facebook group
  • Sometimes world feedback can’t be an accurate calibrator because we can get good at shining it on.
  • What does your inner wisdom say?
  • Are you shining it on?
  • Or are being authentic?
  • Create the map that shows you where you are at in your personal growth.
  • Not all growth looks the same.
  • Personal growth isn’t always holistic, but it can bleed out into other areas of your life over time.
  • There is an expectation that someone who is into personal growth should show up consistently across the board.
  • Rarely is that the case.
  • We have access points of where we started our growth journey, and we may be pretty adept at that area, but it doesn’t mean we are adept at every area of growth and development.
  • We tend to follow people who are just a little ahead of us.
  • If you are interested in growth and development and you have good intent you are qualified to talk about it.
  • Your audience will find you.
  • Some people talk about their personal growth because it keeps them honest and committed.
  • If you are listening to people who have good things to tell you and you benefit from what they say, then continue to listen.
  • If someone doesn’t vibrate with you, then find someone who does.
  • Not everyone is going to be a good fit for you.
  • Just because you don’t vibe well with someone doesn’t mean someone else won’t find their voice compatible.
  • Some people are dialed into different access points.
  • Be honest with yourself.
  • Imposter Syndrome Podcast
  • When you get to the inner voice of quiet truth, there isn’t a lot of fanfare or even emotion.
  • Just a sense of peace.
  • “That’s where I’m at.”
  • That inner voice tells you exactly where you are.
  • That inner voice is the one who draws your personal growth map.
  • The inner voice is outside the cacophony of ego and inner critic.
  • At the end of the day, we want our lives to have mattered.
  • We need to prove to ourselves that we matter.
  • “You have to try. Even if it explodes in your face.”
  • The meaning becomes the trying.
  • If it is just about results, then you may bow out when it becomes apparent that the ROI isn’t going to be there.
  • But if you are doing it because you can’t imagine not doing it, then that becomes the guiding star.
  • Better to try even when the results aren’t ideal.
  • You are the only one who knows if you are doing the work.
  • All the work you do may look like it has been for nothing, but has it?
  • You are still learning valuable lessons by sticking with something until the end. No matter what that end may be.
  • The more you are on the right track, the more vulnerable you are to getting off on the wrong track.
  • The more you try to calibrate yourself the easier it is to become uncalibrated.
  • The more you grow, the harder it gets to stay on the growth path because it is all generated by you.

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the difference between pseudo personal growth vs real personal growth in your life. #podcast #personalgrowth

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  • Bobby Young
    • Bobby Young
    • October 12, 2021 at 5:08 pm

    The paradox for me is… while my growth is always aimed to be actual, the development will always be pseudo, but I will never “have arrived” to that destination.

    The more developed I become, the more I realize how much more there is to do.

    The true pseudo-developed seem to preach as if they are already there. This draws the fine line between confidence and arrogance. While I am confident in what little I have learned, I am not arrogant enough to think there is MUCH more to learn.

  • Nicole Milani
    • Nicole Milani
    • November 3, 2020 at 4:49 am

    Okay, not to ruin the deep,introspective “telling gritty personal stories” atmosphere or anything… but seriously, I am kind of amazed that the “this is how long it will be until the sun explodes” person Joel talked about hasn’t shown up in the comments yet. ?

    Maybe they started typing out their comment, and then lost the urge to do it when they heard the rest of the podcast. ☺️ Who knows.¯\(ツ)

    But then again, I just went and googled the actual number, and it turns out that our sun isn’t big enough of a star to explode at all?, so the whole thing is kind of a moot point to begin with.? Apparently it’ll just expand into a red dwarf and swallow our planet whole in about 5-7 billion years time…?.

    ( In all seriousness though, this was a great episode of the podcast. Personally, I found it very inspiring. Keep up the good work. ?)

  • Micah Long
    • Micah Long
    • May 4, 2018 at 10:57 pm

    [no response required!]
    Hmm, okay. We may have stumbled upon an example of the Mandela effect, where many people erroneously “remember” the same thing. Also, it may just be me fabricating the memory. I will try to find that sound byte and get back to you with an episode number and time.

  • Antonia Dodge
    • Antonia Dodge
    • April 26, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    Another community member let me know that in the first Graves Model podcast I mentioned being a 6 and he’s right! I totally did (but forgot since it’s been a few years).

    That said, I’ve never claimed to be a 7, and neither has Joel. After the first podcast I don’t believe I’ve mentioned the level I suspect that I’m at (though clearly I have a spotty memory for the earlier episodes). Implications and inferences may be happening between myself and you as the audience, but even in “real life” I don’t really talk about it.

    I totally did say I was a 6 in that first podcast, tho. Totally.

    Thanks for the comment!


  • Micah Long
    • Micah Long
    • April 24, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    Hey! INTJ here, near as I can tell. Long time listener and have received a lot of value off you guys.
    I do not recall the episode in which this occurred but you (Antonia) did strongly imply that you and Joel were at level 7 or above. You spoke of how people transitioning from 6 to 7 will revisit an earlier stage where some wounding happened or which was not completely explored. You said that it was fascinating to watch Joel make that transition. I am not certain of this memory but you may have described what it was like for you to make that step yourself. Describing this experience in the past tense implies that you and he are level 7 or higher.

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