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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk with their friend Dan (a former guest on episode 38 & 196) about his current personal development work and challenging his inner narratives.

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  • Will Hatcher
    • Will Hatcher
    • February 9, 2019 at 8:24 am

    Very inspiring podcast. When you encounter an INFP with so much lived experience and wisdom to impart it’s enrapturing.

    I couldn’t help noticing the use of the term “negative talk” later in the podcast when describing narratives that can be more inhibitive to risk-taking. Would it be possible to frame that idea as “protective talk”? It may be that I am trying to make myself feel better about following those trails of consciousness but “negative” narratives suggests they are intrinsically bad.

    Would appreciate some thoughts on this.

    Many thanks

  • Michelle
    • Michelle
    • January 23, 2019 at 1:35 am

    Hey loves!! I’m new here and I just want to really express my gratitude for how much Joel and Antonia share with so many different people. Dans story is so inspiring to actually follow his personal rules even when he wasn’t in a great place. I would have definitely been like.. … nope, Not today! Lol. He tells stories like I do! Our over descriptive awkwardness is real ;) Who wouldn’t love us?? #INFP
    The fact that (if I’m not mistaken) Joel and Dan are actually friends really shows how emotionally healthy all three of you are. Antonia you are seriously the most interesting person I’ve ever heard speak! It’s like Antonia tells us how it is and Joel let’s us know it’s ok. What a beautiful complement you are to each other.

  • David Thomas Natko
    • David Thomas Natko
    • December 6, 2018 at 7:04 pm

    I’m an INFP and it was super inspiring to listen to another INFP talk about his life and the self-talk that comes up for him when dealing with adversity. Thanks Dan for sharing and also thanks to Joel and Antonia for putting out yet another powerful podcast.

    I especially resonate with the concept of how living your message and being on mission will create opportunities for you, but you have to do the hard work before the opportunities present themselves. I also really liked Dan’s rule of always saying “yes” while on the trail. It sounds like a great way to develop the Ne copilot and I’m going to have to try integrating that in my own life. I’ve picked up a lot of tips for developing Ne as an auxiliary from some of the other podcasts as well but sometimes it’s hard to find the self-discipline to put them in the action. My tendency is always to retreat to my comfort zone.

    I think I would be more motivated to do this hard work if I had someone to talk to who was going through a similar process – for example another INxP or an ENFP (since their copilot would be my driver and vice-versa). I envision a kind of “accountability partner” who I could speak MBTI terminology with and share stories, strategies, and advice around developing the copilot. The idea of finding someone like that is pretty daunting however, as I struggle meeting other intuitives, let alone people who are into MBTI. So I thought I would go out on a limb here and ask anyone who might be reading this if you would be interested. You wouldn’t necessarily have to be one of the types I listed above, as long as you want to develop your copilot and think you would also benefit from having someone you could Skype with a few times a month or so to discuss these topics. I don’t usually put myself out there like this online, but I feel like this could really help me move to the next level. So if you are interested, feel free to send me an email, tell me a little about yourself and we can go from there.


  • V
    • V
    • December 4, 2018 at 10:28 pm

    As an INFP, I loved this podcast for multiple reasons:

    -I’m fairly introverted and am inclined to keep to myself. In all honesty, when I interact with others, I’m oftentimes surprised by how not-bad of an experience it is. At work, I have noticed that I feel a little better if I get up and talk to people (even as a part of my job).
    This in turn was brought up during a discussion with an ENTJ friend about what we want from the rest of our lives. We both agreed that we somehow need to be involved with or do things for people in order to feel fulfilled (even though I’m not exactly sure how I am going to go about that).

    -I find Dan’s path totally inspiring. I definitely don’t have the outdoor skills to do something of a similar vein, but I love the idea that he finds a way to pursue his passion. Antonia mentioned that this isn’t just a ‘vacation’ – Dan has to work to earn his time off from the more conventional world. This is an example I wish I had more bravery to follow. My immediate family members are all SJs, and they instilled in me a need and consideration of ‘security’, which I still seek even though I’m well-off financially (at least more so than most people in their 20s, I think). I’ve never really been in a strong position of need, especially when it comes to money. I’m thankful that my parents were able to provide a stable lifestyle for me while growing up, but I also feel like I’ve been playing life on ‘Easy’ mode. There are certainly self-imposed challenges that I can create and overcome to keep myself occupied (I mean this in a positive way, not via self-sabotage), but I feel that these don’t compare to actually living where some certainties which I am accustomed to aren’t guaranteed.

    -Also regarding Dan’s path, it reminds me of I have found myself thinking of Into the Wild/Christopher McCandless recently and how attractive it sounds to get away (wanderlust?). Actually, even without getting that extreme, I think it would be fun to try a job that allows me to get out into the world/nature. Despite being an avid gamer in my younger days, sitting at a computer for most of the day is totally draining.

    -Thanks Antonia for the aside regarding the INFP comments on Nii’s podcast. :P I feel validated.

  • Lorelee
    • Lorelee
    • December 1, 2018 at 6:22 am

    Yes, there have been numerous messages that have come to me recently about the importance of expressing grief not just limited to the death of someone but grief over disappointments. When people rush to find a more “positive” narrative, it could be pushing down an important expression. There is this notion of “the holding” where people learn to hold the difficulty (to quote Oriah Mountain Dreamer in The Invitation,) “without trying to hide it, or fade it or fix it”. I think there can be real cruelty when someone is experiencing a difficulty, to be told, “quit acting like a victim”. Just trying to choose a positive narrative to make others feel more comfortable is not authentic and i do see that happen a lot. Human experience is too complex – one strategy does not fit every circumstance. Sometimes best to choose another narrative, sometimes best to hold ourselves in our pain.

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