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In this episode, Joel and Antonia use three frameworks (personal – relational – career) to reflect on the past year of personal growth.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • What have you learned in the past year?
  • Success in personal development often means profound failure with extraordinary learning.
  • Very few lessons come from doing things right the first time.
  • Eradicate the word “Failure” from your vocabulary. Replace it with “Calibrate.”
  • “Ever Tried. Ever Failed. No Matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better.” -Samuel Becket
  • Personal growth for the past year:
  • Personal-
    • Joel:
      • All ego work is not created equal
      • Replacing “sin” with “ego”
      • Master your ego
      • It’s not about ego death/transcendence, but the relationship you have with your ego.
      • Embrace the ego when necessary and let it go when it’s not.
      • Feedback from the outside world can be appropriate, but not always.
      • Dominance over yourself is the first step toward ego mastery
      • Handing power over to others is not dominance over self
    • Antonia:
      • Navigating through some significant wounds with her family in the past year.
      • Emotional, psychological orphan
      • Healing work can be addictive because you can do nothing and receive a pass for bad behavior.
      • If we stay stuck in healing work, it can become self-indulgent.
      • Making Peace with Your Parents Podcast 1
      • Making Peace with Your Parents Podcast 2
      • Personal growth work can be incredibly intimate and internal, and it may not make sense to others.
      • Don’t move on too quickly, and don’t spend too much time in the self-indulgent space.
      • You are the only one who knows what you need.
      • Surrender to the discomfort
      • Growth work often involves developing a good tension point between two opposites.
      • Instead of allowing the pendulum to keep swinging from extreme to extreme, figure out where the balance is.
      • Leadership is ultimately a servant’s role
      • How have you grown personally in the past year?
  • Relationally-
    • Joel:
      • “Everything rises and falls with leadership.”
      • Don’t overvalue your responsibility for other people’s experiences/actions
    • Antonia:
      • In regards to relationships in general, it is becoming more apparent how crucial energetic interchange is.
      • Everything works better when people are in each other’s presence.
      • In this world where everything is virtual, we cannot underestimate the power of personal/physical engagement.
      • We need to remember to humanize each other and stop projecting ill intent.
      • Human Design
      • When you are around other people, you help facilitate transformation in them. Good and bad.
      • We all impact one another energetically.
      • Be okay with people not liking you — not all energies vibe.
      • If everybody likes you, you probably aren’t standing for much.
      • You average out everything about you to avoid confrontation.
      • Allow yourself to step into a space that is less apologetic than you may be comfortable with.
      • The current cultural and political climate is very religious.
      • Well Trained Monkeys
  • Career-
    • Antonia:
      • Sublimating personal development in preference for social causes is an unsustainable system.
      • “Your Mess is Your Message”
      • Antonia’s mess was deprogramming from a patriarchal cult.
      • So, her message is individual empowerment in reprogramming your mind.
      • If we try to build social causes without having high-quality individuals showing up, it is a house of cards.
      • Do the individual work, then work on the social piece.
      • Pygmalion Project Podcast
      • “I love your message, but you need to change your stance on this one thing…”
      • What do you have more control of in your life? Yourself? Or society at large?
      • Societal change can’t make you feel good about yourself if you haven’t done the personal work
      • We don’t tell you what to do on this podcast, we say, “Here’s how to be a great version of yourself.”
      • The self should not be ignored on behalf of the collective.
      • The self feeds into the collective.
      • We know our intent.
    • Joel:
      • Surrender to the work
      • There is never going to be a time when you arrive at the pinnacle of growth and achievement where the work is no longer necessary.
      • Surrender = stop resisting
      • If you’re going to do something you think is important you need to surrender to the work.
      • Resistance lives in our ‘should’ statements.
  • What growth did you experience in the past year?

In this episode Joel and Antonia use three frameworks (personal - relational - career) to reflect on the past year of personal growth. #personalgrowth

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We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…


  • Jess
    • Jess
    • April 12, 2019 at 4:25 am

    Wish I could edit to fix the typos ?

  • Jess
    • Jess
    • April 12, 2019 at 4:21 am

    ENFP here. I don’t even write yelp reviews so this is out of my normal. When Joel speaks I constantly find myself nodding my head saying “exactly”. It cracks me up! I total agree that personal growth is more important. I think if more focused on personal growth than social change would come easier. Or maybe it’s not more important but the first step to social change.

    Personal change for me has been learning the importance of a pure apology. I met a friend who demonstrated it and I found it tremendously powerful. Saying I’m sorry and leaving it at two words. “Not I’m sorry but…” or “I did it because….” No. A simple, pure, genuine apology. It’s difficult to put your ego aside- but when giving an apology and accepting fault when I need to, it allows me to stand up for myself with more confidence when I need to.

  • Rhonda
    • Rhonda
    • January 10, 2019 at 10:50 pm

    As an INFJ that works in social/culture change through educational work and organizing, I find that until we’ve done the personal work, we can’t make good agreements — especially agreements or changes that foster a healthier society/culture. I usually work from self/household/neighborhood (or village)/city or region….

  • Brooke
    • Brooke
    • January 6, 2019 at 1:35 pm

    OMG I am so encouraged to hear the Robin story. As an INFJ and having studied sociology, it feels so frustrating to see injustice, and profits coming before people’s real well being, such as with big Pharma and the “food” product GMO industry … lol I sound like a conspiracy theorist. But I am just one person with no platform and who does not feel tempted to run around squeaking about the sky falling. Money is usually behind many of our pain points as a society and money, not indignation, will have to be a big part of what drives solutions. And, of course, the people holding the money, with access to resources. it won’t be violent overthrow or even televised revolution. Change will happen when the 1% become our allies. Excitng.

  • Phillip Jacobs
    • Phillip Jacobs
    • December 30, 2018 at 8:55 pm

    Sorry to see Mary leave the great British baking show but she’s back on Britain’s best home cook show for you fans. For my relationship i want to merge my energy between Ted Nugent wan go tango and cristina aguliras candy man. For work I believe in servant leadership. What can I do to help you thrive in your job? Be creative or do I need to help with your management skills. Or do I build upon relationship communication in the work place. Or do I sit down and write out my thoughts to create ideas. The mind is a beautiful thing.

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