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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about dealing with personality type envy and the feeling that other types have it easier than you.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Is it common to experience personality type envy?
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Personality type envy between Introverts and Extraverts:
- Why “energy” can be a source of envy.
- How you move through the world matters.
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What does the cost of specialization have to do with personality type envy?
- Does the other side really have it so easy?
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Personality type envy between Sensors and Intuitives:
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- Why does “presence” cause envy?
- Why do Sensors envy Intuitives’ pattern recognition?
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Personality type envy between Thinkers and Feelers:
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- How do emotions affect Thinker-Feeler envy?
- How does conflict play into this?
- Viewing information as “just information”, versus creating a “safe space”.
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- How can societal biases influence what we envy?
- What do Joel and Antonia like about being a Feeler and Thinker, respectively?
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Personality type envy between Judgers and Perceivers:
- Why the time period we live in matters.
- Listen to our podcast on the Graves Model (Spiral Dynamics) to hear more about the role institutions play in our development.
- How is your place in the group related to this dichotomy?
- How important is the meta narrative for you?
- How does the “rhythm of life” affect Judger-Perceiver envy?
- What does Joel love about being a Perceiver?
- Joel shares 3 words to help you deal with type envy.
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Listen Notes
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20 comments
That’s so funny about the solitary confinement comment, like it’s one of your greatest fears. I’m an introvert and one of my fantasies is to spend some time in a low-security prison in Sweden or some other humane-seeming country and just read all day. It can be solitary confinement or not, I will let my jailers decide. :D
Thank you for the great description of J versus P being about upholding institutions or being more flexible and individualized. I always conceive of J’s as being on time/more responsible and P’s (like me) being kind of a mess so that deepened my understanding of it. If I have any type envy, it would be for those J skills so I could get more done.
I totally catch myself saying to myself, “Oh man, if I were an ESFP, I would have so much of this shit that I’m struggling with on lock.” This was a great podcast. Thank you for making it!
I never get runner’s high either! And in my head the entire time I was running it was just a monologue of “I hate this. This doesn’t feel good. Are we done yet? Can we stop early? This is boring. We should go to the library. It’s going to close soon so you have to turn around right now if you want to go.”
I finally had to accept that I will never be the person that’s like “I just love running so much. It’s like I don’t even think, I just AM. All the stress just melts away.”
Uhhh, no. Running was a constant inner emotional drama and test of my will power.
Until I discovered I could make my N work for me by listening to really interesting content while I run. Now once I get into a rhythm I get so engrossed that I kind of just forget I’m running. I wish I could actually love it, but so far the best I can do is distract myself entirely from the fact that it’s happening.
You are probably lucky your interest, accounting, is very common. Te seems do well with money and society is all about money and jobs in accounting are everywhere so you can maintain focus. My background is more in the arts and maybe I am more abstract thinker than most so getting down to existing and being happy in concrete reality is proving difficult.
Would love to hear more specifics about Antonia’s journey in developing social acumen/charisma. I’m an INFP. I understand motivations, which leads to understanding people’s feelings in a given moment, but of course that doesn’t equate with being social. I am shy and lack charisma. It’s hard for me to make friends. It’s especially hard when I already have trouble finding others like me.
Anyways, great podcast as always.