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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the book “The Tools” and discuss the third tool: Inner Authority.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Priming exercise: recall experience of insecurity, self-consciousness (e.g. public speaking, meeting people).
- “The Tools” from Phil Stutz and Barry Michels
- Tool #3 – Inner Authority
- Higher Force: Self-Expression
- Universal experience of insecurity: being robbed of the ability to show up as yourself
- What robs you of your inner authority?
- Why we fear being judged, and how it connects to Carl Jung’s work
- Owning our shadow parts and releasing image control
- Cues that Inner Authority is the right tool:
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- Performance Anxiety – present or ahead of time
- During an event – need to reconnect with inner authority
- Exercise Description: Inner Authority
- Pre-requisite: determining what shadow looks like – sample questions to help you
- How Inner Authority relates to Cognitive Functions and Flow
- The freedom to show others all of you and why it makes you relatable
- Balancing unity and individuality – connecting with others whilst keeping our own voice
- What we can learn from rock stars
- The benefits of self-expression: on knocking down our shells, becoming relatable and building TRUE intimacy
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6 comments
Thank you for creating this series on The Tools, particularly this episode on Inner Authority. I have wanted to start a blog and become a writer for years. I’ve started multiple times but I always stop and delete my work because I am so afraid my family and friends will see it. I enjoy speaking in front of strangers and I don’t fear criticism from strangers either. It’s a paralyzing fear of disappointing or upsetting my family by voicing my true ideas and opinions.
The solution I’ve come up with is to create a pen name. It sounds counterintuitive, but creating a fake name is the only way I feel like I can show up as my true self to the world. This would free me from worrying that my family would find out what I’m up to and judge me. Even though I think this is a reasonable solution that will allow me to act on my dream, at the same time I feel like a failure because a pen name is inherently inauthentic! My personality type is either ISTJ or INTJ. Would either of those types be more likely to struggle with approval-seeking and insecurity? Thank you for your wonderful podcast, the recommendation for The Tools, and the encouragement to leave comments!
Sandi – fellow INFP here. It may be that you fall into the category of a “highly sensitive person.” Check out Elaine Aron’s website. It can explain many kinds of responses to people and situations.
I read the book “The Tools.” It was great. Thank you for recommending it and speaking more in depth about it. I will work through the chapters. This tool (inner authority) seems like the most important one I need to address. But I have questions….. I think I’m pretty in-tune with my inner-self. I’m an INFP who feels things extremely quickly, but it takes logic a while to catch up. What I have learned over the years is that it’s really best not to be vulnerable and reveal myself with most people. I have many acquaintances and few close friends. I crave deeper connections with people and don’t know how to make them.
I teach art students, and each year lead a workshop on dealing with the inner critic- I loved this podcast and will add it to the resources. It seems I might also need to give the workshop with my own little wounded thirteen year old self standing alongside me.
This one is for those times when we were in high school and had to speak I front of the class. Beet red from not giving a real human portrayal of what was doused to be done well. Having the time to complete every bit of homework was extremely challenging when involved in extracurricular activities. In the late 80s, coaches were much like military drill seargants and believed that it was best to practice 6 hours per evening. Out of the entire team, there were only a couple of other honors students which received homework to do in five to six classes per night. Thus, after burning up every Calorie during the long day in class followed by a six hour baseball practice complete with yelling and screaming when missing a ground ball and running in metal cleats more than the track team did, always made me question the notion that baseball doesn’t require long distance running. Yet, this was the negative characteristics of violating UIL rules of practice no longer than 20 hrs. per week. By the time I got home, it was already 845pm. I had to eat, and hit the books while the phone rang all night. Usually, I found myself asleep in my book by 1 am not even close to being done with the homework. This is when standing in front of the class was most demoralizing. Not knowing what to say by winging it would at least somehow afford a B. Freezing and not knowing what to do has not really occurred at all since then for me. I was fortunate enough to have taken public speaking at the University of Texas. We gave 3 or 4 speeches in the semester and made a B. To make a B at UT is pretty much like making an A at most any other University. After completing this, I had no trouble at all expressing myself. I did however, freeze during baseball games which were played at night under the lights and made an error on an easy high pop up that went above the lights and came down judged incorrectly. I froze at this moment bc we never practiced under the lights. We always practiced during the daytime. Brilliant ideas huh? So yeah, the freezing thing has been dealt with early in life, and only then. Even though am INFJ, I have no problem whatsoever speaking publically. I enjoy it greatly.