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In this episode, Joel and Antonia compare how feelers and thinkers experience feelings and talk about which type is more emotional.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Are feelers more emotional than thinkers? The online buzz surrounding this question.
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What’s the difference between experiencing emotions and using a feeling function to make decisions?
- Carl Jung’s definitions around feeling emotions in the body
- The degree of separation between feeling the emotion and making the decision for feelers.
- Thinkers – what’s the difference between thought and a thinking function?
- Is there a greater gap between our thoughts and thinking function than there is between our emotions and our feeling function?
- Joel’s experience as a feeler – does he feel more emotional than thinkers?
- Antonia’s experience with thoughts and feelings as a Accuracy (Ti) user.
- The pendulum swing – how the world has shifted from over-valuing thinking to over-valuing feeling.
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The myth that all feelings should be acted upon – why it’s important to develop a mature relationship with your feelings.
- How feeling types can be cavalier with emotional data
- Some differences between Authenticy (Fi) and Harmony (Fe)
- How emotions motivate thinkers.
- How we’re wired to be intrinsically rewarded for using our preferred functions.
- What does it look like when a feeler has well-developed emotional intelligence?
- What are emotional “triggers”?
- Looking at SpongeBob SquarePants as an example of personal agency.
- Why feelers make their best decisions based on emotional criteria – and how, ironically, they can appear less emotional when they do this.
- Some thoughts on the intellectualization of emotions.
- Why we need to process feelings of guilt and shame.
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22 comments
What Antonia says about emotions being an intolerable distraction for Thinkers when trying to make a decision is spot on. Keeping them at arm’s length is the only way. Joel is correct about society’s current over-emphasis on feeling in an irrational sense.
I’m an INTP and I’ve always been of the opinion that Feelers can be less outwardly emotional at times because they understand and trust their feelings and emotions. They are less upset or surprised by their emotional responses as many Thinkers are and live through through them peacefully, rather than reacting against them.
As a Thinker I obviously don’t value feelings as highly and also find my emotions are intrusive and unnecessary. I’ve often wished I could be more like the ‘emotionless robot’ stereotype. Emotions happen suddenly like an on/off switch, making them difficult to control at times. I try to suppress and ignore them as they seem pointless, only to have them pop up unexpectedly. I feel many emotions/feelings, but I don’t understand them very well, and it has taken years for me to treat them as useful regarding my wellbeing. That said, I also suffer from Bipolar disorder (including a great deal of anxiety), and so have been subjected to strong and unnecessary moods due to an imbalance of brain chemistry.
I have started to research being a Thinker with mental health problems as an explanation for being ‘unusually’ emotional despite T preferences. It seems the whole ‘Thinkers are unemotional’ stereotype is so wide-ranging so as to be unhelpful to those of us who are plagued by our feelings instead. There’s a little bit of discussion out there, but nothing particularly constructive as yet. I’ll keep looking, however.
Health aside, of course, as an INTP my inferior function is Fe, so it will behave like an inferior function – on/off, childlike, and with no subtlety. Many INTPs can be loud, exuberant and warm when in the right sort of company (one-to-one, or a small likeminded group). Likewise we can react in a negative way just as strongly. I’ve often envied the Feelers I know their ability to accept their feelings/emotions and to be confident using them to make a decision. The Ti/Fe dichotomy can be extremely stressful to the point of physical pain. I have spent considerable time in Inferior Fe grip as well.
My partner, an ISFJ, is very comfortable with his feelings and any feeling-based decisions he makes. Though not always outwardly emotional, he is always warm and very much geared towards his co-pilot of Fe/Harmony. I am the opposite of this, but our personalities are complementary as we share functions but in a different order. I feel a great deal of love for him, but it took me several months to accept that this was a good thing and not a weakness.
My father, an INFP, has also suffered with his mental health. However, unlike me, he still uses his emotions as a guide no matter how unpleasant they may be, and his personal values are paramount.