Hi Joel: thanks for the video. I would want to explore with you regarding the above belief. I say this because my typical sense of you is a person who sees conflict as authenticity, sincerity, honesty. Sometimes “conflict” takes the form of an argument, and sometimes it takes the form of a fight. A fight represents a form of low-vibration energy. It is based on the desire to have ego-driven, vindictive triumph, i.e. “I win, you lose.” Meanwhile, an argument describes a form of high-vibration energy. It arises from a search for truth-value, knowledge, and understanding. It embodies a commitment to shared excellence – a “win-win.” Just some thoughts.
Peace and love,
David
P.S. My inner pedant wants to point out that it was my cousin – many times removed, Henry David Thoreau, who said that the “mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation,” – and not Shakespeare.
Mia
May 15, 2019 at 2:20 pm
Wow I really enjoyed this. Been learning a little more about the energy work. I have a question, you see I seem to attract these very insecure men into my life, boyfriend.. let’s start w/ that one. I break up, seeing this is not good. He comes back & says oh, I promised to build your deck, so I always keep my word. I say no, I do not need a deck. He does it anyway and he starts to sabotage my life. For instance he is very jealous of friends, the fact I was involved & leading a group in church & he even told me he could change my relationship w/ my friend’s & I said why would you even want to do that. He had told me he can be very convincing. And when I started connecting the dots, I was shocked what he actually did to discredit my integrity. Shocked! So now let’s go to a guy I worked for, it gets worse.. A paranoid schizophrenic,( did not have all the info when I took the full time position)… Also a covert narcissist, very evil man. He is a chiropractor. He gave me a debilitating Chiro adjustment, which now I am challenged physically. I had to give up going to school for massage license, because of the challenges. He poisoned me and pretty sure raped as well. A very evil evil man. Needless to say my life as I knew it and enjoyed has been reduced in all areas. Physically, financially, emotionally. I am 60 years old and trying to start over. The police tell me it is called transference because. He is angry at the x girlfriend. The little guy put me thru hell, reduced me to a life of destitute. I really need to understand this, because I need to figure out how I am attracting these people in my life. And each one gets worse. They are drawn to me, because of my positive, I can do this attitude. But they are very insecure, blood sucking vampires try to reduce my life and the last one almost succeeded because he tried to murder me by poisoning me. I was just an employee and started the full time position after his (7 yr.) girlfriend kicked him to the curb and took his expensive home. Just the secretary. I always tried to treat people as I want to be treated. But somewhere there must be something broken within myself, that I keep drawing these demented, small statured, insecure men in my life. The guy I dated… I broke up told him to stay out of my life… comes back and act so sincere. And months later, I see the damages that occurred allowing him back just to build a deck for me. Even to the point he drugged me, to get me to have sex with me, when our relationship was not like that.
I need to know why I keep attracting this in my life. And I am trying to let go of the fear and trying hard to rebuild my life and it is so challenging but determined to find the answers. When I heard you guys speaking, I am feeling that maybe you are on to something that I can turn my life around. Why are these insecure men drawn to me, then try to destroy me. I was the type of person that I took on a challenge, flipped homes, etc. things that most of the men feared to do. I like my life, in spite of facing some set backs, but was always able to rise above. Until these 2 little evil men. I am struggling and I need to understand what the heck I am doing & why and how they innocently come into my life, and they sabotage and manipulate & reduce my life to this. I am a fighter, I don’t give up easily, but let me tell you this has reduced me to the point of asking myself, can I do this! To be honest with you right now I am not liking my life.. it is a huge struggle when you are dealing w/ every are just blown up. Emotional, physical, Financial. Before this happened, as I mentioned I liked my life. I had direction, purpose, confidence, financially comfortable. But I had very few people in my corner & the ones I thought were, left because whatever the ex-boyfriend told them changed our friendship. So yes I do things a lot solo and enjoy it most of the time. I am at the beach for a week a gift from my son and I came here alone to soul search and I came across your podcast. Thank you, not giving up, because then those insecure jerks would win.
Vitor Ferreira
May 15, 2019 at 1:19 pm
Sorry, Joel. I feel I have to be honest with you. I appreciate and respect your attempt at giving us different perspectives on tools for personal growth and life management, for its intention. However, being authentic, I cannot accept your insight: energy-coaching. I see myself as a rational person valuing scientific process and knowledge. Not by chance I’ve been typed often as INTP or sometimes INTJ. To this day, I’m not entirely sure of my “true type”. I do know, for sure, regardless of that, people suggesting to me to act or think based on those ideas I personally consider as esoterical or mystical (forgive me if that’s an innacurate classification) makes me squirm or automatically roll my eyes. Even with the MBTI, I’ve had issues accepting it. Sometimes, it feels too much like pseudo-science or self-help books for my taste. Have to remind myself often how accurate it has been at times or that it’s just one imperfect tool as many, though not necessarily less applicable than more rigorous alternatives.
In conclusion, you can keep sending me these inputs if you so wish. However, it’s likely I won’t make use of them for the aforementioned reasons.
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8 comments
“Conflict creates intimacy”
Hi Joel: thanks for the video. I would want to explore with you regarding the above belief. I say this because my typical sense of you is a person who sees conflict as authenticity, sincerity, honesty. Sometimes “conflict” takes the form of an argument, and sometimes it takes the form of a fight. A fight represents a form of low-vibration energy. It is based on the desire to have ego-driven, vindictive triumph, i.e. “I win, you lose.” Meanwhile, an argument describes a form of high-vibration energy. It arises from a search for truth-value, knowledge, and understanding. It embodies a commitment to shared excellence – a “win-win.” Just some thoughts.
Peace and love,
David
P.S. My inner pedant wants to point out that it was my cousin – many times removed, Henry David Thoreau, who said that the “mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation,” – and not Shakespeare.
Wow I really enjoyed this. Been learning a little more about the energy work. I have a question, you see I seem to attract these very insecure men into my life, boyfriend.. let’s start w/ that one. I break up, seeing this is not good. He comes back & says oh, I promised to build your deck, so I always keep my word. I say no, I do not need a deck. He does it anyway and he starts to sabotage my life. For instance he is very jealous of friends, the fact I was involved & leading a group in church & he even told me he could change my relationship w/ my friend’s & I said why would you even want to do that. He had told me he can be very convincing. And when I started connecting the dots, I was shocked what he actually did to discredit my integrity. Shocked! So now let’s go to a guy I worked for, it gets worse.. A paranoid schizophrenic,( did not have all the info when I took the full time position)… Also a covert narcissist, very evil man. He is a chiropractor. He gave me a debilitating Chiro adjustment, which now I am challenged physically. I had to give up going to school for massage license, because of the challenges. He poisoned me and pretty sure raped as well. A very evil evil man. Needless to say my life as I knew it and enjoyed has been reduced in all areas. Physically, financially, emotionally. I am 60 years old and trying to start over. The police tell me it is called transference because. He is angry at the x girlfriend. The little guy put me thru hell, reduced me to a life of destitute. I really need to understand this, because I need to figure out how I am attracting these people in my life. And each one gets worse. They are drawn to me, because of my positive, I can do this attitude. But they are very insecure, blood sucking vampires try to reduce my life and the last one almost succeeded because he tried to murder me by poisoning me. I was just an employee and started the full time position after his (7 yr.) girlfriend kicked him to the curb and took his expensive home. Just the secretary. I always tried to treat people as I want to be treated. But somewhere there must be something broken within myself, that I keep drawing these demented, small statured, insecure men in my life. The guy I dated… I broke up told him to stay out of my life… comes back and act so sincere. And months later, I see the damages that occurred allowing him back just to build a deck for me. Even to the point he drugged me, to get me to have sex with me, when our relationship was not like that.
I need to know why I keep attracting this in my life. And I am trying to let go of the fear and trying hard to rebuild my life and it is so challenging but determined to find the answers. When I heard you guys speaking, I am feeling that maybe you are on to something that I can turn my life around. Why are these insecure men drawn to me, then try to destroy me. I was the type of person that I took on a challenge, flipped homes, etc. things that most of the men feared to do. I like my life, in spite of facing some set backs, but was always able to rise above. Until these 2 little evil men. I am struggling and I need to understand what the heck I am doing & why and how they innocently come into my life, and they sabotage and manipulate & reduce my life to this. I am a fighter, I don’t give up easily, but let me tell you this has reduced me to the point of asking myself, can I do this! To be honest with you right now I am not liking my life.. it is a huge struggle when you are dealing w/ every are just blown up. Emotional, physical, Financial. Before this happened, as I mentioned I liked my life. I had direction, purpose, confidence, financially comfortable. But I had very few people in my corner & the ones I thought were, left because whatever the ex-boyfriend told them changed our friendship. So yes I do things a lot solo and enjoy it most of the time. I am at the beach for a week a gift from my son and I came here alone to soul search and I came across your podcast. Thank you, not giving up, because then those insecure jerks would win.
Sorry, Joel. I feel I have to be honest with you. I appreciate and respect your attempt at giving us different perspectives on tools for personal growth and life management, for its intention. However, being authentic, I cannot accept your insight: energy-coaching. I see myself as a rational person valuing scientific process and knowledge. Not by chance I’ve been typed often as INTP or sometimes INTJ. To this day, I’m not entirely sure of my “true type”. I do know, for sure, regardless of that, people suggesting to me to act or think based on those ideas I personally consider as esoterical or mystical (forgive me if that’s an innacurate classification) makes me squirm or automatically roll my eyes. Even with the MBTI, I’ve had issues accepting it. Sometimes, it feels too much like pseudo-science or self-help books for my taste. Have to remind myself often how accurate it has been at times or that it’s just one imperfect tool as many, though not necessarily less applicable than more rigorous alternatives.
In conclusion, you can keep sending me these inputs if you so wish. However, it’s likely I won’t make use of them for the aforementioned reasons.