In our Couples Mapping program, we talk a lot about how you and your partner show each other love.

We make a lot of assumptions in relationships. It’s easy to do. Our culture often forces us to see most relationships as the same. People giving relationship advice make blanket statements about HOW partnerships must look.

But you and I know that each romantic partner is wired differently based on their unique personality. And so one partner may be looking for “signs of love” from the other.

If we don’t receive our expected “sign of love” it can feel like a rejection. Or worse, when we try to send an expression of love our partner doesn’t see it or they criticize it from lack of understanding. Your parter may be showing you love right now and you’re blind to it because of your personality differences.

It can be challenging for for many to understand their Effectiveness partner.

When an Effectiveness user says “I Love You” it may not be with words.

In fact, your partner supporting you no matter what may be the greatest signal of love they can give.

We recorded the this video about Effectiveness users and how they show love to their partners.

Start Your “Couples Map”

Create A Side-By-Side Map Of Each Other’s Personalities To Be Truly Seen, Accepted And Understood By Your Partner, And Wake Up Happy Together

What if your partner just ‘got you’? What if the things that drive you crazy became your favorite parts? What if you didn’t avoid communication, but instead raced home to talk over your day? What if they were the person you trusted most with your emotions?


  • Aimee
    • Aimee
    • January 29, 2023 at 10:08 pm

    This is all true and I feel uncomfortably seen as an INTJ.

  • Gwendolyn
    • Gwendolyn
    • March 26, 2021 at 8:03 am

    Very helpful. As my ISTJ spouse more and more uses his Te co-pilot on himself as well as others, he is developing skill around "learning himself " and how he functions as a system. He then is making more effective decisions to show up in healthy ways for himself. It has turned our relationship around.
    Instead of looping he is connecting in our relationship in healthy ways. I love it!

  • Tracy
    • Tracy
    • March 25, 2021 at 10:47 pm

    This was so very helpful. I now understand a colleague of mine so much better and can respect their approach to collaboration! Thank you.

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