Podcast - Episode 0314 - Personality FIRM Fixation vs Co-Pilot Development

In this podcast you’ll find:

• Car Model
• Firm Model
• Our Book
• Many people ask: “What do I do when I’ve already developed my auxiliary function/copilot?”
• You may have developed your Copilot to a certain point, but it is tricky.
• Our FIRM model fixation, is locked in a continuous battle with our Copilot.
• We can trick ourselves into believing we’ve mastered our Copilot, but it is only our FIRM fixation trying to trick us into thinking we don’t have any more work to do so it doesn’t have to face the change it fears.
• FIRM Fixation:
  • F = Freedom (all EP types)
  • I – Invulnerability (all IJ types)
  • R = Rightness (all IP types)
  • M = Management (all EJ types)
• Freedom: All EP Types
  • Auxiliary function for EFPs is Introverted Feeling “Authenticity”
  • Auxiliary function for ETPs is Introverted Thinking “Accuracy”
  • EPs Freedom fixation wants all possibilities and options open at any time and the ability to go in any direction at any time.
  • Authenticity and Accuracy limit that freedom for EPs.
  • They are Introverted Judging processes, and they make choices that limit options.
  • Once you say “Yes” to one thing, you are saying “No” to other things.
  • That can feel limiting to EPs.
  • Introverted Judging = Personal Accountability
  • Introverted Thinking gets more sophisticated with development and can’t separate itself from integrity.
  • It must be in alignment with the things that make sense, which requires duty and rooting out cognitive dissonance.
  • Nothing causes cognitive dissonance more than doing things in a way that contradicts what is meaningful to you as a person.
  • As you develop Accuracy and start watching for integrity in yourself and others, it is going to limit your freedom to act.
  • As Introverted Feeling gets more sophisticated, it can’t separate itself from its Core Values.
  • EFPs waste a lot of time chasing the newest shiny object, but Introverted Feeling brings freedom from being trapped in a meaningless life.
  • When people bounce around from thing to thing, they can’t get any traction in life or generate the resource to bring the freedom they want.
  • EPs need to be aware of the tendency to shy away from anything that limits their choices.
  • Intellectual or emotional dishonesty is a constant pull for EPs.
  • Introverted Thinking users need to remember to be more careful with information.
  • It is easy for them to assume they have taken in enough info to judge someone else’s data.
  • Spend time with your auxiliary, and don’t rush a decision which will usually put you in your tertiary.
  • Podcast Cognitive Functions And Time
• Invulnerability: All IJ Types
  • Auxiliary function for IFJs is Extraverted Feeling “Harmony”
  • Auxiliary function for ITJs is Extraverted Thinking “Effectiveness”
  • When IJs get into their extraverted judging function, it forces them into the outer world, and they get real-time feedback from the world that lets them know if they are calibrated correctly or not.
  • This is a vulnerable place for IJs.
  • IJs are very protective of their energy.
  • Work begets work.
  • IFJs worry about getting into relationships with people they may conflict with.
  • IJs resist the expectations they may create in the outside world.
  • For EPs, True freedom comes from knowing what you’re here to do and what matters.
  • For IJs, outer world creation can be self-generating and require less work than they think.
  • Nothing generates a feeling of vulnerability more than to be caught unprepared.
  • IJs understand this the most because they tend to overprepare.
  • “Measure twice. Cut once.”
  • There’s nothing more vulnerable than putting things you believe are important out into the world.
  • That’s what an extraverted judging function does.
  • It judges how things should be set up in the outside world, which exposes you to other people’s opinions.
  • That’s how IJs build their external structures which can be protective or regenerative.
  • In moments of attack, you have built so many structures around you that you’re okay.
  • If you’re sitting around doing nothing, you are protecting your energy, but what happens in a moment of calamity?
  • You have nothing to help you out.
  • So, the outlay of energy in a moment of calamity is crushing.
  • Build your safe structures in the world, so when calamity strikes, you have a system in place to prevent overwhelm.
  • These systems make you less vulnerable in the end.
• Rightness: All IP Types
  • Auxiliary function for INPs is Extraverted Intuition “Exploration”
  • Auxiliary function for ISPs is Extraverted Sensing “Sensation”
  • If I’m right and I know this to be true (resonate) it gives me a sense of assuredness so that I can move in the outer world with conviction.
  • IPs struggle with motivation.
  • Individual Rights: The right to feel the way you want to feel. Or think the way you want to think.
  • Exploration and Sensation are Perceiving functions
  • Perceiving functions are about learning and info gathering
  • If IPs are exercising their Extraverted Perceiving copilot, they are getting regular feedback on how wrong they often are.
  • If IPs stop taking in info, their inner world wisdom stagnates and gets more myopic.
  • The more limited the info and exposure to outer world feedback, the less likely the IP is to be right.
  • IPs extraverted Copilot helps them get rooted in how reality works.
  • IPs need external feedback to show them:
  • How things are (Sensation) vs. how things could be (Exploration)
  • Exposure to the world can be scary in the short term because of the possibility to be wrong, but it will help you be right in the long run.
  • “You have a right to feel/think that way, but it doesn’t mean you’re right.”
  • Recognize you can be wrong.
  • You still have the right to feel the way you want to feel, and you can build a bridge between your inner world and the outer world.
  • Your feelings aren’t going to impact the outer world unless you can recognize that the outer world will operate very differently from your internal landscape.
  • Allow the outer world to impact you and find a way for your inner landscape to impact the outer world.
  • IPs worry the outside world won’t honor their individuality.
  • ISPs take in the reality of a situation as opposed to inventing something
  • INPs make patterns of reality
  • IPs are less likely to be marginalized if they are taking in info from the outer world.
  • ISPs become more realistic
  • INPs see the bigger picture
  • IPs know that if they take in info from the outside world, it will change who they are.
  • ITPs will have to change their thoughts and how they think about the world
  • IFPs will have to change how they feel about themselves, and their very identity may change.
  • New info is an identity shift for IPs.
  • The world is always changing and shifting.
  • Being right is a fantasy.
  • Just like with EPs, unfettered freedom is a fantasy.
  • For IJs, invulnerability is a fantasy. We are all vulnerable.
  • Never lose sight of the power of your auxiliary function.
  • Perceiving functions are about learning
• Management: All EJ Types
  • Auxiliary function for ENJs is Introverted Intuition “Perspectives”
  • Auxiliary function for ESJs is Introverted Sensing “Memory”
  • These types are interested in managing the outer world
  • EFJs are more interested in social/relational structures
  • ETJs are more interested in systems, structures, and resources in the outer world.
  • EJs challenge is going inside and facing the uncertainty of their inner world.
  • All fixations are about control. They all want control in a specific way.
  • Management is about knowing what should be done in the outside world and implementing or getting other people to implement.
  • Certainty is required here, and EJs feel robbed of their certainty by going inside themselves.
  • If an EJ spends a moment questioning what is happening for someone else, they have to question if they have the right to manage other people.
  • “What are the implications of my behavior?”
  • “What is the long term damage of what I’m doing?”
  • It’s easier to blitz through those questions and just get into action, which is what EJs tend to do.
  • EPs fear accountability
  • IJs fear other people’s expectations
  • IPs fear being marginalized by the world
  • EJs fear uncertainty
  • EPs fear they are going to get stuck somewhere
  • IJs fear exposure to destruction
  • IPs fear losing themselves to the outside world
  • EJs fear they will lose their power through perpetual questioning.
  • All of this is counterintuitive.
  • EJs have more power in leadership when they start considering other people’s viewpoints.
  • People will instinctively follow a leader who isn’t tyrannical.
  • EJs tend to watch for undermining energy, and they fear their Copilot will undermine them.
  • Pause and question your decisions. “Measure twice and cut once.”
  • EJs waste fewer resources by pausing and considering their actions.
  • ENJs: Fuel your mind with more info on how people experience things.
  • ESJs: Learn from the mistakes of the past.
  • Read high-quality content and increase your knowledge base.
  • EJs put themselves in a position of management, whether a team of people, their family, or just themselves.
• Developing your Copilot is not at odds with your fixation.
• It will honor it more honestly.
• We all want to see ourselves as further along than we are in our growth and development.
• We can trick ourselves into believing we are further along than we are by indulging our FIRM fixation.
• Our Copilot is the toughest function to master, but it brings the highest return.
• It will never be complete.