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In this podcast Joel and Antonia are joined by guest host Dr. Dario Nardi to discuss different ways personality types talk to each other.
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8 comments
I laughed out loud when Antonia said the worst thing someone can do when she’s angry is ask her how she’s feeling before she has an opportunity to complete her thought. I’ve been there. My conscious self knows this person is inviting me to drop beneath the frustration or anger that’s presenting and get to something more tender, and in the moment I want to respond with “I’m feeling like I want to poke your eyeballs out with knitting needles right now…” ?? or some other graphically violent thought because I get so annoyed that they don’t seem to be listening to or following my (clearly right) Ti stream.
Thank you Joel, Antonia, and Dario. A great episode as always. ??
Dr Dario’s comment about Fe being dangerous to him was so spot on. I actually shouted the word “manipulative” before he said it. What would be more helpful are specific ways to interact with Fe users that satisfy them, while not walking away from the interaction feeling completely drained or like you just gave up something that was important to you but you have no idea what it was or how they got it or how to get it back. Both my mother and monther-in-law are Fe users, and I believe the later is Fe dominant. Both are very nice, good people, and as I’m getting older I’m beginning to realize that “avoid at all cost” is probably not a great strategy, and I should start forming some new ones.
I test as INTJ but I’m not postive that is correct. I do believe I use the INTJ functions, I’m just unsure I’m what order.
Sometimes, when I expect others to reframe after a period of time has passed, I find that the other person has not reframed, and we are at the same point as we were before. Not a good vibe.
Antonia, I think what you need when you’re upset is someone to be totally present, hold space with unconditional acceptance and be a mirror for you. As Joel said, it’s about saying ‘So what I hear you say is….’ and it allows you (or whoever) to stay with their experience without having to consider the other person’s perspective. I see it as a befriending role where the other person is totally there for you as a true friend, is able to set aside their own position and be a kind loving presence for you. This perspective comes from knowing you are an Enneagram 3 and the importance of mirroring for 3’s. I’d be interested to hear what you think ?
As for the podcast, I enjoyed it but I was waiting for my type insights and was disappointed not to hear that. I’ve tested as ISFP and INFP so did I miss my advice? I did hear some discussion about FP’s but as you mentioned I really prefer teaching to include some examples because the dryness of the functions can make it difficult for me to be sure I’m interpreting things correctly.
Thank you for sharing! We didn’t have a strong Fe user (just me) to represent this side, so I’m grateful you shared your experience.
A