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PHQ | QUESTIONS FROM COMMUNITY: In this episode, Joel and Antonia answer a question about setting boundaries as an ENFJ.
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13 comments
I teared up around minute 23. Being honest seems to rub people the wrong way and i just dont speak up and it SUCKS! so i can go from the “lets figure out this together” instead of “Lemme tell you how it is!!!”
is it normal for ENFJs to feel vulnerable expressing their thoughts and feelings??? I do and thats why i confuse myself with the INFJ….
its hard for me to talk about myself, i just focus on others….uuggh i hate being Fe dominant.
thoughts….
Being kind and not just nice..oh my did THAT ring a bell.
when my Ni “sees” something it’s so hard to say what I see when it’s going to ruffle feathers and Im almost positive they don’t really want to know. I use to never quite get across what I needed to because I didn’t want to hurt the other person. It took a long time to get that no matter what I needed to say sometimes being nice doesn’t make the other person feel good and it does ruffle feathers..but if I’m just nice all the time…I wind up getting hurt…or carrying something I don’t need to carry. yup… pretty spot on. ugh.
As an ENFJ with a very strong passenger (Ni) Balancing being Kind with being Nice has always been tough. Fortunately I’m an ENFJ with really good friends that do indeed understand me. I have an inordinate amount of acquaintances…and I’ve gotten better with age at handling the demands they can put on me (and if I’m honest I allowed them to)
Just wanted to say…not bad I found myself shaking my head in the affirmative for many of your points. This was a perfect convo to have with ENFJs…especially young ones. I hate reading about ENFJ where it seems that people think that they are shallow or manipulative I think perhaps the thing that saved me is that even if there were some that perhaps felt that I was, I had enough people who truly knew me and even if some didn’t completely understand me, they accepted me for who I am. Made a huge difference in my development.
Anyway…thank you for the podcast I enjoyed.
Why certainly I did not mean that ENFJs are less intelligent! My point was that sometimes detaching oneself from social context and making “cold”, rational decisions can be very beneficial. And I suspect it might be hard to do for a person who feels the pulse of this social world in her veins.
Antonia, I really think even broaching the subject will give those people a sense of permission to engage in a more parallel dialogue with you. :)
Thank you Christa for listening and joining the conversation! So happy this resonated with you.