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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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304 comments
Excellent podcast!! I really would like to reiterate some of the points this podcast made about INFJ individuals. Yes, it can be a very lonely place and tough road to travel alone at times. Not only do INFJ’s absorb an incredible amount of emotion, I would say for me, I absorb an equally large or even larger amount of data on any given day and IN EVERY WAKING HOUR. I would say the greatest struggle for me is to just not think. I want to enjoy a shower where I don’t have to analyze information. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that an INFJ learn to set boundaries. I am talking about mental, emotional and even intellectual boundaries. I have learned to pace and structure my day in a way that limits how much information I will allow myself to chew on and how much interpersonal interplay I am going to experience. I take time to re-charge every day. The podcast is right. Take care of yourself first.
Secondly, the point of mission is spot on. I don’t always feel that I have adequate language to express my ideas. In my profession, verbal communication is a fundamental. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I have to communicate pretty significant life-changing concepts to people all day long. Here is how I compensate for my perceived verbal weakness. I remind myself that my mission is more important than my perceived inadequacies. Take time to discover your mission. Once you do, you will be a powerful force. Embrace your inadequacies…they are a part of the human experience that helps you join with people.
I have other compensatory strategies. I process information visually and work collaboratively. So I approach my work with more of a teaching style that offers invitation and challenge. I rely on my dry erase board to help me externalize my thoughts and ideas. I unpack things as a concept. I trust processes which help me release other people’s emotions like the dialysis machine metaphor. People give me their emotions. I give them a process. I can then quickly release the emotion and it’s up to them to take the process. Because of this, I never carry emotion that is not mine home with me. “I will hold this for you safely while I show you a better way. After that, it’s up to you to hold it or let it go.”
Thanks for podcast!
Conscious Wheel Position
50: Helping Supporter (Accommodating)
Less Conscious Wheel Position
10: Helping Supporter (Focused)
Thank you for having this episode and keeping the conversation fresh almost 2 years running. I am a 26 yr old male who until about the age of 21 lived with much of the suffering you spoke of. I come from a good background, as an only child, with two polar opposite parents who If I could estimate would be about an INFJ (dad) and ESTP (mom). Needless to say my childhood was very tough emotionally. I am 100% poster child INFJ, and Cancer born July 11th.
I was lucky enough to have my eyes widened in my college years, when I happened to naturally start working down the path of self-value, noticing the patterns of patterns, and most importantly becoming aware of how my energy and that of others co-create our reality. I harnessed this self-knowledge and formed and maintained some lasting relationships.
Today I work on the corporate side of large-box retailer and my unique abilities are naturally excelling me in the workplace. I started in the stores as a part time associate 2 years ago, and over the past year I was promoted to corporate, and received an additional promotion after 9 months. I have noticed my INFJ tendencies allowing me to form fast, deep, and discerning bonds with colleagues ranging from VP’s to associates. I have noticed my ability to see patterns of patterns and re-apply them in separate contexts has been incredibly useful in strategy setting and sales forecasting. I have noticed OTHER feeling based leaders naturally glob onto me and value my opinions, which are typically excellently nuanced with insight. The workplace has been an EXCELLENT place to hone my energies and get quick fire practice at managing the energies of others’. I am lucky enough that my workplace has invested in my personal development as well, allowing me to take leadership and coaching training typically reserved for managers with direct reports; and I have also been lucky enough to take Insights Discovery as well.
The combination of Insights, MBTI, and help from sources like you has all but assured me I will be the leader I want to be, developing others and making an impact wherever possible.
Thanks again!
p.s. I noticed an exact correlation between Insights, MBTI, and my NATAL HOROSCOPE facilitated by Astro.com. I find it very interesting that 3 frameworks, 2 based on CG Jung and 1 based on star mappings, yield almost identical results in terms of personal insights.
Listening to this brings me to tears, I am forever grateful. I am at an all time low, but your words have brought me encouragement, hope, and tools to change my situation. I am an INFJ, along with that I have Multiple Sclerosis with cognitive issues being where it has decided to hit me the worst (ie: memory, losing the ability to find words to express thoughts- google and the thesaurus are my best friends- depression).. those coupled together is beyond frustrating and your podcast took this incredible burden and put it into words that could have flowed directly from my mouth and I felt this massive weight being lifted from my shoulders. Now that I have found this almost magical tool to explain about ‘me’, all I need are the people in my life to care enough to take the 49 minutes and really listen. Considering I had no takers with the 19 minute video explaining my MS cognitive issues, its looking bleak, lol… but at least now i have that tool if i ever find someone to care. Most people in todays world are too wrapped up in themselves and their social media wanting to find out about everything going on in everybodys life but yet not really caring about what it is that others are going through. Those same people then want all attention directed on their problems. Lucky for them though that they have me, right? ;)
Thank You Again & Much <3 <3 <3
Very useful! Thank you Julia for participating in the discussion. I think visualizations are surprisingly effective! :)