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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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304 comments
I wish I had friends that had this much insight into me.
Towards the end of the podcast when you were talking about being a conduit for emotions etc while being misunderstood… I feel that is very much related to the enneagram four personality type . I know an infj enneagram one and she is much more inclined to give herself space and etc… What do you think?
Also, I think it is possible for INFJ to ‘see’ or learn ‘how’ they know things, and actually explain where the `intuition’ came from. I think for this it is probably necessary to really train the thinking part and apply it to what here is referred to as the ‘perspective’ process. As you say we see the patterns of patterns of patterns – but if you can SEE the patterns, you can identify many of them and eventually explain them (e.g., “I think/feel this and that and it is based at least in part on these and these signals and this and this prior knowledge/experiences”.)
Haha! You are so right, Dingen. I am surrounded by INTJs too. I never bring up the Jesus/Gandhi thing. Mostly because there’s really no way to prove it. Maybe you can just talk really loudly over that particular part of the podcast. ;)
Thanks for an interesting podcast. I would like to use a podcast like this to get stuff across to friends/family/… However, one thing that bothers me in almost all descriptions of the INFJ is the omg SUPERRARE personality = special and the Jesus/Mandela/Gandhi/etc thing. As soon as this is in a description, the more skeptical people (like all of the many intjs in my environment that I love) will pretty much immediately tune out, and rightly so. As soon as I share this it makes it seem like I kind of think that I am (or have the potential to be/ should want to be like) Jesus/Gandhi/etc, and makes people not take this stuff seriously at all, and that – as you rightly discuss – is incredibly frustrating.