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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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304 comments
Adding to my last comment… Yes, we will feel invalidated by many and a few of the many are doing it on purpose (gaslighting – google it if you don’t know what it is, it will change your life) to keep you questioning who you really are. Trust and believe your gut, implement healthy boundaries, and anyone who accuses you of being selfish when you start saying no is displaying a “red flag” and you may need to go no contact. The important thing is to reserve your energy for the greatest good (toxic people love when their target explains or defends themselves so stop defending or explaining yourself).
As an individual who after 4 decades finally learned that I needed to implement healthy boundaries the part that Joel shared about the INFJ being part of everybody when everybody’s needs are being met was HUGE! It can be challenging to assert I have needs too without feeling selfish (almost 4 decades of being the scapegoat of a dysfunctional family or origin).
Also separating ourselves from what we are feeling and recognizing that oftentimes we are just picking up what someone around us is going through and it may be so we can speak or somehow bless them.
It is critical for the INJF to discern who is taking action on the advice given and who is just pretending to want to change to keep the INJF off track from impacting and helping others by sticking by their side and teaching/helping (well thinking they are). INJF’s/empaths/highly sensitive persons who lack healthy boundaries will be prey/targets for toxic people (narcassists/sociopaths/psychopaths).
No. They try to change people.
Thank you for this podcast. I only realized the definition of my personality type very recently, through articles which would describe exactly my behaviors and why, so sharing them with family members to make them, not understand me as that is impossible, but at least accept me as I am without worrying secretly that I have some serious mental disorder. I have been a loner most of my life and only recently go together and it has not been easy to understand each other. But thanks to my spiritual practices and like you say understanding people’s mind one learns to respect their behaviors and work with one’s own reaction. Thanks to people like yourselves that are sharing and spreading this type of information we can become aware and find ways to survive. Where there is consciousness there is more respect and acceptance from one another. Thank you also for the advice you give which is very helpful. What helps me most is a great connection with Nature, taking walks and appreciating its beauty also through creative activities like drawing, painting, and photography, listening to positive music helps greatly to relax when there are too many emotions to handle.
I spent a lot of time and efforts to know myself. I did this because of my firm belief that self awareness is a key for our life in general and specifically to use our full potential in this world. Hence, through my long journey, I saw parts of my self within different personality types. So, i always felt incomplete since I didn’t get the full version of myself just in one personality type.
Thanks to your kind support, I can now fully see my self in one personality type, INFJ. You have no idea how this awareness significant to my life, my family, friends and the people around me.