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In this episode Joel & Antonia talk about sharing your personal growth with others and the challenges that can arise.
In this podcast on Personal Growth you’ll find:
- We recently had a conversation with a younger friend who was depressed. She expressed how stressed she was when giving people help and advice.
- How do you make someone understand something that’s life changing for you? What’s the best way to share something very meaningful for you to them?
- The relationships you have account as the biggest piece in your personal development.
- If you make big changes and you start becoming healthier and become a better version of yourself, you will mirror to other people, their bad behavior.
- We also don’t know where other people are at. Some of them may make progress but we don’t always see it on the outside – oftentimes it’s an internal process.
- Understand that others are in the stream of their own development and it’s not really for anyone to judge where they’re at.
- Most people are interested in improving themselves at least to some extent.
- Most people would like to be in a better place than where they’re at now.
- If you are interested in Personal Growth, it’s something you’ll never graduate from. You’re gonna have to continually refine and work on how you go through no matter where you are in your journey.
- People are on different levels of their personal journey. Do we just completely leave them alone or help them in the process?
- Trauma Triangle. People will see the world in terms of victims, villains and heroes. When you get caught in the drama triangle, once you put yourself in one of those 3 situations, you need to find other people/situations to fill in the other two spaces.
- Empowerment Dynamic. Empowerment Dynamic is the antidote to the Trauma Triangle. Instead of having a villain, you get a challenger. Instead of a hero, you get a coach who’s somebody who isn’t there to save you but might just be the person you need at that time to provide wisdom that you capture and run with. Instead of victims, we have creators. People who create their world as oppose to just being at the receiving end of the world around them.
- If you discovered personality development tools that have massively changed your life, you can share them with other people. However, if it’s no their thing, it doesn’t mean that they’re not making progress within themselves.
- Personal development is like and exercise for your mind. The more you use and focus it, the more you become better at it.
- If you want other people to follow your path/tool in personal development, just be happy and continue being successful.
- When somebody is hostile, that doesn’t mean that they’re unwilling to do personal development.
- For the majority of us, we are still working a lot on our personal development. Understand that not everybody is in the same path as we are, sometimes we have the tendency to put ourselves in the hero role where we feel like it’s our job to fix other people.
- Sometimes we can overvalue our growth and we’ll see somebody else’s growth as a reflection back to us (for example, a past bad behavior) and we tend to assume to that they’re not as developed as we are.
- Be mindful that we really don’t get to determine where somebody else is at in their journey but we do get to determine how they’re going to impact us.
- Using the language that people already use will help a lot in helping them understand you better.
- Is this something you’re currently experiencing? Do you have a strategy that you can share with the community? Let us know in the comments section below.
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15 comments
Cannot rate this podcast’s value in my life right now highly enough. :) – INFJ
Hello! I’m burning through all of your podcasts from the beginning and I so completely wish that I had heard this earlier on in my personal growth journey. I think it would’ve given me a much more clear perspective on what embarking on becoming a better version of yourself looks like. I’m really glad that this is online now to give insight to people in the future.
I think my start was particularly jarring to my friends and family. I’m an INTP and a pretty classic poster boy for the type overall. I was always praised for being calm and in control (robotic?) in stressful situations, but ultimately they didn’t realize that I was just numb 90% of the time and completely out of touch with my emotions.
After a weekend seminar (at a time in my life where I was incredibly depressed) I really broke into my childlike wonder. I mean how better to wake up and energize an Explorer co-pilot than an experiential seminar? The results were not at all what I would’ve expected. It ranged from people thinking I was brain washed or in a cult to them extremely hesitantly trying to re-engage with me.
Years (and many seminars / books / trainings / mentors) later I now relish that feeling and am much better at making space for where people are at, but it can be rather frustrating when you know amazing people and you truly want to play a bigger game with them.
Thank you again, this is going to be go to material for people I meet that are starting their own journey and are looking for clarity on why their relationships feel like they have changed.
Great podcast with a lot of great reminders, I use to try and tell people about all the good things I read and learn about but now I just meet them where they are and only talk about personal development if I know they are into it.
Thanks Charis! I appreciate your personal story (especially the part where your still married even tho your husbands not into personal development) love a positive story to shift my perspective :D I agree, I can’t help it anymore! I just want to grow, learn, be a better version of me! A happier more relaxed version :D the longer I go on the journey the more it seems the journey to happiness IS happiness!! Even the painful parts or the parts of myself I don’t want to know about, are there for a reason and I may never know the reason so I’m quite happy to shift perspectives to see it from a happier angle I don’t care if this is technically insane, it’s working for me lol
Thanks for showing me that the tools are available! Right now! in my own head!
Thanks for the feedback Kelly! In my experience, personal development isn’t always something we can opt out of. There are tons of people who live with their heads in the sand and thereby avoid anything that implies growth is required. But if you are aware – at all – personal growth will find you. Even if you try to ignore it cognitive dissonance will set in and life will become so untenable you will be forced to recognize the need to change.
Does that mean your relationships will all crumble? Not necessarily. My husband has never really been on board with a lot of my personal improvement stuff, but when I look at the past 13 years (our entire married life), I realize he has made some pretty significant strides. All you can do is focus on the requirements of your own soul, show consideration for those in your life who are impacted by your change, and realize that life is meant to evolve.