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In this episode, Joel and Antonia dive deep into the unique challenges, needs, and desires of the INTJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INTJ personality type you’ll find:
Perspectives/Effectiveness
Cassandra – Greek Mythology – Gift of Prophecy without believers.
Ability to see what’s coming down the line, but nobody cares.
Foresight is different from prophecy.
Prophecy knows what’s coming up. Foresight can predict based on observation.
Strategy: Where’s the puck going?
Cynicism comes along with an INTJ recognizing that the world doesn’t value their gifts.
Isolation, loneliness, misunderstood, separation.
Mastermind Article – “Smartest people in the room based upon analytical and linguistic intelligence.”
We as a society have decided different criteria for intelligence. Not necessarily right. There are multiple styles of intelligence. Other types outclass INTJs regarding different kinds of intelligence (i.e. kinesthetic, emotional, etc.)
INTJs are very careful thinkers. They spend a lot of time thinking about whatever has captured their interest. Because they’re careful about how they think, they are also very careful about how they articulate their thoughts. They will show up as smarter because they express their words more precisely. They encourage everyone else to be more careful with how we think.
They expend Energetic credits in thinking through things, which is why INTJs have such an Economy of motion.
Many INTJs think the vast majority of people are careless thinkers.
The driver process for INTJs is Introverted Intuition that we nicknamed “Perspectives.”
Driver – Ni
Perspectives is the ability to watch your mind form patterns over a long time.
Podcast Introverted Intuition vs Extraverted Intuition
INTJs are inside their mind all the time.
They have a sixth sense of what is coming down the pike.
Perspectives is not right 100% of the time. It is a skill that must be developed. Predictions become more accurate the more you develop the skill.
INTJs love conceptualizing what is happening next.
People who use Perspectives think about the box. It’s about meaning and meta perspectiving.
Perspective users start to realize the subjective nature of how people see the world.
The copilot process for INTJs is Extraverted Thinking that we nicknamed “Effectiveness.”
Effectiveness asks “what works?” What is the bottom line? What will accomplish the objective?
Effectiveness is linear. A step by step approach to how to get things done.
Metrics. How do we measure whether something is pass-fail?
Effectiveness Can appear cold hearted because of its way of navigating around feelings to get a project accomplished.
Break things down to component levels. Uses Humans as resources. Effectiveness is Best when emotions aren’t clouding it.
Ni + Te = Perspectives loves to predict. Effectiveness is about metrics and implementing strategies. Coupled together, these create sustainable systems.
INTJs systems are context dependent. They want to make sure no one comes along and breaks their systems.
The 10-year-old process is Introverted Feeling that we have nicknamed Authenticity.
Tertiary – Fi
Authenticity is a decision-making process that checks in with inner alignment.
How are things impacting you emotionally?
Done well it can replicate someone else’s emotions and mirror those feelings back
As a 10-year-old it isn’t a strength. It becomes solely about how things are impacting the INTJ.
It makes the average INTJ feel like a sitting duck; A childlike part of them that can be hurt.
It’s not just a recognition about how things impact you, but it’s an internalization which becomes more crippling.
INTJs struggle because they have a tendency to over rely on this process.
Driver process is Introverted – Copilot is extraverted: we need to have access to both worlds. Introverts need real world feedback to stay balanced.
Ten year old is introverted. Introverts can find themselves avoiding the outer world and staying within. So they rest on that Ni – Fi loop.
If you get inside somebody else’s perspective, then mirror their emotions it becomes overwhelming to a Thinker. So they shut themselves off and create massive distance from the world.
Why INTJs feel so lonely. Human relationships require a measure of vulnerability.
The solution is that INTJs need to become vulnerable. They will survive. They are resilient.
Pain may seem neverending, but it does fade. People can massively add to the quality of your life.
To get to vulnerability, INTJs need to use their Copilot first. Create systems and frameworks of connecting with others.
Create a social event you can feel some control over. As the host, you are the highest status person in the room, and you know everyone.
When INTJs feel out of control, they clamp down.
When Effectiveness feels good in general, it is more open to experiencing closer relationships.
If INTJs aren’t implementing enough effectiveness strategies, they’re going to feel vulnerable and out of control.
Get out of comfort zone and get into action.
Swap the feeling of vulnerability with empowerment. Empowerment comes from building things in outside world and knowing you got the world handled. Then the vulnerability fades.
Even when Authenticity is used well, and it is healthy it is very idealistic. It’s not so much about reality but conviction. This is how things should be making me feel.
Perfectionism is a running theme for INTJs because it is an idealism of the way things should be.
Idealism gets turned in on INTJ themselves, which is crippling.
The opposite is Effectiveness which is pass/fail criteria. Good is better than perfect.
Authenticity is about “does it feel good to me?” So to INTJs nothing is ever good enough. They are waiting for just the right time. Just that perfect moment to implement the ideal strategy.
INTJs should never wait for that perfect moment to act. Start acting first.
Let Authenticity serve Effectiveness.
Effectiveness forces you out of your shell. But there are so many problems when INTJs use Fi as their navigator.
The 3-year-old process is Extraverted Sensing we have nicknamed “Sensation.”
Inferior – Se
Real-time kinetic connection with the environment. Blind spot to INTJs. Sensation Usually shows up when they are Overly stressed. Causes them to Overindulge in sensory behavior.
Both back seat passengers are incredibly indulgent for INTJs: Fi is emotional indulgence, and Se is sensory indulgence.
The thing that they have to monitor themselves for is whether or not they are going to an indulgent space. INTJs need to be physically aware of their body’s needs. The body is not just a vehicle for the brain.
There are Neurons in the stomach and heart which means that the brain cells extend into our body.
A good relationship with three-year-old means you’re nourishing your body and not feeding it junk food.
INTJ women feel disconnected from other women and intimidating to men.
Thinker Women and Feeler Men podcast
25% of women are Thinkers.
When you don’t fit the ideal imprint of the average female you are not going to attract the highest percentage of people, but there are people out there that are looking for a bird of paradise just like you.
If you haven’t run into these people yet, it is because you’re not in the right place. Go beyond your comfort zone.
INTJs don’t have a lot of patience for themselves. One of the best ways to make space for others and be more patient with others is by being more patient with yourself.
Stop worrying about how you should be and be willing to fail and learn. Be the person who gets things done as opposed to conceptualizing things.
Push through the challenges. There will be waste, but action is better than non-action.
Feedback from the outside world will make you feel stronger and more empowered.
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86 comments
Two things stood out as sounding INFJ rather than INTJ.
Hosting a party? More suitable to an INFJ, especially for the reasons it was recommended (control who they interact with/is invited, etc.).
An INFJ is the one far more likely to put up a barrier to prevent taking on the emotions of others. The INTJ is building a wall to prevent accidental exports/immigrants. Vulnerability avoidance, as you’ve mentioned elsewhere on the website.
The advice to engage more in the extroverted functions is great, of course, but the how/why could’ve been tailored better. There is a certain need to actually engage the real world at some point, as well as iteration, but the presentation leaned a little heavy on the extrovert button. Also, sometimes pondering the same information over and over will do you little good and intaking a wider range will be of use.
Using the favored car model – make sure the three year old is fed, entertained/distracted, and has had pee breaks or you’ll be in for an annoying ride.
I really appreciate and admire this entire website and what you have going on here. It has been immensely helpful for my personal growth!
This podcast in particular has helped me figure out that I’m an INTJ. I previously thought I was an INTP until I read your article on the differences between the two types. One aspect you covered that resonated with me especially is the 3-year-old Se in this type. I played soccer my entire life until I quit my Junior year of college. I loved soccer as part of my own identity and developed somewhat of a reliance on it to feel valued and accomplished. Growing up in a big Catholic family, I felt misunderstood and neglected unless I was playing soccer. In college, I had a traumatic experience with the team and coaching staff (mainly with/because of the head coach) and quit after years of struggling with the decision to stay or leave. My family, the people I was told to love and trust, exuded a message to me of pushing through the pain and playing soccer even though it was so traumatic. There advice was based on the fact that I was already there and had only one more year until I was done with college (the athletic scholarship I had was helping me pay for college). I took that advice until I could bare it no longer and quit. This traumatic experience surrounded by the emotional abandonment I felt from my family has strongly influenced me. As an INTJ, I not only see how it affected me in college, but the implications it has had on my entire life. Now I am going through EMDR treatment, a form of therapy for those with PTSD, to contain that pain in the timeframe that it happened rather than how it’s affected my life in its entirety as well as on a daily basis. Now, I basically refuse to take care of my body. However, this podcast, and the connection that you’ve shown me between my physical self and my emotional and mental self is, without a doubt, a good seed that I’m sewing into my perspective of myself. I know that there are more connections to be made between the deconstructed representation of this type and my current battle with PTSD, and I plan on continuing to work through them.
Thank you for everything you do here!
If anyone has any input or relation to my experience, your feedback is so welcome.
I really enjoyed this comment, Randy! We learn something of value from everyone who enters our lives – good or bad.
I recently had someone remind me of this when she pointed out that I have the quickest vetting process of anyone she knows. I quickly determine if someone is, or is not, worth my time. The problem with this is that I decide most people aren’t worth my time, so few people are allowed in.
We can’t learn if we aren’t being tested, and other people force us to grow, change, adapt, compromise, or implode. One way or another, we are changing. ;)
I am really interested in the part of your post mentioning that young intjs hoping to find a rewarding career can try blending mbti with other models(such as MI Theory or enneagram). Mainly because I was just thinking of doing just that! And am an intj too.
However lately I’ve been stuck in a rut. Although I recently graduated with a bachelor’s in cognitive psychology and two language minors, I’ve been feeling somewhat unmotivated. Mainly because I know mbti, and those other models mentioned don’t have much respect in the psychological community. I’m having trouble finding grad programs that would support this type of research. Do you have any advice on what first steps I could take in finding a program supporting this line of work?
As an INTJ, I just had to chime in and say that I do not relate to the animal-love very much. I am definitely far more compassionate about humans–although it is humanity in the abstract, rather than as individuals!–than I am with, well, dogs.
In fact, I tend to be suspicious of most dog-lovers, who are not Cesar Milan, especially when they start rhapsodizing about the special bond that they have with their pets. It just seems like projecting thoughts, feelings, and rationale on a creature that can’t talk back and refute your conclusions.