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In this episode, Joel and Antonia dive deep into the unique challenges, needs, and desires of the INTJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INTJ personality type you’ll find:
Perspectives/Effectiveness
Cassandra – Greek Mythology – Gift of Prophecy without believers.
Ability to see what’s coming down the line, but nobody cares.
Foresight is different from prophecy.
Prophecy knows what’s coming up. Foresight can predict based on observation.
Strategy: Where’s the puck going?
Cynicism comes along with an INTJ recognizing that the world doesn’t value their gifts.
Isolation, loneliness, misunderstood, separation.
Mastermind Article – “Smartest people in the room based upon analytical and linguistic intelligence.”
We as a society have decided different criteria for intelligence. Not necessarily right. There are multiple styles of intelligence. Other types outclass INTJs regarding different kinds of intelligence (i.e. kinesthetic, emotional, etc.)
INTJs are very careful thinkers. They spend a lot of time thinking about whatever has captured their interest. Because they’re careful about how they think, they are also very careful about how they articulate their thoughts. They will show up as smarter because they express their words more precisely. They encourage everyone else to be more careful with how we think.
They expend Energetic credits in thinking through things, which is why INTJs have such an Economy of motion.
Many INTJs think the vast majority of people are careless thinkers.
The driver process for INTJs is Introverted Intuition that we nicknamed “Perspectives.”
Driver – Ni
Perspectives is the ability to watch your mind form patterns over a long time.
Podcast Introverted Intuition vs Extraverted Intuition
INTJs are inside their mind all the time.
They have a sixth sense of what is coming down the pike.
Perspectives is not right 100% of the time. It is a skill that must be developed. Predictions become more accurate the more you develop the skill.
INTJs love conceptualizing what is happening next.
People who use Perspectives think about the box. It’s about meaning and meta perspectiving.
Perspective users start to realize the subjective nature of how people see the world.
The copilot process for INTJs is Extraverted Thinking that we nicknamed “Effectiveness.”
Effectiveness asks “what works?” What is the bottom line? What will accomplish the objective?
Effectiveness is linear. A step by step approach to how to get things done.
Metrics. How do we measure whether something is pass-fail?
Effectiveness Can appear cold hearted because of its way of navigating around feelings to get a project accomplished.
Break things down to component levels. Uses Humans as resources. Effectiveness is Best when emotions aren’t clouding it.
Ni + Te = Perspectives loves to predict. Effectiveness is about metrics and implementing strategies. Coupled together, these create sustainable systems.
INTJs systems are context dependent. They want to make sure no one comes along and breaks their systems.
The 10-year-old process is Introverted Feeling that we have nicknamed Authenticity.
Tertiary – Fi
Authenticity is a decision-making process that checks in with inner alignment.
How are things impacting you emotionally?
Done well it can replicate someone else’s emotions and mirror those feelings back
As a 10-year-old it isn’t a strength. It becomes solely about how things are impacting the INTJ.
It makes the average INTJ feel like a sitting duck; A childlike part of them that can be hurt.
It’s not just a recognition about how things impact you, but it’s an internalization which becomes more crippling.
INTJs struggle because they have a tendency to over rely on this process.
Driver process is Introverted – Copilot is extraverted: we need to have access to both worlds. Introverts need real world feedback to stay balanced.
Ten year old is introverted. Introverts can find themselves avoiding the outer world and staying within. So they rest on that Ni – Fi loop.
If you get inside somebody else’s perspective, then mirror their emotions it becomes overwhelming to a Thinker. So they shut themselves off and create massive distance from the world.
Why INTJs feel so lonely. Human relationships require a measure of vulnerability.
The solution is that INTJs need to become vulnerable. They will survive. They are resilient.
Pain may seem neverending, but it does fade. People can massively add to the quality of your life.
To get to vulnerability, INTJs need to use their Copilot first. Create systems and frameworks of connecting with others.
Create a social event you can feel some control over. As the host, you are the highest status person in the room, and you know everyone.
When INTJs feel out of control, they clamp down.
When Effectiveness feels good in general, it is more open to experiencing closer relationships.
If INTJs aren’t implementing enough effectiveness strategies, they’re going to feel vulnerable and out of control.
Get out of comfort zone and get into action.
Swap the feeling of vulnerability with empowerment. Empowerment comes from building things in outside world and knowing you got the world handled. Then the vulnerability fades.
Even when Authenticity is used well, and it is healthy it is very idealistic. It’s not so much about reality but conviction. This is how things should be making me feel.
Perfectionism is a running theme for INTJs because it is an idealism of the way things should be.
Idealism gets turned in on INTJ themselves, which is crippling.
The opposite is Effectiveness which is pass/fail criteria. Good is better than perfect.
Authenticity is about “does it feel good to me?” So to INTJs nothing is ever good enough. They are waiting for just the right time. Just that perfect moment to implement the ideal strategy.
INTJs should never wait for that perfect moment to act. Start acting first.
Let Authenticity serve Effectiveness.
Effectiveness forces you out of your shell. But there are so many problems when INTJs use Fi as their navigator.
The 3-year-old process is Extraverted Sensing we have nicknamed “Sensation.”
Inferior – Se
Real-time kinetic connection with the environment. Blind spot to INTJs. Sensation Usually shows up when they are Overly stressed. Causes them to Overindulge in sensory behavior.
Both back seat passengers are incredibly indulgent for INTJs: Fi is emotional indulgence, and Se is sensory indulgence.
The thing that they have to monitor themselves for is whether or not they are going to an indulgent space. INTJs need to be physically aware of their body’s needs. The body is not just a vehicle for the brain.
There are Neurons in the stomach and heart which means that the brain cells extend into our body.
A good relationship with three-year-old means you’re nourishing your body and not feeding it junk food.
INTJ women feel disconnected from other women and intimidating to men.
Thinker Women and Feeler Men podcast
25% of women are Thinkers.
When you don’t fit the ideal imprint of the average female you are not going to attract the highest percentage of people, but there are people out there that are looking for a bird of paradise just like you.
If you haven’t run into these people yet, it is because you’re not in the right place. Go beyond your comfort zone.
INTJs don’t have a lot of patience for themselves. One of the best ways to make space for others and be more patient with others is by being more patient with yourself.
Stop worrying about how you should be and be willing to fail and learn. Be the person who gets things done as opposed to conceptualizing things.
Push through the challenges. There will be waste, but action is better than non-action.
Feedback from the outside world will make you feel stronger and more empowered.
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86 comments
I am an INTJ currently going through some stress. Due to this stress I have become highly sensitive for external disturbance, especially sound. It drives me crazy, sometimes I wanna shout.
I listened to this podcast expecting to find strategies of coping with my inferior Se, hoping to get to know how and why it affects me the way it affects me. However, I was disappointed how little was said about the most ambiguous for the INTJ thing.
You spent vast majority of the time on Authenticity explanation, yet it was filled with repetitions and also it is not as alien to us as Se.
INTP/J (Fi/Fe and Ni/Ne struggle is real) here
BUT
I love animals. I cannot stand for a moment to watch animal torture. I’d sooner wipe out humanity than the rest of Earth’s fauna. So I guess that’s my INTJ showing huh ;P
Animal lovers unite!
Wow! Spot on podcast. Everything said resonated with me. I’ve been in the process of trying to figure myself out because I’m tired of the status quo I’ve been maintaining for too long. Recently took the M-B test and found that I’m an INTJ, to my relief it explained so much. As a result of my searching I came upon this website and will keep coming back because it’s reinforcing that I’m on the right track and very encouraging. Thank for putting this out there for all who want to understand not only themselves but the others around them also.
I’m a woman, i’m 37, INTJ and I’ve found about Meyrs-Briggs personality test last year.
I’ve found a lot of answers abut my personality that i never had the chance to understand and it has helped me since I took the first text. I took 5 so far from 3 diferent sites, and only one gave me InTP result.
Now, I understand INTJ personality doen’t mean that that person is the most inteligent. But It should mean hard worker and improved person in many campus.
I can’t understand how can I have this particular rare tipe of personality and not beeing a sucessfull person.
I have a lots of ideas every day, I think a lot about every thing and most the time I feel compeled to start projects, but its so rare to finish somenthing I’ve started especialy if it doents looks like the image I had in mind before. I’ts so rare to start anything also…
I feel I am a very lazzy person, some times I feel I’m worthless. And hey, I do have feelings. I think my main goal in life is to find tue and eternal love, but I fail a lot in relationships.
I dont know… is it possible to be a INTJ and have no interests in self improvement… for the last years my happiness is staying at home whatching movies or reaserch stupid things online and I feel sad cause I would like to work on my projects but I feel I’m blocked some how.
Never had told this before, thank you for reading it.
Hi Joel and Antonia,
I’ve been listening to your podcasts every day on my morning commute, and it’s been really impactful on my life. I’m a young Millenial INTJ and I’d like to provide some input into how I’ve metricized social situations. It started with the book SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully. https://www.superbetter.com It takes a goal (that may usually be considered abstract or unmeasurable) like socializing, and turns it into a game. Level 1 may be text someone you want to hear from, level 2 text someone who wants to hear from you, and level 3 text someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. This really appeals to my Effectiveness function while still compensating for my vulnerable Authenticity function. (The book has many other examples like Worst Case Scenario Bingo). I just wanted to thank you for delving into cognitive functions as much as you do, because I would have never sought to metricize emotions on my own. I’ve liked being able to make emotions measurable and into a concrete goal to systematically reach. Also, to other INTJs, I think the book I mentioned is a great resource to improve yourself, metricize Authenticity, and improve Effectiveness. (Side note: the whole Part 1 is interesting but not necessarily related to what I’ve mentioned).