Podcast - Episode 0226 - Why We Resist Developing The Co-Pilot In Our Personality

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• Car Model article
• Last week’s podcast on the Car Model
• Cognitive Function stack
• Introverted and Extraverted functions
• Learning (Perceiving) and decision-making (Judging) functions
• Driver/dominant function is our favorite
• Co-Pilot tends to be two dimensional because we do not explore it as thoroughly as our Driver
• Circumstances or careers may contribute to the development of the Co-Pilot
• We adopt strategies that work for us, and when we try something new – like developing the Co-Pilot – it may feel exhausting and pointless.
• We may choose to stick with the familiar.
• Stephen Covey’s Competency model:
  • Unconscious Incompetence
  • Conscious Incompetence
  • Conscious Competence
  • Unconscious Competence
• The only way out is through
• It is worth it to gain competence with our Co-Pilot, even if it is painful to begin with.
• Massive shifts may be on the horizon
• You may initially reject some of our suggestions for developing your Co-Pilot process
• Our Mind can resist growth if it fears the consequences that may come with that growth
• Development of the auxiliary function gets us to the life we want
• We may have created a synthetic life for ourselves up until now.
• The Co-Pilot is the opposite attitude of our Driver
• If your Driver is Extraverted, your Co-Pilot will be Introverted – and vice versa
• EJs – ESFJ, ESTJ, ENTJ, ENFJ
  • All lead with an Extraverted evaluative function, so their Co-Pilot is going to be Introverted perceiving
  • All EJs want to be in control. Managing the situation.
  • When EJs go into their Co-Pilot, they have to slow down and face a world they may not be able to control.
  • ESJs Co-Pilot is Introverted Sensing, which requires a longer timeline – the past
  • ENJs Co-Pilot is Introverted Intuition, which requires a longer timeline – the future
  • It requires calm, presence, and isolation.
  • EJs love closing loops
  • EFJs close loops with people
  • ETJs close loops with systems
  • Getting in touch with the inner world means walking away and not closing loops.
  • There may even be some legit healing work that needs to happen, so the inner world feels like a mess.
  • If there are inner issues, you may be closing loops that don’t resonate with you fundamentally.
  • Going inside helps you get on the right trajectory.
• EPs – ENFP, ESFP, ENTP, ESTP
  • All lead with an Extraverted perceiving process, so their Co-Pilot is going to be an Introverted judging process
  • EPs love speed and freedom
  • Slowing down for EPs prevents them from quickly pivoting, which feels like it is removing their freedom or identity
  • EPs may not know what their identity even is, so they go inside and have to start getting to know themselves.
  • Ethics and moral codes are often found within
  • It’s much better to have freedoms removed due to integrity than guilt
  • EJs and EPs must – Slow. Way. Down.
  • Sit with yourself. Journal. Meditate. Ruminate. Get present with yourself.
  • Be willing to sit with a lot of pain.
  • Learn the skill to work with your pain and build intimacy with yourself
  • It is worth it.
• IJs – INTJ, ISTJ, INFJ, ISFJ
  • All lead with an Introverted perceiving process, so their Co-Pilot is going to be an Extraverted judging process
  • When you lead with an Introverted perceiving process, you get to a place where you realize that the outer world is scary.
  • On some level, all info IJs pick up gets trapped inside – it’s an Introverted perceiving process.
  • All IJs know the outside world has dangers to it.
  • Sometimes they don’t get to decide what comes in unless they build some firm boundaries against it.
  • To explore the Extraverted world feels like a scary, vulnerable place to IJs.
  • Real world feedback can be scary.
  • IJs need to execute ideas in the outer world.
  • Through systems or relationships.
  • It’s like sticking your neck out because you don’t know the response you’re going to get.
  • There is a significant difference between conceptualizing impact on the world and actually impacting the world.
  • The more Introverts do Extraverted behaviors, the faster they get at processing the feedback.
  • You are going to fail. That’s part of learning.
  • IJs love to learn. It is very gratifying. But they are used to doing it in controlled environments.
  • The learning IJs do from getting into action has 10x the return.
  • The only way to get into harmony is by resolving conflict
  • If an ITJ is trying to build something they may have to start with breaking it.
  • The core fear of IJs is vulnerability
  • Test. Get feedback. Improve. Test again.
  • Get used to the process.
  • Become less vulnerable through skill building.
• IPs – INTP, INFP, ISTP, ISFP
  • All lead with an Introverted judging process, so their Co-Pilot is going to be an Extraverted perceiving process.
  • IPs know their core identity – what makes sense.
  • They enjoy comfort
  • Asking IPs to get into their Co-Pilot requires destabilizing action that may contradict how they see themselves and the world.
  • Avoiding their Co-Pilot allows the IP to keep their core identity protected.
  • Getting out into the world exposes the IP to criticism.
  • Identity level shifts are painful.
  • It can take a long time for IPs to revisit their identity.
  • The core fear is self-doubt
• Unless you have been lucky enough to be pushed into a life that favors your Co-Pilot, it is going to be hard to develop.
• Our Co-Pilot can help us focus on our passion, purpose, and mission
• We focus 80% of our content at PH on developing the Co-Pilot – the single most important part of our personality.
• You will be happier and have better relationships if you develop your Co-Pilot
• All of our cognitive functions are important and require some attention, but once you start focusing on the Co-Pilot everything else falls into place.
• You can’t develop your Co-Pilot enough

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