Podcast - Episode 0265 - Myers-Briggs Judging Function Idealism

31 comments

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  • Justine G
  • February 26, 2019 at 5:25 pm

  Thanks for your comments.

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  • Alex
  • February 25, 2019 at 1:14 am

  I don’t have any great insight about this, but this did happen recently…

  A Fi user friend told me that they worried about what someone thinks about their intention when they did something as simple as offer to do them a favor. The words had nothing to do with it- their meaning was plain. I’m a Ti user and I was confused about why this simple favor would cause her distress. She was assuming that the other person might be reading into the request in all sorts of different ways. I was of the assumption that someone would take her words at face value in such a simple situation, like I would have.

  This was a very simple situation, but I guess that generally MAYBE language is assumed to be the way to clarity for Ti…. and other factors like body language or invisible mind stuff that I don’t really understand play in more heavily with Fi. :)

  I kind of hear it when Joel’s voice gets softer and kinder sounding when he wants to clarify that “we aren’t trying to misrepresent anyone’s experience” and then Antonia get’s deeper, more direct, and goes off on a 10 paragraph essay.

  Certainly, when I feel I’ve been misunderstood (offended someone’s values, for example) my instinct is not try to patch the hole with a softer voice or body language…. it’s more like “more explanation” with a side dose of mimicking the empathetic vocal tone that I hear some other people use but which is a big learning curve for me right now. (That sounds really robotic or something but is like completely accurate… oh my)

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  • Gada
  • February 24, 2019 at 2:28 pm

  Question about this idea of INTJs being succinct…
  I am wondering if you have any insight into whether this tends to be a learned strategy.
  I am an INTJ who frequently comes up against other people feeling like I’m giving unnecessary information;so I really identified with antonia’s experience. More and more, I try to practice only giving the relevant information because otherwise I spend so much time being told I’m overthinking things.
  I think people can get really emotionally upset by the ways INTJs think about things and we get tired of being told that what we are noticing doesn’t exist. It’s more effective not to explain too much detail just because other people really hate to have to hear it.
  I actually find it quite hurtful when I feel I am being open with a person by sharing all the relevant information and reasoning and they tell me that my approach to thinking’s about it is “too complicated.” I can easily be succinct but for me it is almost a form of emotional guardedness. I wonder if this is a common experience?

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  • Justine G
  • February 23, 2019 at 4:39 pm

  Very Interesting as always, but I would like to pull up a couple of things that bother me:

  1) I don’t know whether this is your intention, but it often comes across to me as if anyone prefering Fi/Te (over Fe/Ti) inevitably couldn’t care less what others think about them. I have historically cared too much about what others think (though have improved somewhat), and relate more to the Fi/Te axis, just NOT about this particular point. I think the need for others to like and accept us goes WELL beyond type, and has a lot to do with self-acceptance vs insecurity.

  2) I am having trouble parsing out the difference between Ti and Fi in terms of perfectly transmitting data and ideas vs perfectly transmitting intent. You intend someone to understand what you are trying to say, thus your intent is for them to grasp whatever idea or information you have in your mind as if you were trying to photocopy it. I know there is intent behind the intent (i.e. motivation), but at either level there is intent. If the receiver gets it ‘wrong’ and as a consequence thinks you’re stupid or terrible, this is because they misread either ‘immediate’ intent or underlying intent.

  Fi probably cares more about ‘the intent behind the intent’ than Ti, and is probably less picky about being technically correct in word-choice, particularly as they are most aware that words are not fully up to the job anyway. I’ve known myself use words that I almost immediately realised I wasn’t even sure what they meant, but because they sounded like the right word and the person appeared to know what I meant = job done.

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  • Antonia Dodge
  • February 22, 2019 at 2:58 pm

  This back and forth is why IxFJ types often become such gracious communicators. It’s a skill developed over many grueling hours of inner dialog.

  A