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In this episode, Joel and Antonia go on a journey of discovery where they showcase the need for positively expressed Introverted Feeling in today’s world.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Introverted Feeling (Fi) – “Authenticity”
- Identity crisis – Fi struggles to know who they are
- Because of that, they recognize that people, in general, have the same struggle
- Fi sometimes resists the notion that it is okay to follow their core identity.
- Fi gets the message that it is selfish to pursue what feels right.
- Fi is very internal and subjective
- Not selfish so much as self-focused – the self is the guiding star for Fi
- A lot of the self is not acceptable to the outside world.
- “The more personal something is, the more universal it is.”
- The gift Fi gives is the ability to tune into core values and share the nuanced fidelity of human interactions and emotions.
- A coal miner for your heart
- Without Fi, you mistake one motivation for all motivations
- “This person voted for this candidate, which means they are this type of person.”
- No one ever has a single motivation.
- FPs end up in the arts because it explores the complexity of human motivations.
- People don’t know why they do what they do.
- Every public defender’s office is probably staffed with a lot of FPs because they see the need to defend the complexity of human emotion.
- No one is 100% pure evil like no one is 100% good.
- Good vs. bad is a social construct.
- Life-affirming things over life-negating things.
- “Doth Protest Too Much” when people are judgmental of other’s motivations.
- Every villain began as a victim.
- Civility is a thin veneer.
- The darkness is there, and it will come out eventually.
- What we resist persists.
- Fi uses emotions to find truths others would find offensive.
- It feels impossible to Fi to describe an incredibly complex emotion.
- Fi is better at demonstration than explanation, which is why they are usually artists in some way.
- Introverted Thinking (Ti) is better at explanation than demonstration
- Fi deals in narratives and stories and finds the truth inside the story.
- Motivations = gas in your car
- Core values = guard rails
- We are making up our reason for doing things all the time. We think they are legit, but they are arbitrary.
- Bullshit reasons = rationalizations
- We get what we want at the end of the day then we rationalize why it happened.
- Fi understands that we have stories for everything, but it doesn’t make them true.
- People don’t want to give up their victimhood.
- Something happens to us then we create stories to explain why it happened.
- Our stories are malleable. We can choose the more empowering one.
- Healthy Fi allows us to look at our narratives and ask ourselves if our stories are limiting us.
- When Fi isn’t healthy, it will take an event and paint it in an impenetrable, inarguable way.
- Because Fi is so good with stories, and it can’t make things happen in the outer world because Te is a weakness, so it tries to paint a picture to get the outcome it wants.
- Fi people often couch things in a way that isn’t completely accurate to get the result it wants.
- Stories/narratives are extremely powerful.
- Learn to spot the Disingenuous spin
- Spin your narratives in a way that makes you feel empowered.
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Narrative casting is a way to unlock a pathway forward to avoid getting stuck.
- Why do I care about this?
- What am I preserving?
- To what end?
- Drive down the motivation road. Keep asking why.
- Narrative casting is proactive.
- Diagnosis needs to come first.
- Fi is the most closely tied to ego/identity
- Every new way of experiencing things is an identity change.
- Narrative casting spins the story in an effort to protect the ego.
- “Be sure you’re right, then go ahead.” Davy Crockett
- Gain mastery over yourself first.
- We are all going to die alone.
- Who you start life with will be different from who we finish our lives with.
- You are the origination point for the decisions you make.
- You are sovereign.
- I’m the only one who gets to determine what I want to be.
- “Why does your selfishness of how you want to be trump my selfishness to be who I want to be?”
- Fi can go within and be incredibly self-reflective.
- “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron
- Shadow artist – no permission to be the artist you want to be so you hang around the edges of those who are doing what you won’t permit yourself to do.
- Roles are shadow artists to the true you.
- Your life is the character. You are the art.
- Don’t spin the narrative; become the narrative.
- People who are exceptional at Fi become the models that we all need.
- Fi sees the benefits of seeing people more kindly.
- Fi provides Kindness training – Kindness toward others and ourselves
- Fi can inspire others because it believes in people beyond reason or logic sometimes.
- Fi can create magic in the world because it can see the magic in the world.
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27 comments
Yes, having IF in my 3 yr old spot, I do get push back. Family members say “Why do you always have to play devil’s advocate?”. It’s because I want to understand what is really going on with others. So yes I am accused of excusing people even though I am not excusing behaviors. Yes, changes change identity constantly for my IF as an ENTJ. I have to keep allowing my identity to change, in career, relationships etc. A new job isn’t just a new job. Yes, people always tell me I am inspiring to them. Thank you for saying that that inspiration can be brought in-house to myself. Downside of IF is being brutally honest about what is going on for self and others — I find that relieving but not everyone around me always does. They often do later after the fact.
I’ve been helping people see the good things in themselves for a long time. It’s never bullshit. If I see it, I say it. I am still working on doing this for myself. I cracked up when Joel said, at the end, that he’d keep thinking of things he wished he said but he was in the flow at the time. I completely identify with that. Thanks for this one.