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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk with Jenn Granneman of IntrovertDear.com about introvert problems and some of the unique struggles they face.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- We live in the most over-communicated time period in history.
- There are challenges introverts face.
- Introverts are unready for conversations because they need to gather their thoughts first.
- Introverts need to get alone time and recharge after socializing for too long.
- Introvert, Dear – is a community and blog for introverts and highly sensitive people.
- What’s the science behind why introverts feel challenges? What are the challenges introverts are experiencing and what’s the science behind those challenges?
- Word retrieval. Happens when you’re looking for just the right word to communicate your thoughts. Introverts tend to use long-term memory and (using a longer pathway to their brain than extroverts do). Extroverts rely more on working memory (short-term memory).
- Give yourself permission to collect your thoughts, relax and try to make yourself feel as comfortable as you can (even let you mind wander in the moment).
- In general, Introverts don’t feel understood by the people around them. There’s a real need for introverts to be understood.
- A lot of Introverts carry an emotional baggage.
- Alone time for introverts – how helpful and necessary is alone time for introverts? Alone time gives introverts the energy to face the outside again.
- Getting enough extraverted time – Have a good balance of alone time and extraverted time, making sure that you don’t shut yourself away from the outside world.
- Take ownership of your needs. Set proper expectations with the people who you know.
- It may be challenging especially if there are a lot of people who rely on your presence but remember that before you can help other, you need to help yourself first and attend to your needs.
- All introverts need something slightly different. The more resistance you get from the outside world, the more you need to fight for your right to do that.
- Checkout out Introvert, Dear’s Facebook group and website.
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32 comments
Thanks for your comment, Esther! The prompt response time of IxxPs over IxxJs may be due to the fact that IPs all lead with a decision-making process (Fi or Ti) while IJs lead with a learning process (Ni or Si). Decision-making will often appear faster than learning.
Michelle – It is very possible that is more Ni than Fe. The difference being that I want to make sure my words are being understood and not offending my listener, and Te users are trying to make sure the conversation is reaching the desired conclusion.
I totally agree with your observation that it is like a sense is missing.
Thanks for pointing out this distinction. Come to think of it, my INTJ husband doesn’t talk on the phone very much either. :)
Thank you, Emma. I love Susan Cain’s The power of introverts TED Talk…
http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts?language=en#t-671113
I am sooo glad this topic called up. It rings so true to me :-) It’s important for me to ‘see’ how much a person really wants to know as I’m typically asked technical questions. If they appear enthusiastic and seem somewhat studied, I can go on and on. But if the reverse is true, I don’t want to overwhelm them or get too bogged down in the basics and it’s very difficult to get those cues quickly over the phone. Oh, and I do love talking with my hands. Now I also admit that a phone conversation with someone that asks good questions or really listens to my concerns and seems a half to a full step ahead are very exciting.
I really appreciate this thread as so many of my, especially ESFP, friends don’t ‘get’ why I seldom (and I mean really seldom) ever call. Perhaps oddly, one of my INFP friends is truly a minimalist in any conversation though she can become quite loud when she’s ready to be heard. So I think we’re all a diverse cognitive blend even within our type and our upbringing environment may play a big part in this.
INTJ here. I wonder whether the lack of nonverbal cues is actually short-circuiting Ni (the perceiving function) rather than Fe. I don’t use Fe but also hate speaking on the phone for the exact same reason as Charis. In face to face conversations I am constantly monitoring my conversation partner’s body language and adjusting my responses accordingly. I do this in order to achieve whatever end-goal I have in mind for a given conversation. I guess Fe users would do this primarily to meet the needs of those they are talking to. Communication tends to be so much more efficient if you keep your finger on the pulse of the interaction in order to ensure it’s heading in the right direction, but that’s not as easy to do over the phone- I literally feel like I am missing a sense. It’s, kind of like missing every other word of the other person’s responses and having to blindly guess to fill in the gaps.