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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk with Jenn Granneman of IntrovertDear.com about introvert problems and some of the unique struggles they face.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- We live in the most over-communicated time period in history.
- There are challenges introverts face.
- Introverts are unready for conversations because they need to gather their thoughts first.
- Introverts need to get alone time and recharge after socializing for too long.
- Introvert, Dear – is a community and blog for introverts and highly sensitive people.
- What’s the science behind why introverts feel challenges? What are the challenges introverts are experiencing and what’s the science behind those challenges?
- Word retrieval. Happens when you’re looking for just the right word to communicate your thoughts. Introverts tend to use long-term memory and (using a longer pathway to their brain than extroverts do). Extroverts rely more on working memory (short-term memory).
- Give yourself permission to collect your thoughts, relax and try to make yourself feel as comfortable as you can (even let you mind wander in the moment).
- In general, Introverts don’t feel understood by the people around them. There’s a real need for introverts to be understood.
- A lot of Introverts carry an emotional baggage.
- Alone time for introverts – how helpful and necessary is alone time for introverts? Alone time gives introverts the energy to face the outside again.
- Getting enough extraverted time – Have a good balance of alone time and extraverted time, making sure that you don’t shut yourself away from the outside world.
- Take ownership of your needs. Set proper expectations with the people who you know.
- It may be challenging especially if there are a lot of people who rely on your presence but remember that before you can help other, you need to help yourself first and attend to your needs.
- All introverts need something slightly different. The more resistance you get from the outside world, the more you need to fight for your right to do that.
- Checkout out Introvert, Dear’s Facebook group and website.
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32 comments
Arabella, I’m an INFP and I for sure act that way! And one interesting thing that I thought of while reading your comment is that even when I’m in a situation where I’m chattering away without hesitating to think, I tend to pay more attention to my own reactions than that of the person I’m speaking to. It’s almost like I’m really talking to myself, and then toggling into listening mode when I’m done speaking. I’m still pretty new to Myers-Briggs, so I’m not sure how that sits with the cognitive functions, but it does seem to reframe the behavior as a more introverted one.
Thanks for yet another deep dive into our cognitive and thus behavioral differences. I particularly enjoyed the neurological/neurotransmitter variants in extroverts and introverts. Because this introvert can sometimes turn extrovert and talk a mile a minute when someone asks a question about something I’m interested and knowledgeable in.
But after much time spent studying a wide range of new information (I can’t stop studying and I’ve been out of college for decades), my brain and Intuition need tranquil time to process the data and store the results of that process. Interruptions are difficult while that cognitive operation takes place. Small talk and brain picking are particularly disrupting and sometimes puts me into flash-frustration.
However, learning to demand my space in a firm yet kind way before frustration rules has helped immensely. So has wearing T-shirts served that say things like ‘It’s Funny How You Think I’m Listening’ or ‘Despite The Look On My Face, You’re Still Talking.’ Then all I have to do is point at the T and thankfully often get a laugh … a laugh accompanied by that shorter nattering session I so need. No offense intended :-)
Thanks for the feedback, Meredith! We love hearing from listeners like you. :)
Hi Joel and Antonia!
I listen to all of your podcasts.
They are great.
Wow! The things I could
learn from the two of you!
Really, thank you for putting
It out here for me and to enjoy!
I did not discover that I was an INFP until my late 20’s (I am now 32) Initially I tested as an ESFP! Some things resonated with me but I felt it only described the pieces of myself that I show to the world and not the person I am at my core. I’ve worn the gregarious fun lover mask my whole life to cope with my inner conflict of never truely being known. Thanks to Antonia and Joel I’ve learned that I am excellent at what they term blending. A very good friend who intitially and most strenuously tried to convince me that I was in fact an ESFP later read Kersey’s description of the INFP in Please Understand Me II and promptly recanted her previous assumption. When I read the description I cried… This begs the question: “Why the crap did I test as and extrovert?!?!” I developed a voracious appetite for all things typology related. Everything that I have read and my own personal experiences watching my cognitive functions play out in real time makes me agree wholeheartedly. Anything that fleets my Ne fancy I can expound on fluidly for-e-ver… And when I feel backed into a corner and my Te claws are forced to come out and protect me I can be very forcefully argumentative. BUT if I am called on to supply some sort of proof from past experience (Si) that what I feel is right (Fi) is in fact valid….sometimes I freeze up like a deer in headlights. I need to to formulate my response because these are deeply personal things to put out into the universe. So I’d definitely definitely definitely say that which cognitive funtions one extroverts have a bearing on how “extroverted” one appears to the untrained eye.