Podcast - Episode 0244 - Making Peace With Your Parents (Part 2)

46 comments

• 

  • Nigel Barrie Corbett
  • September 28, 2018 at 10:37 am

  Hi A&J,
  I’m struck by the absolute sadness of your story.
  I think in your situation, I would be left with a huge feeling of anger at the Church. A god that would let this happen between parents and a child is not so godlike. I would like to know if you feel / felt that anger. If you didn’t I would like to know how? If you did / do, I would like to know what you’re doing with that?
  You guys are awesome. Thanks,

  Nigel

• 

  • Angel
  • September 28, 2018 at 4:59 am

  Hi. Ive been wanting to reach out to you both for a long time to express my appreciation for your work. Ive listened to every podcast you’ve put out, some more than once, but I was so grateful for the honesty and authenticity among hearing these last two episodes that today had to be the day to express my gratitude. This was such a deep personal situation, and I thank you for having the courage to share your vulnerability in such a graceful way.

  The perspective I saw might be influenced by factors in my own life, but it almost seemed like your dad couldn’t bear to hear about a different life he could have had. The struggle between wanting to hear your story and have his daughter do well would conflict with making the right choice to stay in the religion. Anything about you outside his internal narrative would have disrupted the peace he had to make with the decision to stay.

  The fact that you could see this situation from their perspective with such empathy and understanding is a beautiful thing to hear. Your personal growth work and emotional maturity really shows here – the yellow perspective, acceptance regardless of outcome, lack of judgement, the integrity and respect you showed, the self care administered, and the peace that followed. (On a side note, hearing you talk about connecting your emotions to television was very interesting). And it’s so great to hear about the support you and Joel both have for each other.

  I wasn’t intending to talk about myself, but I just wanted to let you know how your podcast has helped me. I was in a very difficult environment for my emotional health over the last few years and I found so much relief listening to you. I was diagnosed with PTSD, which causes a total disconnect with your identity. I had to question everything because my beliefs and opinions did not come naturally anymore. Understanding that I was an INFP was a huge sense of relief, as the descriptions and functions really resonated with me. I still knew the truth when I heard it. Listening to your podcast help me accept that I think differently than most people and that’s ok. Im a peculiar breed well outside of societal norms, and I now had permission to be authentic and explore the parts of me that make me unique. Authenticity has been my focus this year. You’ve been instrumental in my recovery, and understanding the way others think has helped me to connect with people in a more meaningful way. I’m now fully committed to the rabbit hole of personal growth and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for your insight, wisdom, humor, and vulnerability.

• 

  • Rachael
  • September 25, 2018 at 6:04 am

  Please excuse grammar flases it was hard enough to cut to the chase of so many thoughts and appreciations.

• 

  • Liz Cortes
  • September 25, 2018 at 9:34 pm

  Thanks for sharing these past 2 raw podcasts Antonia and Joel way to go for being such a supportive husband! It’s so tough when the other side is hearing you all wrong or getting defensive when you are coming from a place of thankfulness and wanting to clear the air. Way to go for reaching out and trying to have that conversation with your parents then saying ok when they wanted to fully break communication. I’ve tried having real deep chats with my dad ever since I did the Landmark Forum 13 years ago and since getting married 7 years ago I’d make myself to call him each month to be a “good daughter” and inspire my 3 sisters to not give up on him even though his words would trigger me so much and I’d get off the phone crying most of the time. Then back in March my husband and I decided we needed to have a no communication boundary for a month then it’s turned into 6 months. I’ve thought so much about what I’d like to say but never write it or go see him because I remember all those times I tried but it totally wasn’t received and totally back fired. So I’m like why bother. But I’m encouraged by your determination and dropping the expectations fo the outcome.

• 

  • Kimberly Cook
  • September 28, 2018 at 12:28 am

  As several have said already, thank you to you both. This was very raw and vulnerable in a public forum, and that take “guts, cajones, courage,” whatever you label it. You are true mentors, leaders and virtual friends even to those of us you don’t realize you have connected with – sounding boards more often than is recognized. Labeled an ENFJ with enneagram self preservation 3 with a 2 wing I have a tendency to discount and bury my true feelings. I dont want to feel them, especially the negative ones. Your naked honesty gives me the courage to let my feelings flag fly despite how it might be percieved.

  Here’s a piece of raw truth for you (meant to make you smile): within an ENFJ ESTP relationship “Jesus Christ (excuse my colloquial French) if my BF could be half as interested or understanding relating to the things that are meaningful to me as Joel is (ie interpersonal shit, patterns, and feelings) I would…I dont know what.” Antonia, that’s not to discount you. In fact, you are one badass woman I look up to for your ability to keep it real. You two are a great match for each other at this time. You’re an example of things to work toward. You’re real, and most of us really appreciate that. Again, thank you.