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In this episode, Joel and Antonia draw out personal lessons they learned by putting together the Empowered: INFPs and INFJs.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Empowered: INFPs and INFJs
- Interview series – 6 high performing INs
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Top 10 challenges INFs report:
- Finding purpose
- Establishing boundaries
- Overcoming indecision
- Feeling judged
- Simultaneously desiring and fearing intimacy
- Time management
- Lacking assertiveness
- Lacking motivation
- Anxiety
- Making money
- Core emotion to all interviews was anger
- Anger tied to permission
- “Anger helped me give myself permission to create the boundaries to confront the people, set up the circumstances, achieve the goals, etc.”
- Sadness often under-pins the anger.
- But sadness isn’t as motivating as anger.
- Anger is the catalyst
- Anger can help us defend ourselves.
- “Anger is just energy. Once you recognize that, you can use it to put you on your path.”
- All emotions serve us in some capacity.
- Understand why it’s there, what it needs, and how you can use it.
- “Forgiveness is a process that begins with anger.”
- Anger is how you can find yourself on the map.
- Anger is closer to a tool than a weapon.
- It has some legitimate applications.
- Anger is the one time when some people shut off the perpetual deference to other’s interests and start expressing their own.
- Nobody should stay in anger. It is a tool for a short time.
- Each council member found patience and forgiveness for themselves.
- When it comes to spiritual/soul hygiene, there is one thing that never changes: eat your vegetables.
- Vegetables: Presence work. Mindfulness.
- Don’t let the world rush you. Be patient. Trust yourself.
- Be present with you.
- Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
- Presence gives you the ability to let go of energy-hogging experiences like self-criticism and perfectionism.
- Dharma: Purpose
- Presence cuts you slack in some ways and not at all in other ways if it applies to your purpose.
- You don’t roll over and give up.
- The voice inside that beats you up when you aren’t doing what you’re supposed to.
- Self-discipline vs. self-criticism
- Annie Lalla talks about creating a life that will attract the love of your life.
- It’s premature to have love until you have self-love.
- “Never make the past wrong.”
- Stop beating yourself up for past sins.
- Find joy in the little things.
- See these things as expressions of love from strangers.
- Every time someone does something for you, see it as a loving expression
- Focus on the positive things.
- Don’t focus on the negative things that happen to you.
- Even arguing with your loved one can be an expression of love if it is for the benefit of the relationship.
- Amplify the small beautiful things.
- Fall in love with your life!
- Who am I to be living this amazing life? I must be a fantastic person!
- If you love life and love yourself you will become magnetic to others with the same vibration.
- Magnify the mundane.
- Betsy Garmon (INFJ) “Self-care is about self-knowledge.”
- Know yourself and become intimate with your boundaries and needs.
- Boundary setting is self-care.
- Daniel Karan: Self-care is about the emergent.
- If Daniel has something he doesn’t want to do, he knows when he has done proper self-care because he has the resources to do it anyway.
- Plenty of sleep, nutrient-dense foods, getting to the gym, getting plenty of expressions of his love language, massage, etc.
- Introspection. Understanding the things you need.
- Give yourself quarter by preparing for the world and caring for your needs.
- What have I been ignoring in my life? Sleep? Water? Exercise?
- INFs have redefined self-care for themselves.
- Daniel Karan talked about the importance of trusting yourself.
- “Why would we not trust ourselves?
- We use the same criteria to trust ourselves as we do a friend or family member.
- How long would you trust someone who lies or isn’t reliable?
- We promise ourselves all sorts of things , then we don’t come through. “I’m going to get in shape.”
- “I’m going to eat better.”
- “I’m going to spend more time with someone.”
- We disappoint ourselves, so we don’t trust ourselves.
- If you are feeling a lack of trust for yourself, what minuscule things are you doing to undermine that trust?
- It’s about your relationship with yourself.
- If you find a high performer, ask them a few questions about the things they’ve learned in their life.
- Not everybody’s journey is one of insight and paradigm shifts, so make sure they’re high performers.
- Become the best version of yourself.
- What have you learned from people who are a different type?
- Empowered: INFPs and INFJs
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24 comments
Yes, thank you!
Honestly did not watch this particular episode, however, I feel that you Joel Mark Witt may be this type. It is is an inspirational type. Way more inspiration than letting onto. Yes, in a weird, varied way, that they don’t let onto. Joel you are an in my opinion, not that that means anything due to my input, lmao! But the way I have come to define it (through many hours of therapy) is your world is internally defined vs. external. My sister (ENFJ) said, “I am Surprised that you are an introvert” My reply was what extrovert spends so much time on a trampoline that they wear through five of them by themselves? At that point she knew yes, I am not an extrovert, but I lean toward the introverted self. I sometimes wish I was so extroverted. The world I make up is far more interesting
I am an INFJ and I had that moment where it just clicked in my head and the entire concept was there. I want to share this because it’s so powerful to me. We tend to pick up people’s Emotion=energy all the time. That means basically other people change our energy or even give us energy. If we can transform that into something we can use, it becomes the opposite of what we suffer from. Do not let that energy go! Pick it up, acknowledge it, analyze it, transform it, use it. We INFJs especially need to learn that, because our energy changes all the time and we are not in charge of that until we are. So handling that energy and redirecting it is the biggest challenge and hidden talent of an INFJ. That can be done only when our Harmony process is developed and trained to do exactly that: Channelling emotional energy and use it to interact with our environment. In other words, serve the needs of our environment and yes, that includes our own needs, by giving it back. We are already good at shifting energy, because we have no choice but to do it all day. But that needs development. In order to know where the energy is needed and how, we just use our Ni. That makes us happy and gives us energy. So instead of having us being the trash can for emotional waste, why don’t we use, and make it a constant circle of giving positive energy. And that’s what we are wired to do, creating win-wins. In case an INTP finds a problem with my theory, sorry my accuracy is off sometimes. In case what i just said is exactly what the rest of podcast is about, sorry it’s hard to surprise an INFJ with insight after you give him a hint and his Ni starts to run with it. LOL
This is insightful and eye-opening. Thank you! – infp
This is exactly what I’ve been looking for! I have been trying to grow my co-pilot by developing boundaries and connecting with others. It has unfortunately been a very slow process. I’ve been trying to gain traction, but I couldn’t figure out how. I also knew there was something I wanted for myself, but couldn’t define what it was. Every piece of advice in this podcast was useful, but the part about learning to be present and falling in love with your life was game changing. This is what I’ve been looking for! I am implementing these strategies immediately and taking part INFX Empowered as soon as possible.
Thank you so much for the work you do and helping others grow and understand themselves. You guys are a blessing and I appreciate you so much!
I do have a question though… Isn’t mindfulness/presence work pretty much the same thing as developing extroverted sensing? I am an INFJ and Se is my three year old. How can putting so much energy and investment into something so low in my stack be beneficial? I thought Fe was the way to go? Please let me know if there is something I’m not understanding about this.