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In this episode, Joel and Antonia draw out personal lessons they learned by putting together the Empowered: INFPs and INFJs.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Empowered: INFPs and INFJs
  • Interview series – 6 high performing INs
  • Top 10 challenges INFs report:
    • Finding purpose
    • Establishing boundaries
    • Overcoming indecision
    • Feeling judged
    • Simultaneously desiring and fearing intimacy
    • Time management
    • Lacking assertiveness
    • Lacking motivation
    • Anxiety
    • Making money
  • Core emotion to all interviews was anger
  • Anger tied to permission
  • “Anger helped me give myself permission to create the boundaries to confront the people, set up the circumstances, achieve the goals, etc.”
  • Sadness often under-pins the anger.
  • But sadness isn’t as motivating as anger.
  • Anger is the catalyst
  • Anger can help us defend ourselves.
  • “Anger is just energy. Once you recognize that, you can use it to put you on your path.”
  • All emotions serve us in some capacity.
  • Understand why it’s there, what it needs, and how you can use it.
  • “Forgiveness is a process that begins with anger.”
  • Anger is how you can find yourself on the map.
  • Anger is closer to a tool than a weapon.
  • It has some legitimate applications.
  • Anger is the one time when some people shut off the perpetual deference to other’s interests and start expressing their own.
  • Nobody should stay in anger. It is a tool for a short time.
  • Each council member found patience and forgiveness for themselves.
  • When it comes to spiritual/soul hygiene, there is one thing that never changes: eat your vegetables.
  • Vegetables: Presence work. Mindfulness.
  • Don’t let the world rush you. Be patient. Trust yourself.
  • Be present with you.
  • Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
  • Presence gives you the ability to let go of energy-hogging experiences like self-criticism and perfectionism.
  • Dharma: Purpose
  • Presence cuts you slack in some ways and not at all in other ways if it applies to your purpose.
  • You don’t roll over and give up.
  • The voice inside that beats you up when you aren’t doing what you’re supposed to.
  • Self-discipline vs. self-criticism
  • Annie Lalla talks about creating a life that will attract the love of your life.
  • It’s premature to have love until you have self-love.
  • “Never make the past wrong.”
  • Stop beating yourself up for past sins.
  • Find joy in the little things.
  • See these things as expressions of love from strangers.
  • Every time someone does something for you, see it as a loving expression
  • Focus on the positive things.
  • Don’t focus on the negative things that happen to you.
  • Even arguing with your loved one can be an expression of love if it is for the benefit of the relationship.
  • Amplify the small beautiful things.
  • Fall in love with your life!
  • Who am I to be living this amazing life? I must be a fantastic person!
  • If you love life and love yourself you will become magnetic to others with the same vibration.
  • Magnify the mundane.
  • Betsy Garmon (INFJ) “Self-care is about self-knowledge.”
  • Know yourself and become intimate with your boundaries and needs.
  • Boundary setting is self-care.
  • Daniel Karan: Self-care is about the emergent.
  • If Daniel has something he doesn’t want to do, he knows when he has done proper self-care because he has the resources to do it anyway.
  • Plenty of sleep, nutrient-dense foods, getting to the gym, getting plenty of expressions of his love language, massage, etc.
  • Introspection. Understanding the things you need.
  • Give yourself quarter by preparing for the world and caring for your needs.
  • What have I been ignoring in my life? Sleep? Water? Exercise?
  • INFs have redefined self-care for themselves.
  • Daniel Karan talked about the importance of trusting yourself.
  • “Why would we not trust ourselves?
  • We use the same criteria to trust ourselves as we do a friend or family member.
  • How long would you trust someone who lies or isn’t reliable?
  • We promise ourselves all sorts of things , then we don’t come through. “I’m going to get in shape.”
  • “I’m going to eat better.”
  • “I’m going to spend more time with someone.”
  • We disappoint ourselves, so we don’t trust ourselves.
  • If you are feeling a lack of trust for yourself, what minuscule things are you doing to undermine that trust?
  • It’s about your relationship with yourself.
  • If you find a high performer, ask them a few questions about the things they’ve learned in their life.
  • Not everybody’s journey is one of insight and paradigm shifts, so make sure they’re high performers.
  • Become the best version of yourself.
  • What have you learned from people who are a different type?
  • Empowered: INFPs and INFJs

In this episode Joel and Antonia draw out personal lessons they learned by putting together the INFx Empowered program for INFPs and INFJs. #INFJ #INFP

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24 comments

  • Laurita
    • Laurita
    • November 6, 2019 at 12:52 am

    This is excellent! Loved the info about not going back to the time machine and beating yourself up for mistakes! So good ??

  • Amanda
    • Amanda
    • November 6, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    I’m sure this episode is helpful for some people, but most of this episode, for me at least, was like, “well yeah”. I sometimes forget that others have such a narrow view of self-care (I’m a counselor, so I guess that makes sense). The anger bit was interesting though, but not necessarily surprising. -INFP

  • Julie
    • Julie
    • November 5, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    Oh my gosh. I was casually listening while puttering when you stated the underpinning core emotion and I stopped moving. My mouth dropped open and I moved towards the speaker and was riveted. As an INFP, I identify with this very well. Thank you for this episode that has come up at, of course, the perfect time in my life. I’m working towards your INFx Empowered program!

  • Elle
    • Elle
    • November 5, 2019 at 5:34 pm

    Wow! If I could only give this a million stars and just as many likes! I’m an infj and although happy to finally know my type… as of September 2019…this is the first time I have felt that a video/audio really gave me useful and specific strategies to balance myself. I couldn’t figure out what to do next. I had a greater awareness of myself through mbti and knew that I wasn’t just a strange bird out here alone in the world lol. But what do I do about those weak points, the things that make me feel like I’m living less than a peaceful and amazing life? This podcast begins to answer those questions for me. I have direction now because of this podcast. I just feel so empowered! Like I’m about to really live on purpose! Thanks so much ~INFJ

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