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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the unique social challenges facing NT women personality types (INTJ – INTP – ENTP – ENTJ).

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • The common thread between the INTJ, INTP, ENTP and ENTJ female types.
  • Your double hit of being Intuitive and a Thinker as a woman.
  • What are common challenges NT women deal with?
  • Why are their challenges not talked about much?
  • Why you are under-represented as an NT woman.
  • What do you do when you don’t show up according to societal expectations?
  • The overtime NT women put in trying to meet others where they are at.
  • Why do NT women keep facing exhaustion and social failure?
  • How much energy do you use trying to be more feminine?
  • How being told “you’re the problem” affects NT women.
  • Why is sisterhood so valued by you, yet often elusive?
  • The blending mask that NT women wear.
  • What happens when that mask comes off?
  • The damaging strategy cycles NT women go through.
    • The ENTP woman’s strategies to alleviate offense.
    • Why an ENTJ woman diminishes her strong energy.
    • The ego hits INTJ and INTP women take from fitting in.
  • Why you feel so alone in your female NT challenges.
  • How you feel unstoppable inside yet self-diminish socially.
  • Why the NT woman’s cure is worse than the disease.
  • Overidentifying with your wiring and the drama triangle.
  • How do you navigate through your wounds?
  • Becoming a bridge through your masculine and feminine energy.
  • How you come off in your emotional and thought labor.
  • How can camaraderie help you?
  • Ways you can grow as an NT woman.

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We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…


  • Karmin
    • Karmin
    • January 14, 2024 at 2:45 pm

    I am an ENTJ woman and 98% of my friends are Feeling. Antonia, when you spoke about withholding part of yourself for the sake of others I do that so often.
    I have wondered why I don’t test out as introverted, now I know that what drains me isn’t people, it’s constantly meeting a majority of others in their place (as they are most often feelers—or expect me to be so) so I feel as though I must withhold much of myself in order to not have to deal with the additional emotions of hurt feelings or offense if I say something others don’t understand, or don’t understand where I’m coming from or my intentions. This podcast helped me understand so much about myself and others

  • Diane Heather
    • Diane Heather
    • November 14, 2022 at 8:16 am

    Well, as a 70 year old INTJ female, I have spent most of my life feeling out of place and being told “You think too much” If I hear that now I reply “No, most people don’t think enough”. Even worse is being single and no children…in general a threat. Too clever by half, too independent and strange. People ask me if I have children and when I say no it is a real conversation killer.
    Frankly most people bore me stiff, trying to have an intelligent conversation is difficult when the world’s commonest disease is stupidity. To me, the average intelligence of 100 is actually not very bright.
    I still work part-time as the social exclusion for NT women seems to get worse with age: with no children or grandc hildren to mind or talk about to others the retirement options offered are voluntary work in a charity shop or at an animal shelter ( good for an SF). So I am carving my own retirement: voluntary work at a heritage site that fosters the arts, learning Italian, dancing and keeping fit plus HEAPS of reading ( non-fiction thanks, novels are not interesting).
    My advice to younger NT women: be who you are fearlessly, but yes do learn to discrimninate in terms of choosing your friends carefully, and be kind to everybody.

  • V
    • V
    • November 14, 2022 at 3:17 am

    This particular super-niche podcast had me fist-pumping a couple times saying “YES! THIS!” and giving me the validation I didn’t realize was missing (for others, obviously, too!).

    My chosen career path is heavily male, and I’m often asked (because I don’t have a male business partner) what it’s like, I’m always confounded. (As in, “anyone can do this, it’s right here, just do it?”). With a lot of other things, come to find out, I never understood why people DON’T think/act/choose differently, and it can be quite isolating until/unless you find those “unsafe spaces” she mentions to be really open on what makes you tick.

    But the majority of the time, yes, you are leaning into and learning HOW DO I MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE AND MYSELF MORE LIKEABLE….like she said, it’s like everyone else got the memo on How to Be a Normal Human and you’re out here like a fresh alien learning the nuances of how these fleshy earthlings operate.

    That all in mind, I do believe once you embrace your perspectives, practice your soft skills and train your leadership capabilities, it gives you a better platform to shine. Although I do really enjoy building an online presence for business, people can still never believe how introverted I really am (thank you, emotional labor), so it definitely is a dance to navigate your way into a space where you can thrive as a INTJ woman. Keep going though, ladies; I think our balance can be really helpful in a lot of ways.

  • G
    • G
    • October 3, 2022 at 5:15 pm

    As an entp girl growing up in all-girls school I felt that
    I was lucky to find my intp and entj girls and that’s change my life.
    Things got complicated again when i was in college with most of sf girl gang that made me mistyped as infj for a while
    Now I’m back on my feet by stay true to myself. The one who cares about you will understand and stay

  • Shelby
    • Shelby
    • August 4, 2022 at 12:38 pm

    I just listened to this podcast in the car. For years I had been typed as INFP, but recently (after quite obsessive analysis because the real life application/ data didn’t add up) have come to understand I am an INTP. This episode moved me to tears (not always easy to do!) because for the first time I feel seen. I really resonate with the experience of putting myself down constantly so that I am not seen as a threat. And because I grew up in the south, and have travelled the world, I really leaned into this “feminine” space and more importantly was valued for it for years but it came at a huge cost to me mentally and emotionally (inferior Fe getting all stompy and resentful) . And every time I showed up authentically people found me really unpalatable. I really am seen as arrogant and not tactful. I have always put myself down to other women and they attached (usually quite emotionally) to that truth that I’m the wrong one and the villain . Where as in my head I always thought we were all coming from a place of mutual understanding, like isn’t everyone shitty in their own way (AND WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE EMOTIONAL!?). It’s really refreshing to understand my struggles aren’t because im broken but because of this unintentional cross woundings.

    My best friend is an NT woman and it has been such a relief in my life to have (only) one person who I can be my 100% self, the real, the ugly and all the magnificent. I am finding more areas/social circles to be closer to myself where I can express this desire to excel without ridicule. But until then, it’s nice to know I’m not alone in the struggle and experience of social blending.

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