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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the unique social challenges facing NT women personality types (INTJ – INTP – ENTP – ENTJ).

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • The common thread between the INTJ, INTP, ENTP and ENTJ female types.
  • Your double hit of being Intuitive and a Thinker as a woman.
  • What are common challenges NT women deal with?
  • Why are their challenges not talked about much?
  • Why you are under-represented as an NT woman.
  • What do you do when you don’t show up according to societal expectations?
  • The overtime NT women put in trying to meet others where they are at.
  • Why do NT women keep facing exhaustion and social failure?
  • How much energy do you use trying to be more feminine?
  • How being told “you’re the problem” affects NT women.
  • Why is sisterhood so valued by you, yet often elusive?
  • The blending mask that NT women wear.
  • What happens when that mask comes off?
  • The damaging strategy cycles NT women go through.
    • The ENTP woman’s strategies to alleviate offense.
    • Why an ENTJ woman diminishes her strong energy.
    • The ego hits INTJ and INTP women take from fitting in.
  • Why you feel so alone in your female NT challenges.
  • How you feel unstoppable inside yet self-diminish socially.
  • Why the NT woman’s cure is worse than the disease.
  • Overidentifying with your wiring and the drama triangle.
  • How do you navigate through your wounds?
  • Becoming a bridge through your masculine and feminine energy.
  • How you come off in your emotional and thought labor.
  • How can camaraderie help you?
  • Ways you can grow as an NT woman.

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42 comments

  • Patricia
    • Patricia
    • May 2, 2022 at 3:48 am

    As an ENTP woman, I am very grateful to have validation for many of the experiences and feelings I have had. I totally relate to meeting people where “they are.” I also relate to feeling like I cannot be my authentic self in many settings. I work so hard to make others feel comfortable and often do not share what I know because it would be disruptive.

  • Amy
    • Amy
    • July 9, 2021 at 5:59 pm

    OMFG, thank you SO MUCH for this podcast (and the following one)! You totally nailed me. For years I have tested as an INFJ. Parts of that type description fit, but much didn’t. I just assumed I was a mediocre specimen who needed lots of work developing her auxiliary Fe. In a recent typing session with Klaus, I learned I’m actually an ENTJ. And after listening to this podcast, I have much more insight into why I mistyped for so long (I’m 52).

    I grew up with a co-dependent ESFJ mother with vast emotional needs that were not being met by my alcoholic INTP father. So she turned to me for support, and I dredged up whatever slivers of Fe I could find in my efforts to bandage her wounds. (I think Te and Ni, working together, can actually create a reasonable facsimile of Fe if the situation demands it.) Plus, I grew up in the deep South, where girls were expected to be sweet, kind feelers—-a world I could never conquer. Doing feeling work is so draining that I assumed I was an introvert. If the choice is being alone or taking care of other people’s emotional needs, I’d often rather be alone. Anyway, the recent revelation that I’m an ENTJ is SO EXCITING! I don’t have to handle everyone’s feelings, or care about scrapbooking, or pretend to love toddlers. I definitely have a lot of personal growth work to do, but now it feels energizing rather than enervating.

    Thank you a thousand times for this fantastic podcast. Listening to it felt like healing.

  • Amanda | ENTP
    • Amanda | ENTP
    • April 19, 2021 at 3:51 am

    I think that’s what Antonia meant! And of course we pay a price for refusing to softly slide into the victim role, whether we are conscious of doing it or not. Meanwhile we are harder on ourselves than anyone else (as I have been told many times). We may not “play” the victim well, but we victimize ourselves through the self-deprecating and self-censoring behaviors – I won’t say “strategies” – that Antonia mentioned.

  • Amanda | ENTP
    • Amanda | ENTP
    • April 19, 2021 at 3:45 am

    “Terrible victims” means we refuse to fulfill the role of victim in someone else’s dramatic triangle – an NT woman will not play the damsel in distress so that someone else can feel like a hero.

  • Lina
    • Lina
    • February 19, 2021 at 11:22 am

    Hi! ENTP woman here.. I listened to this podcast and my mind had a little mental cry, because I have never felt SO understood by another woman. It reminded me of problems I have/had with my sorority sisters. When I went to college, I wasn’t yet into the personality typing stuff, so I didn’t know what it was. But I started studying Chemistry and Chemical Engineering, and was one of the few women there, and had a GREAT connection with all the men (later we did some personality typing together and actually most of them turned out to be INTP/ENTP, so we really found each other, lol!). However, I am quite a girly girl with my hobbies, I love makeup, clothes, dresses, jewelry and stuff like that, so I was missing some female connection and people that I could talk with about these girly things. I decided to go join a sorority, so in the pledging period, there were a lot of girly things with a girly dresscode, like cocktail nights, karaoke competitions, wine tastings.. But also some fun stuff like lasergaming and bar games like pool and darts. So I thought, this will be perfect! I will have a quite girly sorority, but also I still have my male friends from my study. However, after a short while, I already felt disconnected sometimes to my sorority sisters. I didn’t feel understood, it felt like there were some social rules that no one told me about. And I was surprised, I didn’t know why it didn’t work, because I am always social and likeable, and I work had for friendships and other things (like organizing a party, or the pledging period for the whole sorority), but it felt like on one side they took me for granted, and on the other side like everything was my ‘fault’. I couldn’t do anything ‘right’ because if I did, it was like “yeah but she always fixes these things, no biggie”, and if I didn’t, then I had the feeling I had to apologize for something I didn’t do wrong… Especially the Fi type people I really did not get along with, the Fe types were mostly fine, because they are also naturally trying to meet you in the middle, or on your side, and there was some kind of understanding between us… Anyway, it has been 10 years since my pledging period and I still occasionally talk with my sorority sisters, but I have almost made my peace with the fact that I will NEVER be best friends with any of them, while some of them still hang out every week. I just don’t have the energy to hold myself back every time I see them, because they are not willing to meet me in the middle. Especially since I feel like I have to hold my extravertedness back as well, because introverts seem to think that it’s easier for us to act introverted, then it is for them to act extraverted. I am done putting all that energy into people that I don’t get the same investment back from. However, I am still sad that this personality type thing is not common knowledge… I did give them a small workshop on a career day about the MeyerBriggs/CarlJung types, and I felt that they understood it a lot better that day. But the wounds that they created, both unconsciously and consciously over the years, I really can’t overcome. I wanted to thank you for this podcast, because I think I finally have the confirmation that I am NOT a ‘broken’ woman because of my NT. I did not fail in being a woman, I am not secretly a man, I’m just myself.

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