Podcast – Episode 0254 – Challenging Your Inner Narratives

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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk with their friend Dan (a former guest on episode 38 & 196) about his current personal development work and challenging his inner narratives.

 

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Showing 5 comments
  • David Thomas Natko
    Reply

    I’m an INFP and it was super inspiring to listen to another INFP talk about his life and the self-talk that comes up for him when dealing with adversity. Thanks Dan for sharing and also thanks to Joel and Antonia for putting out yet another powerful podcast.

    I especially resonate with the concept of how living your message and being on mission will create opportunities for you, but you have to do the hard work before the opportunities present themselves. I also really liked Dan’s rule of always saying “yes” while on the trail. It sounds like a great way to develop the Ne copilot and I’m going to have to try integrating that in my own life. I’ve picked up a lot of tips for developing Ne as an auxiliary from some of the other podcasts as well but sometimes it’s hard to find the self-discipline to put them in the action. My tendency is always to retreat to my comfort zone.

    I think I would be more motivated to do this hard work if I had someone to talk to who was going through a similar process – for example another INxP or an ENFP (since their copilot would be my driver and vice-versa). I envision a kind of “accountability partner” who I could speak MBTI terminology with and share stories, strategies, and advice around developing the copilot. The idea of finding someone like that is pretty daunting however, as I struggle meeting other intuitives, let alone people who are into MBTI. So I thought I would go out on a limb here and ask anyone who might be reading this if you would be interested. You wouldn’t necessarily have to be one of the types I listed above, as long as you want to develop your copilot and think you would also benefit from having someone you could Skype with a few times a month or so to discuss these topics. I don’t usually put myself out there like this online, but I feel like this could really help me move to the next level. So if you are interested, feel free to send me an email, tell me a little about yourself and we can go from there.

    dnatko(at)gmail.com

  • V
    Reply

    As an INFP, I loved this podcast for multiple reasons:

    -I’m fairly introverted and am inclined to keep to myself. In all honesty, when I interact with others, I’m oftentimes surprised by how not-bad of an experience it is. At work, I have noticed that I feel a little better if I get up and talk to people (even as a part of my job).
    This in turn was brought up during a discussion with an ENTJ friend about what we want from the rest of our lives. We both agreed that we somehow need to be involved with or do things for people in order to feel fulfilled (even though I’m not exactly sure how I am going to go about that).

    -I find Dan’s path totally inspiring. I definitely don’t have the outdoor skills to do something of a similar vein, but I love the idea that he finds a way to pursue his passion. Antonia mentioned that this isn’t just a ‘vacation’ – Dan has to work to earn his time off from the more conventional world. This is an example I wish I had more bravery to follow. My immediate family members are all SJs, and they instilled in me a need and consideration of ‘security’, which I still seek even though I’m well-off financially (at least more so than most people in their 20s, I think). I’ve never really been in a strong position of need, especially when it comes to money. I’m thankful that my parents were able to provide a stable lifestyle for me while growing up, but I also feel like I’ve been playing life on ‘Easy’ mode. There are certainly self-imposed challenges that I can create and overcome to keep myself occupied (I mean this in a positive way, not via self-sabotage), but I feel that these don’t compare to actually living where some certainties which I am accustomed to aren’t guaranteed.

    -Also regarding Dan’s path, it reminds me of I have found myself thinking of Into the Wild/Christopher McCandless recently and how attractive it sounds to get away (wanderlust?). Actually, even without getting that extreme, I think it would be fun to try a job that allows me to get out into the world/nature. Despite being an avid gamer in my younger days, sitting at a computer for most of the day is totally draining.

    -Thanks Antonia for the aside regarding the INFP comments on Nii’s podcast. 😛 I feel validated.

  • Maureen
    Reply

    I find I’m a little afraid to create my own narratives. I think many people don’t believe they have the power to shape their reality; I almost feel like I have too much. In my life I’m surrounded by people who have shaped “positive” narratives that are actually incredibly damaging, because those narratives are selfish in nature and don’t reflect reality at all. To be clear, I’m talking about narcissists. I’m in no way implying that choosing good narratives for yourself is inherently narcissistic. But I do tend to talk myself out of good stories out of a fear that I’m using them to avoid a negative reality that should actually be addressed.

    • Lorelee
      Reply

      Yes, there have been numerous messages that have come to me recently about the importance of expressing grief not just limited to the death of someone but grief over disappointments. When people rush to find a more “positive” narrative, it could be pushing down an important expression. There is this notion of “the holding” where people learn to hold the difficulty (to quote Oriah Mountain Dreamer in The Invitation,) “without trying to hide it, or fade it or fix it”. I think there can be real cruelty when someone is experiencing a difficulty, to be told, “quit acting like a victim”. Just trying to choose a positive narrative to make others feel more comfortable is not authentic and i do see that happen a lot. Human experience is too complex – one strategy does not fit every circumstance. Sometimes best to choose another narrative, sometimes best to hold ourselves in our pain.

  • Myra L Shelley
    Reply

    Thanks to Dan for an uplifting hour that I’m really glad I spent listening to his story. And realizing that his narrative of an incredible low turning into opportunity couldn’t really be improved upon, I just wanted to offer one thing to consider in the future. When he said, “Nobody cares,” my mind immediately said, “Nature cares,” which surprised me a bit. As I’ve thought about it, I realized that I was treating “nature” as a silent third party or presence in this narrative. As conscious beings (and the consciousness of nature is perhaps another discussion), when we interact with anything, I believe that interaction is reflected in some energetic manner because energy can’t be destroyed. So I believe that Dan’s appreciation for, and love of, nature is acknowledged by the very nature he’s appreciating and then being sent back to him.

    And I also appreciated Joel’s “aside” about calling “god” something else, like “universe.” We all believe what we’re given until or unless we don’t, but what we often forget is that we still believe something, so our beliefs are always evolving, or at least that’s the way I like to experience belief. I always giggle internally when I run across people fighting the beliefs of others unless it ends in tragedy, which it admittedly can. So thanks for clarifying that. I have wondered many times while listening to your podcasts what you meant by “universe” when you say something like, “The universe brought you … xyz,” and it’s a conversation I’d like to engage in further. Perhaps a podcast about that?

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