Download Episode Hereright click link and select “Save Link As…”

In this episode, Joel and Antonia dive deep into the unique challenges, needs, and desires of the INTJ personality type.

In this podcast on the INTJ personality type you’ll find:


INTJ Survey

Cassandra – Greek Mythology – Gift of Prophecy without believers.

Ability to see what’s coming down the line, but nobody cares.

Foresight is different from prophecy.

Prophecy knows what’s coming up. Foresight can predict based on observation.

Strategy: Where’s the puck going?

Cynicism comes along with an INTJ recognizing that the world doesn’t value their gifts.

Isolation, loneliness, misunderstood, separation.

Mastermind Article“Smartest people in the room based upon analytical and linguistic intelligence.”

We as a society have decided different criteria for intelligence. Not necessarily right. There are multiple styles of intelligence. Other types outclass INTJs regarding different kinds of intelligence (i.e. kinesthetic, emotional, etc.)

INTJs are very careful thinkers. They spend a lot of time thinking about whatever has captured their interest. Because they’re careful about how they think, they are also very careful about how they articulate their thoughts. They will show up as smarter because they express their words more precisely. They encourage everyone else to be more careful with how we think.

They expend Energetic credits in thinking through things, which is why INTJs have such an Economy of motion.

Many INTJs think the vast majority of people are careless thinkers.

Cognitive Functions

Car Model

The driver process for INTJs is Introverted Intuition that we nicknamed “Perspectives.”

Driver – Ni

Perspectives is the ability to watch your mind form patterns over a long time.

Podcast Introverted Intuition vs Extraverted Intuition

INTJs are inside their mind all the time.

They have a sixth sense of what is coming down the pike.

Perspectives is not right 100% of the time. It is a skill that must be developed. Predictions become more accurate the more you develop the skill.

INTJs love conceptualizing what is happening next.

People who use Perspectives think about the box. It’s about meaning and meta perspectiving.

Perspective users start to realize the subjective nature of how people see the world.

The copilot process for INTJs is Extraverted Thinking that we nicknamed “Effectiveness.”

Effectiveness asks “what works?” What is the bottom line? What will accomplish the objective?

Effectiveness is linear. A step by step approach to how to get things done.

Metrics. How do we measure whether something is pass-fail?

Effectiveness Can appear cold hearted because of its way of navigating around feelings to get a project accomplished.

Break things down to component levels. Uses Humans as resources. Effectiveness is Best when emotions aren’t clouding it.

Ni + Te = Perspectives loves to predict. Effectiveness is about metrics and implementing strategies. Coupled together, these create sustainable systems.

INTJs systems are context dependent. They want to make sure no one comes along and breaks their systems.

The 10-year-old process is Introverted Feeling that we have nicknamed Authenticity.

Tertiary – Fi

Authenticity is a decision-making process that checks in with inner alignment.

How are things impacting you emotionally?

Done well it can replicate someone else’s emotions and mirror those feelings back

As a 10-year-old it isn’t a strength. It becomes solely about how things are impacting the INTJ.

It makes the average INTJ feel like a sitting duck; A childlike part of them that can be hurt.

It’s not just a recognition about how things impact you, but it’s an internalization which becomes more crippling.

INTJs struggle because they have a tendency to over rely on this process.

Driver process is Introverted – Copilot is extraverted: we need to have access to both worlds. Introverts need real world feedback to stay balanced.

Ten year old is introverted. Introverts can find themselves avoiding the outer world and staying within. So they rest on that Ni – Fi loop.

If you get inside somebody else’s perspective, then mirror their emotions it becomes overwhelming to a Thinker. So they shut themselves off and create massive distance from the world.

Why INTJs feel so lonely. Human relationships require a measure of vulnerability.

The solution is that INTJs need to become vulnerable. They will survive. They are resilient.

Pain may seem neverending, but it does fade. People can massively add to the quality of your life.

To get to vulnerability, INTJs need to use their Copilot first. Create systems and frameworks of connecting with others.

Create a social event you can feel some control over. As the host, you are the highest status person in the room, and you know everyone.

When INTJs feel out of control, they clamp down.

When Effectiveness feels good in general, it is more open to experiencing closer relationships.

If INTJs aren’t implementing enough effectiveness strategies, they’re going to feel vulnerable and out of control.

Get out of comfort zone and get into action.

Swap the feeling of vulnerability with empowerment. Empowerment comes from building things in outside world and knowing you got the world handled. Then the vulnerability fades.

Even when Authenticity is used well, and it is healthy it is very idealistic. It’s not so much about reality but conviction. This is how things should be making me feel.

Perfectionism is a running theme for INTJs because it is an idealism of the way things should be.

Idealism gets turned in on INTJ themselves, which is crippling.

The opposite is Effectiveness which is pass/fail criteria. Good is better than perfect.

Authenticity is about “does it feel good to me?” So to INTJs nothing is ever good enough. They are waiting for just the right time. Just that perfect moment to implement the ideal strategy.

INTJs should never wait for that perfect moment to act. Start acting first.

Let Authenticity serve Effectiveness.

Effectiveness forces you out of your shell. But there are so many problems when INTJs use Fi as their navigator.

The 3-year-old process is Extraverted Sensing we have nicknamed “Sensation.”

Inferior – Se

Real-time kinetic connection with the environment. Blind spot to INTJs. Sensation Usually shows up when they are Overly stressed. Causes them to Overindulge in sensory behavior.

Both back seat passengers are incredibly indulgent for INTJs: Fi is emotional indulgence, and Se is sensory indulgence.

The thing that they have to monitor themselves for is whether or not they are going to an indulgent space. INTJs need to be physically aware of their body’s needs. The body is not just a vehicle for the brain.

There are Neurons in the stomach and heart which means that the brain cells extend into our body.

A good relationship with three-year-old means you’re nourishing your body and not feeding it junk food.

INTJ women feel disconnected from other women and intimidating to men.

Thinker Women and Feeler Men podcast

25% of women are Thinkers.

When you don’t fit the ideal imprint of the average female you are not going to attract the highest percentage of people, but there are people out there that are looking for a bird of paradise just like you.

If you haven’t run into these people yet, it is because you’re not in the right place. Go beyond your comfort zone.

INTJs don’t have a lot of patience for themselves. One of the best ways to make space for others and be more patient with others is by being more patient with yourself.

Stop worrying about how you should be and be willing to fail and learn. Be the person who gets things done as opposed to conceptualizing things.

Push through the challenges. There will be waste, but action is better than non-action.

Feedback from the outside world will make you feel stronger and more empowered.

In this episode, Joel and Antonia dive deep into the unique challenges, needs, and desires of the INTJ personality type. #MBTI #INTJ

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

Subscribe with iTunes
Non iTunes Link
Download The Android App
Subscribe on Soundcloud
Subscribe with Stitcher

If you like the podcast and want to help us out in return, please leave an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes immensely! We would be eternally grateful!

Want to learn more?

Discover Your Personal Genius


We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…


  • Josie
    • Josie
    • April 20, 2018 at 10:16 pm

    Very late to the table, but thanks so much for the thoughtful podcast. I still have much to learn.

    I am 49 and discovered I was an INTJ three years ago. I cried when I read the type-description as so many painful and confusing past experiences suddenly made sense and I could look back with some compassion on the young girl, the teenager, the student and young (and not so young) career professional trying so desperately to make sense of her world.

    Herewith some of my musings and some questions:
    1. Regarding the isolation experienced by INTJ’s: I suspect that I have become so used to it and so grateful for the loving people in my life, that I don’t endulge thinking about it too much due to the emotional rabit holes I can fall into if I do. However, listening to the podcast I realised how deep the isolation runs. You mention the importance of being willing to be vulnerable in order to experience the joy of deeper connections. I believe (unless this is a blind spot for me) that I am really “stepping out” in this area. I am willing to help others “peel back the layers” but I’m just not so sure people are that interested to get beyond the surface. I cannot recall ever being annoyed with having to explain why I think what I think (its my WORLD, after all!), but its hard to do when all you get is a puzzled look and a not-so-subtle change of topic.
    Considering the amount of time I spend thinking (and probably the topics I think about), being able to share my thoughts with someone is akin to sharing ME with them. If I am not able to do that (because I sense it is just way too intense for just about everyone I know), leaves me sharing only the bits that people seem able to handle and that is pretty much the “surface ME”. I want “all of me” to be able to “show up” and connect. Connection on the (for me) superficial level, does very little to break the deep sense of isolation and loneliness.
    2. A question: I often feel quite overwhelmed by the sheer volume of connections and insights – I hardly manage to “capture” them (lets say, by at least writing them down), let alone, choosing which of the many to act on with Te. All seem to shout for attention, wanting to be “manifested” in the real world but which ones and where to start? This gives me a great sense of loss and frustration.
    I was just wondering if this is a common experience of INTJ’s? (A note on the writing down / capturing of ideas: usually the thought processes that lead to that moment of insight have come over such a long time and the insight itself seems so fragile and tentative that a mere short note would probably not suffice to bring the whole beauty and elegance of the thing back to remembrance at a later time. )
    3. I have received feedback (from another personality type assessment) that I “intellectualise” my emotions, e.g. “does it make sense to feel this way?”, in stead of experiencing them. I would imagine this is not uncommon for INTJ’s. How does this tie in with the car model?

    Thanks again

  • tally bah
    • tally bah
    • March 29, 2018 at 9:36 am

    I think we need to better define how introverted intuition (“Ni”) works. It’s subjective to everyone so it will be experienced a little bit differently. When you guys describe Ni as pattern recognition or foresight, you’re talking a lot from the outer world perspective (i.e., how Ni appears to other people) but the NJ:s may not experience Ni this way. I.e., its hard for me to relate to an outer world manifestation of how my inner process works.

    To me, subjectively, Ni is like a kind of meditation. Not necessarily meditation in the traditional sense of the word, but getting into a meditative state where your thoughts just drift away. ‘Dreamy’ is a good way of putting it. Drifting off to an alternate state of consciousness where I don’t really feel my senses and perceiving all sorts of things. Images. Theories. Future scenarios. Visions. Truths. Etc. Carl Jung used the ‘inner images’ description which also is very close to how I experience the Ni state. Too much of the description of Ni is focused on ‘possibilities’ and ‘future orientation’. Yes, Ni can sometimes plot in my head a reasonable trajectory of how a thing could develop, but it doesn’t have to be related to time like that. It would be very stressful for INTJs or INFJs to constantly be expected to plot a trajectory into the future of how something will develop. It depends on how well you know the problem, why Ni is a function of knowledge – the more you know the more future trajectories Ni will paint in your head. Ni is not purely a function that is f(time), but can also be a purely abstract function. A holistic way of thinking. Something that search for the truth, or ‘whats really going on in a situation’. Moreover, Ni can be significantly much more mystical and psychic than that. It can be visionary, i.e., clearly perceiving a desired future state, i.e., how I ‘want’ things to be. Completely irrational, no reason to logically believe in the vision, but it exists. And I believe so much in this vision, because it’s subjectively real to me, that I start pushing hard to make it happen so it actually becomes real.

    Carl Jung described Ni as a process that is unconscious where we just see the end result.

    Some thoughts
    //TB [intj]

  • Greta
    • Greta
    • March 26, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    Read “Eastern Body, Western Mind”. And good luck.

  • Malia True
    • Malia True
    • March 5, 2018 at 10:38 pm

    Thank you! As a 69 year old female INTJ I already had the front seats figured out. I personally call it, seeing the big picture. But you helped me so much by introducing me to my 10 and 3 year old selves. I knew they were there and sabotaging me, but now I know that I’m the adult in the driver’s seat and need to take charge. I procrastinate and really needed to hear, " Done is better than perfect". I’m also in the first stage of heart failure and really need to grab that 3 year old by the collar to do what I need to do to reverse something the 3 year old has probably caused in the first place. Aloha from Hawaii!!!

  • René
    • René
    • January 24, 2018 at 8:09 pm

    wow. spot on. always felt strange and ackward. recently I started to think I had an attention disorder. now you guys made me realize that I have a different way of thinking and mentally thriving. until now I have tried to copy ‘normal’ way of living and fallen into all the pitfalls you mention. This podcast make so much sense to me. Thank you very much. INTJ male 43

Leave a comment

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.