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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the unique social challenges facing NT women personality types (INTJ – INTP – ENTP – ENTJ).
In this podcast you’ll find:
- The common thread between the INTJ, INTP, ENTP and ENTJ female types.
- Your double hit of being Intuitive and a Thinker as a woman.
- What are common challenges NT women deal with?
- Why are their challenges not talked about much?
- Why you are under-represented as an NT woman.
- What do you do when you don’t show up according to societal expectations?
- The overtime NT women put in trying to meet others where they are at.
- Why do NT women keep facing exhaustion and social failure?
- How much energy do you use trying to be more feminine?
- How being told “you’re the problem” affects NT women.
- Why is sisterhood so valued by you, yet often elusive?
- The blending mask that NT women wear.
- What happens when that mask comes off?
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The damaging strategy cycles NT women go through.
- The ENTP woman’s strategies to alleviate offense.
- Why an ENTJ woman diminishes her strong energy.
- The ego hits INTJ and INTP women take from fitting in.
- Why you feel so alone in your female NT challenges.
- How you feel unstoppable inside yet self-diminish socially.
- Why the NT woman’s cure is worse than the disease.
- Overidentifying with your wiring and the drama triangle.
- How do you navigate through your wounds?
- Becoming a bridge through your masculine and feminine energy.
- How you come off in your emotional and thought labor.
- How can camaraderie help you?
- Ways you can grow as an NT woman.
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Podcast - Episode 0354 - Social Challenges NT Women Face - Part 2 (INTJ - INTP - ENTP - ENTJ)
42 comments
Thanks Antonia, I appreciate the reply. This makes a lot of sense for me. To be honest, even though I’m much more into the MBTI than enneagram, and I get the way we can use our stacking functions to make improvements, whenever I get to the core of my biggest issues in life, I identify more with the enneagram description and the constant need to be vigilant about potential problems. That I’m sure about…I’m a 6…ugh! (On a different note, have you done a deeper dive into people’s 8th function. I hate most that I don’t have extroverted sensing b/c I live among so many extroverted sensors (I live in a sensate culture) and their energy for the real world drains me. I need my sensory to be calm and contemplative—hiking or walking—not hitting the pavement hard, fast, and long!:))
We’ll talk a bit about being an NT mom in the next podcast. :)
A
This podcast is going to be life-changing for me, and I am 55. (ENTJ). I am still gathering my thoughts in an attempt to respond in such an eloquent way as you have described my life. . .
But the most important thought I have – surprise surprise – is one that might be controversial :)
and that is, that as I have tried to navigate the lonely waters of having no female friends, I have never once seen them as “the insiders” and me as “the outsider”. The way I have always seen it is that is is a sad way to live, not wanting to discuss and debate controversial topics. So I always saw them as the “Losers” (I don’t mean that personally). Yes, I know that’s what you mean by us not wanting to sound snobby, but I have never ever once, wanted to be like them. So if that makes me a snob, then I am one. – - – Of course, a lonely one. . . . yes.
Thanks a lot for this podcast. I identify as an NT and just yesterday had the “pleasure” to crash a feeler’s party on a workshop by sharing authentically my feelings (took me some effort) and thought process (easy). Several others felt triggered and responded not to my conclusions but to some minor element of my analysis (obviously carelessly expressed by me).
It took me a moment to realize that the discussion went out of control (and therefore leaving the imho really important points) because of me inadvertently triggering the others. When I later tried to explain my analysis of the situation and group dynamics I was not able to make myself clear since — I believe — the others still listened on their “relationship ears”.
Another topic came up when the group’s teacher told me he had the feeling that I was competing for leadership with him. This is something I heard several times in my life already and am very careful about it. Obviously I come across as domineering and leadership-seeking at times and I am always puzzled about it since I know how “un-domineering” I am (feeling pretty soft on the inside).
I only jump into leadership roles when I feel a leadership vacuum and want to get stuff done and don’t waste time and resources. And there was a moment yesterday where I definitely perceived such a vacuum…
Anyway, thanks a lot for the podcast, I felt understood.
Wow, this was a fascinating conversation and as an entp myself, I feel so seen. I think about this a lot, and while the obvious connection might be to explore how NT defies traditional patriarchal gender roles applied to women by men (especially in romantic relationships), I find that the greatest challenge is often the pressure applied by women to each other.
I struggle with female relationships because I feel obligated to over-emote all the time. Most women view it as a way to connect, and nonconformity is often seen as a threat. Over time it’s absolutely draining and exhausting, particularly in relationships with SFs. My lack of interest in “sensory” things is interpreted as a lack of interest in life itself. It’s not only draining but a little sad to have your very existence misunderstood or looked down upon.
Another thing I find interesting is how this relates to motherhood and what a “good mother” or someone with “motherhood instincts” is expected to be like, but that’s a whole other rabbit hole…