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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk with Jenn Granneman of IntrovertDear.com about introvert problems and some of the unique struggles they face.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- We live in the most over-communicated time period in history.
- There are challenges introverts face.
- Introverts are unready for conversations because they need to gather their thoughts first.
- Introverts need to get alone time and recharge after socializing for too long.
- Introvert, Dear – is a community and blog for introverts and highly sensitive people.
- What’s the science behind why introverts feel challenges? What are the challenges introverts are experiencing and what’s the science behind those challenges?
- Word retrieval. Happens when you’re looking for just the right word to communicate your thoughts. Introverts tend to use long-term memory and (using a longer pathway to their brain than extroverts do). Extroverts rely more on working memory (short-term memory).
- Give yourself permission to collect your thoughts, relax and try to make yourself feel as comfortable as you can (even let you mind wander in the moment).
- In general, Introverts don’t feel understood by the people around them. There’s a real need for introverts to be understood.
- A lot of Introverts carry an emotional baggage.
- Alone time for introverts – how helpful and necessary is alone time for introverts? Alone time gives introverts the energy to face the outside again.
- Getting enough extraverted time – Have a good balance of alone time and extraverted time, making sure that you don’t shut yourself away from the outside world.
- Take ownership of your needs. Set proper expectations with the people who you know.
- It may be challenging especially if there are a lot of people who rely on your presence but remember that before you can help other, you need to help yourself first and attend to your needs.
- All introverts need something slightly different. The more resistance you get from the outside world, the more you need to fight for your right to do that.
- Checkout out Introvert, Dear’s Facebook group and website.
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32 comments
Further to this, I’ll do my best to imagine how I may be making the extroverts uncomfortable! What it must be like to be on a pleasant afternoon hike with a group of friends, chatting and laughing and enjoying the clean air, when all of a sudden everyone’s put on edge when they round a corner to see a thirtysomething bearded weirdo talking to himself and staring off into the trees. “Is he a vagrant?” “Is he mentally stable?” “I wish there were family-only parks…”
This is silly and (mostly) unlikely, obviously, but the possibility that I could be ruining their experience works pretty well to defuse any animosity.
Ah! I’ve known it’s an introvert thing to not like the phone so much, but I never would’ve thought about the lack of nonverbal cues short-circuiting an INFJ or ISFJ’s Fe. Interesting!
Thanks for this interesting interview. If anyone is interested in understanding this topic further, I highly recommend Susan Cain’s “Quiet” and her TED Talk.
Anthony, I would definitely call that Introverted Feeling. You are gauging your own internal reaction as you go along. I practice Extraverted Feeling and I completely engage with my audience. I gauge my words based upon their subconscious cues. This is why I hate talking on the phone.
Thanks for the comment Randy! I love your term “Flash-frustration.” I’m married to an INTJ and I have seen him do this when people try and get him to engage when he has no interest in engaging. Or they ask probing questions he’s not interested in exploring.
I have learned his “I’m Not Listening” face and I just stop talking until he either re-engages or I ask myself if there’s really any need for him to listen to what I’m saying. Sometimes, I can honestly say that I am rambling and there’s no point in my conversation. Strangely enough, after 13 years of marriage I do this completely subjectively, without resentment…most of the time. ;)