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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about developing thinking as an ISTJ, INTJ, ENTP, or ESTP.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Car Model article
- Car Model Podcast
- Why We Resist Developing The Co-Pilot In Our Personality
- INTJs & ISTJs copilot is Extraverted Thinking (Te)
- ENTPs & ESTPs copilot is Introverted Thinking (Ti)
- Driver process is perceiving. Open framed. Learning. Gathering info.
- Copilot is for judging the info and getting into action.
- INTJ/ISTJ
- ISTJs Driver is Introverted Sensing “Memory”
- INTJs Driver is Introverted Intuition “Perspectives”
- Copilot for both types is Extraverted Thinking “Effectiveness”
- ITJs may use Te in a single-minded focused way.
- There may seem to be more ROI with such single-minded focus, but it doesn’t help you learn all the skills that come with Te.
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Gifts Te gives ITJs:
- Set up a streamlined system
- Project mgmt
- Leadership skills
- Delegations skills
- Resource mgmt,
- talent scouting,
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Challenges:
- IJs hate to feel vulnerable
- Te is designed to metricize things in the outside world
- pass/fail metrics
- Thinking = failure points
- Te = failure points in the outer world. Between systems that are running.
- “How hard can I push on this until it breaks?”
- This is helpful in the long run because it allows ITJs to find failure points in all systems, even relationships.
- Tweak the system until it runs beautifully without continuous effort
- Feedback mechanisms Te relies on is a big sticking point for ITJs
- When developing our copilot the challenge is to not use copilot in service of 10 yr old.
- 10 yr old is the same attitude as the driver.
- 10 yr old needs to serve the copilot. Not the other way around.
- ITJs 10 yr old is Introverted Feeling Fi
- Fi is very tied to the ego. To how things make you feel.
- Exposing self to feedback may bring feedback that the system failed.
- Failure is painful to Fi.
- ITJ builds worlds where they want to feel good all the time.
- The ideal is that the ITJ become Addicted to metricized feedback. Even the bad feedback.
- Take ideas the ITJ gets from their driver and make them in the outside world to move the needle and get things done, then allow the 10 yr old to tell you when something you are doing is right.
- It isn’t about you. It is about the thing you just built.
- It is easy to allow the 10 yr old to convince you of your failure before you even try because you think you can see how it will fail.
- Don’t allow authenticity to be a failure point before you get started
- Don’t Self-sabotage
- Your assumptions may not be accurate
- Use Fi to provide artistic flair to the things you construct in the outside world.
- ITJs can create synthetic self-esteem and never truly challenge themselves – which means there is self-doubt mixed in with the artificial self-esteem
- Better to build your self-esteem on actual, measurable, tangible results. Then it’s real.
- When you figure out the failure points through real-world action, you can see more sophisticated systems layered on, like people systems.
- You can scale the effectiveness process the more you exercise and master it.
- You can be the leader you want to be
- You can also become more responsive to the challenges of life
- Introverts tend to put things off until they feel ready and/or comfortable
- Effectiveness reminds you to tether yourself to timelines in the real world
- To master the self-leadership of Te, do these exercises:
- (These are extraverted exercises because it is an extraverted function)
- Identify one area of your life you want to improve, like dropping 10 pounds.
- Set a realistic metricized goal with mile markers. Like 1.5 lbs per week.
- Put it into action by getting all the necessary tools. (Jogging shoes, gym membership, calorie counting app, etc. Must be intuitive and easy to use.)
- Find somebody to keep you accountable (trainer, friend, social media post – whatever is the most uncomfortable option)
- Put mile markers in front of you with a chart or an announcement on social media
- Weigh yourself every day and record it – on social media if it will keep you accountable.
- External engagement is absolutely necessary!
- Do things based on the metrics you’re getting rather than on how you’re feeling.
- “I’ve committed to this external marker. I have to stick to it.”
- Don’t deviate to adjust your feelings. Only deviate if you need to adjust your metrics.
- Check in with your feelings after you have succeeded, or failed.
- Get all the metrics in and adjust accordingly.
- Introverted Thinking (Ti) Copilot – ENTP & ESTP
- Ti – Accuracy
- Internal metrics and failure points in your ways of thinking
- Ti needs to be able to call bullshit on their inaccurate thoughts.
- ETPs can tend to weaponize this against others
- The biggest challenge is finding the logical inconsistencies in themselves
- Cognitive dissonance can be painful but being able to recognize it keeps them from living lives of quiet desperation
- “Are the actions I am taking logical? Should I be taking them?”
- Consequences come with actions but behaving in congruence with personal integrity you won’t trap yourself in painful situations.
- Dishonoring your truth = pain and cognitive dissonance
- Acting in alignment with integrity = you make decisions that lead to your happiness
- Ti gives you focus and mastery
- Hyperfocused
- People of this type become the world’s greatest athletes because they are hyperfocused on mastery
- ETPs like connecting with other people and can be tempted to get into trolling behavior
- Putting out a precision idea to get people riled
- Can also be used to attack other people’s flawed thinking
- Get clear with yourself first then add compassion to your truths, so they are easier to accept
- We tend to have our copilot serve our 10-year-old function
- ETPs can be so desperate for connection they may make fun of other people, become people pleasers, or drama creators.
- Ti can do mental aikido by out-arguing everyone else.
- People welcome complete truths
- Partial truths aren’t helpful
- Partial truths are only true part of the time. So they are limited.
- The complete truth is that some things are contradictory
- Complete truths are restful to people
- Remove the partial truths and share the complete truth with kindness by using Extraverted Feeling.
- Lots of comedians use humor to share their truths.
- Exercises for Ti:
- This is an Introverted exercise
- Go into your mind and look for thoughts and beliefs you haven’t been scrutinizing carefully
- Could be religious, political, familial, or thoughts about yourself
- If I look at this thought critically will it survive an honest analysis?
- Ask relevant questions:
- How do I know this to be true?
- Where did I pick this info up?
- What would happen if I stopped believing it?
- What else would I have to look at critically if I let this one go?
- You may not have to change your belief, but you need to get good at surgically looking at these beliefs.
- Then ask why it makes sense to you to hold on to such a thought.
- Is it attached to your ego?
- Or do you think it will damage relationships?
- Write down the results.
- Regardless of how others feel, what is your truth?
- Abandoning someone else’s beliefs isn’t betrayal.
- Redesign your life to be more ergonomic to your type. Most of us have not done this.
- Mastering your copilot will make changes to your life.
- Expose your deficiencies to the outside world and see if you are on the right track.
- These aren’t small changes which is why we avoid addressing them, but the rewards are real.
- Build real competency through your copilot and the self-doubt will go away.
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24 comments
I have LOVED this series on developing your co-pilot… all FOUR of the last episodes! I have listened, rapt and intent, at your descriptions of how to WORK ON these functions. It struck me though that this also describes some of the people in my network with a particular function as a DRIVER, but UNHEALTHY. Is that possible? It’s not a given that what you have as a driver is automatically HEALTHY, right?
Something about your descriptions of the cognitive functions in terms of development/improvement resonated with me in a way it hadn’t before… THANKS!
It was an example, not a directive. If that very specific way of doing something didn’t work for you then you already have test-iterated it for effectiveness. In pass/fail criteria was a ‘fail’ for you. That doesn’t mean all Te users will experience it the same way. The important thing is the principle of how Te works.
A
Hi guys,
Thank you for this podcast. As an INTJ it makes sense to me to break down a goal into achievable tasks and mark your success.
However, I feel let down by the fact that you use weight loss as a goal. I actually fell in the trap of “yeah, it would be nice to lose a few pounds and track my nutrients… for my health”. I ended up with binge eating disorder, totally obsessed with calories and exercise and losing my period. Whereas I do agree that health is a legitimate goal, weight (or body shape) is not the way to measure it. If I learnt something about this experience is that diets are not something I should mess around with. I now have more of a “taking care of myself” approach rather than a “punish and restrict”.
Why not recommend another goal like learning a language? Because we are so much more than just what we look like.
Peace and love <3
Fleur
ENTJ here – and while I enjoyed the episode for my type (developing Ni), I have to applaud you even more for the Te-as-copilot episode. I’ve NEVER heard anyone talk about Te as you have, but it beautifully aligns with what I feel Te is to me:
- Interface people and systems (systems and processes to get results in the world).
- Constantly figuring out failure points (and doing so directly) with self, people, and things.
- …so addicted to feedback [on metrics] that whatever personal hit you may take is inconsequential.
- The idea of “pre-failing,” resonates with my logic. There’s no way I can expect to be good at something in the beginning. To expect otherwise would defy logic. I expect to be bad at THE THING.
- Using the above to NOT create a synthetic self esteem, knowing that I will be bad at things, and that doesn’t reflect my worth as a person.
- Lack of self-doubt because self esteem is not built on failed ventures.
- Leading with how things get built, and making things in the outside world and saying “yeah, that’s how you move the needle.”
- Use Fi to determine if the thing your building is in alignment with your values.
- Focus on feedback about the thing you built, not feedback on your person, so there’s no ego hit.
- “Time as a resource.”
- “An orchestra with resources.”