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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how hard it is to grow your co-pilot and give some tips on how to actually do it.
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19 comments
I would be really interested in one on developing tertiary. This episode makes a lot of sense for sure, and at the same time I am thinking ‘well, what if people have a good co pilot, pretty naturally, or by development, and now it is time to really utilise the tertiary, whilst keeping the polarity intact?’ . I know as we get to midlife and beyond, developing the back of the car/opposites and so on (in Jungian thought) is natural and necessary. There’s more I could say about this, but for now, I just send you both love and gratitude x
I get the feeling that introverts might have an easier go at this. Only because responsibilities are generally tied to the external world. For example, I am an INFJ. So my loop is introverted. In order to fulfill obligations like my job, church responsibilities, etc, I have to engage extroverted function which is the copilot (hopefully not the 3 yr old).
I grew up with the thought that I always had to be right – 10 yr old function Precision. When I came across the expression that I could choose between being right and being happy, I forced myself to make that choice to turn off the dependence on the 10 yr old.
Having only recently found this site and podcast, I’ve only begun developing my copilot. The thing is, I feel like my copilot is what it is because of how I developed as a child. As I harken to the nature of who I was then, I recognize Harmony in myself. It becomes natural to process what can create harmony in my life.
So now, in order to develop my copilot, I simply remind myself to think “what is best for everyone right now (including myself)?” I think it’s working, and it’s not this destructive struggle expressed in the episode. Either that, or I don’t see things properly and I’m actually not making the kind of progress you’re talking about… I suppose that’s a possibility.
Thanks again for the fantastic content.
If you are unhappy/experience anxiety about being too punctual and you’re trying to change it
because the test says you are a feeler (enFp) then maybe you need to open and explore the possibility that you are mistyped. Maybe what you are calling your “10 year old” is in reality your co-pilot. As you know the formula for determining your function stack is controversial. Learning about yourself should, under most therapeutic situations, be an “aha” liberation unless a person has some traumatic hangover.
The biggest piece I am working on with harmony is not to forget that it includes myself. Make sure I’m alright before I tackle other people’s issues. I always enjoyed solving others problems. Stems from mediating my parents fights as a kid. But I put the blame on myself and it drove me for a long time until I burned out. My 10 year old function is a ten year old punk girl that stuck up for me. Facebook sucks. You capitalist fake mark zuckerburg. Ok I’m back. Your an emotional nerd poser Markey. Shes so smart. All the best guys.