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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the binary nature of your inferior (3-year-old) cognitive function.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Each function in the 3-Yr-Old (inferior) position has a black and white, binary type of thinking or viewpoint.
- The lower the function in the car model (stack), the less territory it takes in.
- What does it look like when a function is in the 3-Yr-Old position?
- Co-dependency
- Limiting or overreaching beliefs
- Oversimplification
- How can this come up in relationships?
- We are all responsible for integrating our own 3-Yr-Old function.
- How does each function appear binary in the 3-Yr Old position?
- Memory – Si (ENxPs):
- Black and white with procedures, real memories or nostalgic items.
- Does this have to be exactly the same as the past or should I completely reinvent it?
- Real-life examples from Joel and Antonia.
- Exploration – Ne (ISxJs):
- All the possibilities versus no possibilities – it’s set.
- Either nothing in my life changes or everything changes!
- Polarities: a quick reminder – you can learn more about them in our previous podcast here
- Perspectives – Ni (ESxPs):
- Zero thinking about the future/implications versus obsession.
- It either takes its own perspective – or grabs somebody else’s.
- TV show example (Hoarders)
- Sensation – Se (INxJs):
- Jumping out an airplane versus using the body as just a carrier for the mind.
- Presence versus “not present” – overwhelmed by sensory experience.
- Immediate action or no action at all.
- Example: the INFJ “door slam”.
- Perceiving functions as a 3-Yr-Old (summary):
- No “should” statements attached – focused on timelines and perception of reality only.
- A limited viewpoint of how big or small something is.
- Judging functions as a 3-Yr-Old (summary):
- Decision making – how the world should be set up.
- Extraverted judging functions – assertive about the outside world.
- Introverted judging functions – more about self-judgement.
- Authenticity – Fi (ExTJs):
- Crude oversimplification of emotions.
- Binary experience of feelings.
- Making inner terrain and emotions really simple.
- Intent – doesn’t see nuance.
- Effectiveness – Te (IxFPs):
- Being very productive versus doing nothing.
- Obsessive (fear of letting go and causing chaos).
- Systems – being over-elaborate versus destroying systems.
- Oversimplification – “the system should solve everything”.
- Back to ExTJs – how they can flip a switch to control emotions.
- The dominant function – nuance and expression, knowing the rules; when to follow/break them.
- The inferior function – “Why don’t I know the rules!?” – how this affects our experiences and control of it.
- Harmony – Fe (IxTPs):
- Overdoing it to make/maintain a connection versus divorcing from society/connection.
- Deference to others versus demanding behavior.
- Example: Antonia’s flatmate.
- Accuracy – Ti (ExFJs):
- On/off switch – “truth” versus not “truth”.
- Need to articulate their truth versus never calling anybody out.
- Thinking of themselves and/or others as “smart” or “not smart”.
- How can you use this information as access points for growth?
- Benefits of self-awareness with your 3-Yr-Old function.
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13 comments
My life time struggle has been my short term memory, I have always thought that it is broken, but also my ability to organization every day events in a logical order. In school, college and university and to extent in work, I have always struggled with knowing how much time I need to do a particular task and what I need to do it. Now that I am self employed, I kind of know how long things take if I have done it before, but I also have anxiety I do not have enough time or resources and over prepare, or under prepare, I have tins in my kitchen past their expiry date, but I allways run out of milk at the worst moment. I am getting my rocks of on doing an online pub quiz has been fun, I love picking up facts about random countries I have visited and sharing them with everyone even if they are not interested, I get obsessed sometimes, I must know the flags of all the countries for example. The there is my body, I go to being full of energy, then an energy crash, on or off. Like I’m not great at thinking about what I need to bring with me on a day out, enough water, or so much I will knill myself carrying it up a volcanoe (true story) aah. Allways something I forget, I am, getting better at these thing as I get older, letting my body tell me what I need. So that I believe is SI.
Thanks for this episode! I’m an INFP, 37 years old. Right now I’m navigating a career transition. Definitely having to get jiggy with my baby Te in order to accomplish my goals. It is a slow go. It’s hard to get into it, but once I clear out distractions and I can focus, it’s been a big relief. Almost wondering why I haven’t been doing this all along. …But then realize it’s a blind spot. 37 years of personal development has just been laying the foundation to learn how to get better at things I suck at.
Interesting episode! it’s fun seeing the simplified version of what our 3 yo functions can effect each types. This will definitely be useful to anticipate differences in people’s way of thinking and to type others.
“What do you mean by there are only 2 emotions??” lol! As infp it’s also interesting to see the binary version of our Fi. I laughed when it comes to IFP’s Te. It’s very true, i’m either being productive and want things to complete and finish as soon as possible (eg. mom asked me to clean the clutter on her desk so i hard-cleaned the whole room), or do nothing at all (i do this much more often). Also about the tendency to either do things all spontaneously or create an all-purpose system at once. I’ve posted an example about me oversystematizing in episode 0308 and i’ll post it again. For example, i have an elaborated personal excel file about all the comic books that i’ve read. This also applies to other trivial things such as eating food. I once ate waffles with bacon, pineapple, tomato and I literally counted the waffle holes and cut the side dishes in accordance to the number of waffle holes. I’ve eaten a japanese fried noodle and since i want to get equal amounts of toppings in each of my last bites, i separate each toppings even though the chef has mixed it deliciously. Frankly, i won’t do the waffles again but may do the noodles depending on my mood.