Podcast – Episode 0388 – Integrating The Weak Side Of Your Cognitive Functions – Part 2

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In this episode, Joel and Antonia finalize a two-part series about integrating your cognitive functions. In this episode they cover the judging functions and how to integrate the weak side of each in your personality.

 

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • What does it mean to integrate the weaker side of a cognitive function polarity? A recap from our last podcast where we introduced this concept.
  • Check out our article on the Car Model to learn about your functions and their polarity opposites.
  • How to integrate your weaker judging functions – and the difference in how they show up when they are integrated and unintegrated:
    • Remember – there will always be some insecurity surrounding your weaker functions, even if you’ve developed some skill there.
  • xxFJs – integrating Accuracy (Ti) to support Harmony (Fe):
    • What are the signs an xxFJ might be overcompensating for insecurities about their intelligence? 
    • How does healthy integration of Ti actually help you get needs met?
    • Using Ti to redefine your relationship with your thoughts
    • Moving from a place of “intellectual insecurity” to “intellectual humility” – and the rewards this brings
  • xxTPs – integrating Harmony (Fe) to support Accuracy (Ti):
    • Looking at the root cause of xxTPs’ tendency to “collect rules” and how this can show up
    • The pitfalls of “value signaling”
    • Antonia’s personal experience with another xxTP
    • Appreciating the value of non-data based information in interactions
  • xxTJs – integrating Authenticity (Fi) to support Effectiveness (Te):
    • What does it mean to truly know yourself at an identity level? Looking beyond your personal values and set identity
    • The “role-person merger” phenomenon
    • Why you should check your relationship to personality type models as an xxTJ
    • Exploring your identity to overcome “inner demons” – and what can happen if you avoid doing this
  • xxFPs – integrating Effectiveness (Te) to support Authenticity (Fi):
    • What does it look like when an xxFP exploits their Te?
    • Value transfer – the xxFPs blindspot
    • The importance of integrating Te to gain skill development
    • Using Te to gain a healthy sense of control in your life
  • How one-sidedness can show up differently when the weaker side of the polarity is in the 10 Year Old versus the 3-Year-Old position

 

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Showing 14 comments
  • Vani
    Reply

    Ah! This is where comments can be added! I was just commenting on YouTube till now 😅. New Personality Hacker fan!

  • Lana
    Reply

    I’m an INFP and integrating Te isn’t so much a “People should automatically know my worth” type-of-problem. I understand that ick work and systems are necessary to get from point A to Z sometimes–and worth it in the end when something is important. And I don’t resent hard things that make sense to me, but things that I just cant find the silver lining of what I’m learning (example: taking a language or art course in college when I’m going into counseling. For fun, sure. But paying so much money, I want the most effective way to get to where I’m going).

    My main problem with Te is that I have no energy for it. It takes too much from me. It leads to burn-out, health issues, and a lot mental health issues. And I forget the purpose, the Fi reason why I started in the first place. I become more focused on the end goal of graduating or getting this or that. I have trouble keeping schedules, am constantly trying new systems but nothing sticks. It feels chaotic. I know where I want to go, but I have quit and think about quitting often…until I remember WHY I’m doing it then the cycle starts over again. So…what does an XXFP do when they have these realizations, but struggle with a healthy integration of Te when it comes to real world application?

    • William (ISFJ)
      Reply

      Hello Lana,

      I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough time with this. I’ll try to give the best advice I can, but I don’t usually use the Fi-Te polarity nor am I a professional, so I may not be the most qualified. I’ll try my best, though 🙂

      I think that there is one important thing to remember, and that is that your inferior or “3-yr-old” process is not one you will have much energy to stay in for a long time. As important as just pushing through and working are, your average IxFP is going to naturally have a much tougher time of it. I believe there shouldn’t be any judgement against that, but strategies are always helpful.

      I have two of these strategies that I hope will be helpful.

      1. Figure out how much work you do on most weeks that you feel burnout, and aim for a weekly goal that requires you to work 2-9 (depending on the severity) hours less than that. Keep on calibrating like this until you hit a point at which you feel like you’re getting as much necessary work as you can get done without regular feelings of burnout and stress. That’s not to say you should avoid a full, stressful work week at all costs, because sometimes life just chucks a boulder at you that you need to break through to be in a better place. What that is to say is that kind of stress shouldn’t be a regular thing that you’re constantly finding yourself coming too week after week, month after month.

      2. Find what motivates you. As an Fi-user, I would imagine that true passion pushes your motivation through the roof at times. But few people can find true passion in more mundane tasks, however necessary. As you’re working through these tougher tasks, try surrounding yourself with things that will remind you of the “why” of your end goal. As an Fe-user, what first comes to my mind is people who support you, although you may easily find that surrounding yourself with something else provides even lower-hanging fruit. I guess it’s just a matter of finding not what “should” motivate you, but what ACTUALLY motivates you the most.

      Of course, you as an individual are way too complex for me to understand what advice is best suited for you, especially merely over a comment system like this. I hope that I was helpful, but please feel no pressure to go, “Yeah, that doesn’t look like it’ll help,” or, “I already tried that, and it sucked.”

      Best of luck with whatever goal it is that you’re trying to accomplish. Hoping you’ll find what you need to keep going strong!

      Sincerely,
      William

  • William (ISFJ)
    Reply

    Hello,

    Great stuff in your podcast! I did have one quick reply to one really tiny little comment that Antonia made. I don’t remember exactly how you said it, but if I remember the idea correctly, you said something about trying not to reply online too much because of the super long replies and conversations people sometimes seem to give you and expect of you. When you said that, my mind instantly went to the unnecessarily long mix-up of a string of comments that I posted under the last episode. I don’t know if that was on your mind at all when you said that, but I did want to give a quick apology for any inconvenience and/or confusion I caused.

    Hope you all have a great week, and as always, I’m looking forward to your next podcast!

    William

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      My comment was absolutely not a reference to you. I love your comments, enjoy reading them, and reply when I can.

      It was in reference to someone on YouTube directly stating that if I don’t engage with them in an online debate then I’ve proven I’m “no ENTP.” And, in the words of an old meme, ain’t nobody got time for that.

      -A-

      • William (ISFJ)
        Reply

        Aw, thank you for the kind words! I really appreciate you taking the time to clear that for me.

        YES lol, I totally remember that meme 😉

        William

  • Margaret Newcombe
    Reply

    Reading what Najah says I am excited to hear your similar story, and to say that “being” not “doing” for me as a Christian, the Martha v Mary relationship to Jesus , is what has set me free. I am still working on relying on the Mary relationship which I think is INFP sensibility to a T and that is often missed in this rushing river of worldliness. Having said that, I agree it is difficult to tame my 3yr old, as I do have to live in this world! My introverted parts are loving lockdown In Australia which is not great for a Christian according to the rules! I learned to read/ play basics of classical guitar music and wow the revelation ! Had no idea about ‘amelioration’ for instrument playing at the age of 70! Didnt even know what it meant till 2 days ago, (had been locked up in a mindset against Ti shadow function,,,,,oh my so sad!) The Myers Briggs book ” Gifts Differing ” and Keirsey Bates ” Please Understand Me” helped me a lot in ’92 long before the internet existed. The Spirit of the True King Jesus Christ is my helper and comforter in this time of grief over my many years of failing to achieve as an artist. I have yet to organize my work to sell , usually give things away or burn them (in the past.) I have now learned to stop before I overwork , so I think that’s an Fi/ Te . dynamic.Ne comes along side and starts another painting and thats ok! I have figured out that I am not able to do the artwork that J types are capable of and I am happy now!

  • Najah
    Reply

    I’m an INFP! I’ve come a long long way–going from darkness and anxiety and feeling completely hopeless to actually being a happy, healthy, mostly functioning human being. However, I still have a really really bad weakness in EFFECTIVENESS…I drive myself crazy because it’s exactly like you said–I’m very busy all the time but I have little rest–I feel like I’m not accomplishing what’s really important to me and I’m constantly behind.

    In your podcast you mentioned that FPs feel like the world should know their worth and they tend to reject things where their worth isn’t reflected. I actually didn’t relate to that. I was the exact opposite. Events in my life led me to believe I had no worth. I couldn’t imagine a future, I couldn’t imagine myself successful. I had to get over that lie, (I’m a Christian and I attribute the radical change in my life to God). But back then I was paralyzed with fear. I stopped making art, I stopped writing, I eventually flunked out of one college. (I attended several in different states with different majors trying to find myself but never got a degree). I sabotaged everything that might have led to something meaningful.

    Today, I’m happily married, I take many risks, I’m way more self-assured. I sing in a few different worship teams a few times a week (unimaginable even 5 years ago). I’ve had public speaking engagements, I’ve started working on art again, and I’m setting up a business for it. And I work at all of this through a swamp of anxiety and self-doubt. I still struggle with sabotaging myself. I chronically procrastinate…it’s a daily war. I’m not sure what the issue is…except I don’t feel like it at the time, or I’m scared of something…and I just sit there and don’t do it. It’s very hard to make deadlines. And my 3-year-old weakness is always stressed, always throwing tantrums. (I had one yesterday because I made a mistake on something that I’m normally fairly good at, and I couldn’t stop crying for like an hour).

    The thing is, sometimes I try to just bear down and get things done regardless of how I’m feeling. But most of the time it seems like that shuts me down. My anxiety gets so high that I just give up for awhile. It’s absolutely ridiculous and I’m so sick of struggling with this. It makes me feel pathetic. But what you said about “amelioration” really spoke to me. I feel immense relief when I do work on things I’m supposed to. I’m figuring out how to motivate myself to do it more consistently. I must be looking at it wrong.

    Any advice is appreciated.

  • Margaret Newcombe
    Reply

    I am typed by myself as INFP but also did a true Type test in 1992 which is when I first heard of Myers Briggs. I had heard of Jung by then and was not impressed. Since my only knowledge of psychology was at age 17 while studying to be an art teacher, my main interest in life was to be a portrait painter but I was forced to go through the process of using Te which caused great stress at that time.I had no realistic understanding at this time Finding out at age 42 that I am INFP ,was a huge boost for me and the beginning of many years of discovery and healing. The podcast of Antonia and Joel are incredibly rich in many ways. As INFP I have struggled in relationships with IFJ/TJ people all my life. This series has helped me to understand what it is that aggravates me about labeling. In the art industry it took over and ruined genuine authenticity of creativity. Portrait painting to me is an old fashioned way of showing the absolute uniqueness of a human being . I get very weary of academic intellectualism which relies on labelling to understand the world and the universe. There is so much more to humanity than a physical Earthbound dependence on a concrete even ethereal universe.

  • Lisa
    Reply

    I found this two-part podcast incredibly helpful. I created a list of how my functions interact with each other in both positive and negative ways; this is specific to me, but I thought I’d share in case it could be helpful to anyone else using the Fi-Te and Ne-Si polarities. A lot of the healthy, integrated expressions of the polarities are still aspirational for me (only experienced in small bursts), but at least it gives me a clear picture of what I’d like to work towards!

    Te in service to Fi:
    • Creating some structure around self-expression (deadlines or other systems of accountability)
    • Tracking progress of value-aligned goals (spreadsheet heaven)
    • Automating whatever mundane life admin I can (autopay etc)
    • The ability to look at my goals and progress towards them totally objectively rather than having every action I take or don’t take MEAN something about me as a person
    • Trying out different tactics for success and not creating meaning out of the tactics that didn’t get me the result I wanted (embracing failure)

    Si in service to Ne:
    • Learning to put unavoidable life admin on autopilot to free up energetic resources (bills, chores, errands, healthy diet, exercise, meditation practice)
    • Learning from past life experiences about what makes me happy and what makes me miserable and using that information to set up a life that works for me
    • Creating a stable foundation from which I can feel more comfortable taking big risks
    • Creating a cozy, aesthetically pleasing home environment to encourage creativity

    Te taking Fi hostage:
    • Berating myself for not being productive “enough”
    • Using guilt/shame to attempt to force myself into action
    • Judging myself based solely on Te values and feeling like a failure when I don’t measure up

    Si taking Ne hostage:
    • Staying safe at home doing comfort zone activities like TV watching and comfort eating ad nauseam
    • Deciding in advance something isn’t worth the effort, thereby curtailing experimentation and novel experiences
    • Being overly protective of my energetic resources, assuming that any outside world experience will be exhausting and draining

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      These are great examples for INFP. Thank you for sharing them. 🙂

      -A-

  • Taylor Clarke
    Reply

    I agree that FJs very often throw around labels as a quick way to manage group dynamics and understand people as a collective–I don’t agree this is inherently an example of not integrating Ti.

    It is if the FJ throws a label out that fits their impression or feelings towards a person but is not actually representative of that persons individual characteristics (like the example you gave of FJs throwing out the term narcissism too much, regardless if that person is, in the clinical sense, someone with NPD.)

    But, what about labels like, MBTI for example? If I am going out in the world catergorizing people by their type, is this necessarily an example of not integrating Ti?

    I suppose it is if I only see a person through a type and not through a whole picture of everything else a person is. If I type them incorrectly on a vague set of data that fits more my feeling about that person and not who that person actually is then, yes.

    But what about if a label does in fact…capture the essence of a person? What if I observe a person’s values and how they move through the world and give them a label, lets say, like Graves level 5?

    Ha, I get triggered as an INFJ when people don’t like my labelling or see labelling as a negative quality, because I do encounter this a lot. I agree it needs to strike a balance; as I get older I can see sometimes I relied too much on a label and not enough on individual factors. Or seeing a person only through that label.

    With that said, I stand firmly behind the importance of understanding our commonalities as human beings and seeing people through that lens of generalizations and labels, such as archetypes. I know you guys do as well since you created this business, and I know you weren’t trying to suggest otherwise.

    I just don’t see labelling as necessarily a sign that someone has not integrated their Ti, that is all. In fact, I think labelling is an FJ superpower. Jung after all was most likely an FJ, using archetypes helps us make more sense of societies and social systems as a whole….the label helps one make more sense of how individuals fit into groups.

    • Lisa
      Reply

      I think the danger lies less in the labeling itself, than in an FJ’s tendency to want to close a loop. So if an FJ labels someone and then stops taking in new information about said person, they’re relying on generalizations and not continually updating their “label” to bring more and more nuance to their understanding of that person as an individual. Even when that label is accurate, it’s never the whole picture. Not to mention the fact that people change over time and labels can become outdated. MBTI is one lens. The Graves Model is one lens. None of these systems can completely capture the essence of a person, they each give one slice. So yes, labels can be incredibly helpful. If they’re held in a dynamic way that is forever open to new information and fine-tuning. That’s the Fi-dom perspective, anyway 🙂

      • Taylor Clarke
        Reply

        I like that, it’s not the label but not updating their generalizations. I’d agree.

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