In this episode of the Personality Hacker podcast, Joel and Antonia talk about the personality fixations that impact INFJ, INTJ, ISFJ, and ISTJ relationships.
- by Personality Hacker
5 Personality Fixations In IxxJ Relationships | Podcast 585
- by Personality Hacker
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8 Personality Fixations In ExxP Relationships | Podcast 584
5 Personality Fixations In IxxP Relationships | Podcast 586
3 comments
Yep- A one-way mirror here…
Ooof. INFJ best fit type, here. I definitely feel called out on this one.
I recognize that I probably don’t open up enough to my wife, and often have difficulty even recognizing what my deeper feelings are.
After listening to this episode, I literally laid awake at night curating what I might say – you know, next time it came up.
I really have some work to do getting out of this fixation. Thanks for shining a light on the problem!
Hey there,
1 – I call this the “trauma pump and dump”, where people feel so safe and unjudged next to to me, that they feel permission to unload years worths of conflict and inner turmoil directly on me, without permission. Although this is a good thing, when used properly, oftentimes it becomes a “I didn’t ask for this, and now I have to deal with your feelings too”. Also, it’s not true that we don’t judge; we absolutely judge the shit out of them in our minds. No exceptions.
2 – doesn’t happen
3 – Not exactly like this, but I do notice as a pattern that has been all thought my life that, once the logistics and the plans are handled, the emotions come knocking in the door; without permission, all of them, all at once. This is like; the battle plan has been made, and there’s absolutely nothing to be done or rehashed, then, now it’s time for the least favorite cousin to show up and question your life choices.
4 – doesn’t happen
5 – Yes, exactly like that. But it’s more of a fact that “I see you struggling and suffering COMPLETELY UNNECESSARILY”, so let us move/avoid/get out of these sticky feelings, and the quickest way to that is to move. To be in motion, have a plan, have steps. Being married to an ENFP, this….is a recurring tension point.