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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFP personality type.
In this podcast on INFP Personality Type you’ll find:
- Why are INFPs misunderstood?
- The cognitive function is a mental process that helps you learn information or make decisions.
- The 4 letter code tells you how your brain is wired. It’s like an entrance on how you learn processes.
- Authenticity – Is a way that you (as an INFP) make your decisions which is more inclined what resonates with you the most as a person.
- INFPs understand emotions on a whole different level.
- Questions to ethics become very intriguing to INFPs. For example: “what determines an ethical or moral action?”
- Authenticity is very in touch with the subjective human experience.
- Authenticity is where we humans find conscience. Because that’s when we ask, “how do we honor people’s individuality?”
- Oftentimes, INFPs become masters of human experience in general.
- The ability to determine that something resonates is a maturity of the Authenticity process. As it matures, it understands that not everything they experience is the same as everyone.
- Do INFPs truly want to be understood?
- Nobody could be 100% understand them apart from themselves.
- INFPs feel being marginalized and dismissed way more than being misunderstood.
- INFPs seek validation.
- We want to acknowledge that they have a specific type of pain based from their personality type.
- Authenticity type should be balanced with Exploration. Exploration (the co-pilot function) is about advanced pattern recognition in the outside world – thinking behind the curtain.
- If you want more description or definition, check out our episode “Introverted Intuition VS Extraverted Intuition”.
- Your superpowers are developed when you learn to master your co-pilot.
- Art is one of the places where INFPs thrive.
- Art is a communication of feeling and INFPs simply flourish in this context. They create art that’s impactful.
- For INFPs, they tend to recall how they felt/reacted in the past.
- They have the ability to mirror emotions. They don’t need to mirror emotions in real time. For example, the can look at an art piece and mirror the emotion to themselves.
- Authenticity people tend to recall how they feel/how they imagined they would feel and then instantly replicating the emotion inside them.
- The emotional language can be transferred in long extensive periods of time.
- In order to be authentic, you need to have a mature and vast understanding of how the world works.
- Intent: The Darker aspect of Authenticity. INFPs tend to try to give a reason that’s combated with logic.
- INFPs tend to defend their intent, because they see a wide array of positive and negative intent. They understand how people can easily go and slip into bad intent.
- Healthy INFPs view everything has positive intent.
- Being able to understand that darkness is universal and part of the human experience will help you accept yourself.
- How to go about making a living as an INFP?
- Getting something done can sometimes be very challenging for INFPs.
- INFPs have the desire to make an impact and be an inspirational leader. Oftentimes, they will disregard the passion they have. Passion is extremely important.
- Authenticity people can have the tendency to marginalize people. Make sure you do what you’re passionate with. Check in with yourself what you really want.
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215 comments
Wow! Thank you for this! As an INFP in my late thirties,I have only recently discovered my ‘personality type’ and it explains a lot! I love your take on it, and the depth of your analysis. I totally agree that it’s not about feeling misunderstand. I’m not sure I want to be understood. You’re right in saying that would mean that my ‘inner world’ would feel infiltrated and that would be a very uncomfortable thing for me.I also agree that validation is more important. Because western society is masculine, logic, extrovert biased (to put it crudely) being a female with authenticity in the driving seat is not seen as advantageous, or particularly valid, I think, and I’m guessing that’s what we (both male and female) feel so acutely, and that’s where the need for validation comes from.
Very interested also in what you have to say about actually getting things done in the real world! What has manifested as procrastination, I think is rooted in a lack of resonance with the task in hand. This,however, as you say,leads to our Achilles heel point of working to put systems and processes in place, etc. and my insight and inner world won’t pay the bills on it’s own will it! However, I have also experienced that when pursuing what does resonate, as you say, the magnetism thing comes into play, and it’s almost as though,if you do show your passion and are unfaltering as you stick to what resonates with you, then the world around you will conspire with you to make things work. Sounds ‘away with the fairies’ I know, but is based on my experience. Early in my career, I remember leaving a job in education, that was logically my best bet, because I couldn’t reconcile my own values with what I saw as the restrictions it placed on me as a worker, and therefore those I was working with. I wrote words to that effect in my resignation letter. I was surprised at the reaction of my manager at the time, who didn’t seem to understand my reasoning! As you describe in your podcast, I had assumed that my subjective experience was the same as everyone else s, It’s just that none of us expressed it often! Anyway, this transpired not to be the case and I moved on to less secure work that felt more aligned with my values. This lead to a string of opportunities and experiences that eventually put me in a ‘driving seat’ position in a workplace where i could create a project that resonated with my values and what I perceive to be the needs of those we work with. It works. And whilst similar organisations have changed and compromised what they do in order to stay financially stable. I won’t compromise the value base and integrity of what we do. We’re known for it, and people contact us to ask us how we do it. I do, however, understand what you say about ‘dying on the treadmill’, I think it might happen to me!
Other points you make that resonate with me are about valuing other workers,checking in with them etc. My default position is to avoid ‘unnecessary’ interactions with others. This is not helpful! So i need to keep a check on this, and am thankfully supported by my ENFP colleague who can always find a way to relate to me and remind me that this is important! I have also found this to be true in other relationships in my life, where, as you describe, I have been accused of being ‘cold’ or ‘heartless’ at times. I can see how I come across this way, it’s interesting that there seems to be (for me) a direct correlation between how much I actually care and how detached or ‘cold’ I can come across to others! By this I mean that the more emotionally affected I am by a situation or another person, the more detached I can appear to them. I’m working on this, and have found that if i can convey a succinct summary of what I’m feeling, this usually helps the other person feel connected with me and like they’ve been understood/heard rather than inexplicably cut off or invalidated.
Finally, I’m really glad that you also talk about the ‘dark side’ of our personality type. It grates on me to be perceived as some kind of laid back, peace loving hippy type, with not a dark thought ever crossing my mind…it’s just not true, and I guess it grates because I feel that within that is an assumption of weakness, lack of identity or gumption to speak out(there’s the feelings or marginalization to talk about!). No, it’s just that this does not seem necessary a lot of the time. When something hits the nerve of my core value system however, it’s a different story! This is why, I guess, when I first took the personality test I wasn’t happy with the result. I re-took several times, trying to get a ‘better’ result because the strength of my convictions and ‘power’ of what I felt was in me didn’t sit comfortably with this picture of a skipping hippy, or description of this almost martyr like personality i saw in front of me! I’m not sure ‘dreamer’ quite hits the nail on the head. I can see where this comes from, but personally find your descriptions much more useful.
So, thank you again for your insight, and (more)‘food for thought’, I found it really helpful.
I really resonate with what you are saying as an artist and INFP.
Check out the book The Artist’s Way. Commit and start with that. Give yourself the gift of the 12 week “course”. It should bring clarity to what direction to take or open the door for unexpected opportunities.
I apologize if this long post reads like a journal entry…I think I’m just hoping for some validation of how I’m feeling:)
I recently posted a status on facebook that read, “Any other INFP’s out there who could talk with me about finding contentment in your profession?” A good friend of mine posted this podcast in the comments. I gave it a listen and it was very helpful. I think that finding happiness in my profession has been a torturous journey. My introversion seems to be at war with my desire to make a difference in the world. I would love to follow my passion and pursue my dream of being a self-employed artist, but I am a married 35 year old with three children, so figuring out how to do this requires a bit more nuance than it may for a 20 something without kids.
I am in my second career now—both of which required various secondary and graduate degrees (the first was clergy…and now the second is art education). In reality, the only places I have found myself in the flow of my passion has been when I have been making art, building/experiencing intensely deep friendships, and digging deep into a creative project of some kind.
At this point I see three potential visions for contentment in my life:
1. One would be to continue making art and pursuing this dream while continuing to “pay the bills” with my very draining teaching gig. My problem with this is that even though I have the voice saying that every part of my inner soul is not aligned in this job (i.e. it isn’t my passion), I find it very difficult to just treat it like a normal job (because of my “make a difference” bent) and I continually get down on myself for not being the “best teacher I can be” even though I come home at night with very little emotional energy left for my wife and kids.
2. I could get a job that isn’t meaningful at all so that I would not be tempted to believe that it was and I could focus on those hobbies that are connected with my passion…ugh another job change.
3. I could set a goal of doing what I love for a living and know that it might take time and a number of years still teaching… or sacrifices for my family, but just be single minded in my pursuit of this vision.
I think it is harder for INFP’s to find readily available careers that fit their passions than other personality types. We don’t all make it as film-makers and writers. Any response or advice would be helpful for this silly tortured soul:)
Thanks for helping me understand why I have been half-assed in ALL my jobs to date. That really resonated with me. Need to find that passion.
Try replacing the word “self punishment” with “atonement” in regards to INFP responses….? Impressive work, once again. Keep it up!