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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about Human Sexuality and Society.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • The one thing that seems to be on most people’s minds most of the time is sex.
  • Frank Underwood in the show “House of Cards” (Netflix) says, “Everything is about sex, except for sex. Sex is about power.”
  • Robert Anton Wilson talks about the Eight Circuit Model. The Fourth Circuit is Socio-Sexual.
  • The First Circuit is the Bio-Survival Circuit – is the world friendly or hostile?
  • The Second Circuit is Anal-Territorial – am I dominate or submissive?
  • The Third Circuit is the Time Binding Circuit – what is my adopted ideology?
  • The Fourth Circuit is Socio-Sexual – what is my sexual preference and what is my identity in society?
  • We control sexual behavior to control people’s minds, and get a specific outcome.
  • “The only rule about sexuality is that there’s going to be rules about sexuality.”
  • What we get imprinted with sexually is almost infinite in variety.
  • We spend the majority of our time pretending that our sexual preference(s) matches whatever our society says is acceptable.
  • About 99% of the population DOES NOT SHARE the sexual imprint our society says is acceptable.
  • Many people who don’t have the ‘acceptable’ sexual imprint will see themselves as perverted, which becomes part of their identity in society.
  • We’re all very interested in what ‘normal’ is. We fear getting ‘booted by the tribe’.
  • Sometimes those who feel they are ‘perverted’ will spend time and effort hiding that by demonizing others who also aren’t ‘normal’.
  • If everyone had to reveal what their sexual preferences are we’d understand that ‘normal’ is actually being ‘not normal’.
  • We are more and more understanding how varied sexual preference are thanks to passing information anonymously on the internet.
  • It’s much more difficult to control how people ‘should’ be thinking.
  • Do we have more variety of sexual preferences since we’re exposed to more things in our culture?
  • Social construction of reality isn’t bad – it’s how we navigate through life with unspoken social contracts that make everyone’s life easier.
  • The mistake is believing that the social construction is absolute, and if we don’t ‘line up’ it makes us ‘bad’. It’s much closer to reality and healthier to think, “These are just the rules of the game I happen to be in right now, and it’s okay if I’m a little different.”
  • If you control someone’s sexuality, you control their mind. That’s why it’s been so important for people in power to control ‘acceptable’ concepts of sexuality.
  • The issue easily comes down controlling reproduction, i.e the abortion debate, whether or not homosexual couples should raise children, how many children a family can have, etc.
  • People go through life unaware of the bigger picture, and we can overvalue the opinions of society.
  • If you don’t think your sexuality is the ‘norm’ – cut yourself some slack.

Exercises we recommend in this podcast:

Spend this week cutting yourself some slack for your preferences!

Things we reference in this podcast:


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Personality Hacker
Personality Hacker teaches you the coding language of your mind and how to use it to create happiness.
Showing 3 comments
  • Kirk tully

    I was excited (pun fully intended) when I saw the title of this podcast. There’s so much good stuff in the podcast but for now my question or thought revolves around this:

    You talked about sexuality being defined by social parameters, and I wonder, if 70% of the population is “sensing” oriented, wouldn’t a “right and wrong” sensibility about sex (and everything else) be normative? You mentioned how helpful it can be, because how else do we know where to start talking about this (or anything else).

    I appreciated the individuality idea and how important it is to remember that we all look at sex differently and have differing desires. Being allowed to consider sex as we choose is terribly important for us “intuitive” types.

    As always, I appreciate the podcast and that you choose to speak to all these ideas and thoughts you have. They are interesting and eye-opening, so thank you.

    • Antonia Dodge

      Hey, Kirk!

      Our imprints may or may not have anything to do with our personality type in the Myers-Briggs system. It’s an imprint that happens when our mind’s ‘circuit’ happens to open up and be vulnerable for imprinting, so if whatever you’re doing/thinking about/engaged in at the time is specific to your personality type, then yes – it could be a factor. And if not, then it’s incidental.

      Sort of a numbers game at that point.

      Having a shared reality is helpful as it enables us to talk in the first place. Language is a part of shared reality, so any and all topics rely on that shared reality. Because of its helpfulness, socially constructed reality isn’t going anywhere. That said, once a person ‘gets’ that reality isn’t some empirical, static truth, but rather a highly plastic organism that changes and morphs over time, it’s much easier to cut oneself some slack if ‘reality’ isn’t aligning with our own inwardly directed identity.

      A ‘right/wrong’ mentality seems to be the norm on almost every topic – you can see this in how people view their country, their religion, their family ideals, as well as sexuality. That ‘my truth versus your truth’ perspective has been around so long it appears to be intrinsically human, but I would argue that it’s actually just a level of development humans have had to go through.

      We’re entering a very interesting time period in history with post-modernism. Post-moderns are far less likely to accept a ‘my truth versus your truth’ take on the world, and are far more open to some relativity there. This perspective seems deeply disturbing to anyone still in ‘my truth versus your truth’ who try to say that this thinking is ‘dangerous’ and ‘ineffectual’. And, yet, it’s direction all developed countries are heading toward. It seems to be the next iteration of our memetic evolution.

      Thanks for the feedback and questions! They’re always appreciated. 🙂


  • Mark

    Wow, great podcast, I am in the process of trying to break imprinting from my past and this helps a lot.
    Thanks guys.

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