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In this episode, Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the ENTJ personality type.
In this podcast on the ENTJ personality type you’ll find:
- It’s tough to get to know the real ENTJ. There are a lot of layers.
- Napoleon was most likely an ENTJ.
- ENTJs are rewarded by society because their kind of leadership is honored by this world.
- Female ENTJs are often not received well because of imposed gender roles.
- ENTJs get the job done.
- They have a lot of perceived confidence. It often appears like nothing rattles them.
- Most of the answers we got on the survey were very short.
- There’s a sense that they can’t slow down.
- If they don’t feel confident they are good at ignoring it. Lack of confidence doesn’t serve them.
- They have a tendency to overvalue templates that work and never question whether they need to be changed.
- The driver process for ENTJs is Extraverted Thinking that we nicknamed “Effectiveness.”
- Effectiveness is fast. It doesn’t question. It just keeps moving.
- What happens when you’re wrong?
- The co-pilot is introverted learning process called Introverted Intuition that we have nicknamed “Perspectives.”
- Perspectives encourages ENTJs to not just assume their observations are accurate. It asks, “Is there a better way?”
- Napoleonic warfare is a good example of Effectiveness doubling down and not adapting to new warfare strategy.
- The 10-year-old process is Extraverted Sensing we have nicknamed “Sensation.”
- If an ENTJ doesn’t slow down and focus on the co-pilot Perspectives, they will synthetically keep themselves limited. Avoiding the big game and not fulfilling their potential.
- When ENTJs have some past wounding there is an instinct to avoid the inner world. They fear the Intuitive Introverted world. They worry about the pain they may find there.
- The 3-year-old process is Introverted Feeling that we have nicknamed Authenticity.
- This is about managing emotions. It asks, “What’s going on for me?”
- There’s a sense of avoidance out of fear of the inner work. The more ENTJs avoid their inner world the less they will reach their full potential.
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59 comments
Thanks for the comment J! It sounds like you are in a painful loop. At the end of your comment you said you would start from Si. I’m not sure if that was a typo, but if you are ENTJ you need to develop your copilot – which is Ni (aka Perspectives). Try this simple exercise: Think of 3 villains in history or in your own world. Ask yourself why they behaved as they did/do. Try to imagine yourself making the same choices based upon their environment and perspective. Do this until compassion emerges for these ‘villains.’
This was very helpful for understanding my ENTJ son, but as an INFJ myself, I already had a good ‘handle’ on him. ;-) But really, I see how he can get ‘jammed up’ by ‘feely’ stuff, and how he’ll react by being snarky or overbearing (in some peoples’ views). That being said, he’s a sensitive, ethical and intuitive young man… as a child he was always very responsible – in his occupation I’ve encouraged him to go into management, which he doesn’t want to do – but I see his integrity and leadership qualities as something that is needed in that situation. He’d rather stay ‘in the trenches’ though.
Hello, I’m an ENTJ female. This podcast resonated with me on many levels and it was interesting to hear them validate my experience as a female specifically. I have had trouble relating to other females my whole life, for instance I tried out for sororities in college 4! times, being rejected each time. They felt like I wasn’t feminine or “sorority” enough for them. I found myself to be most comfortable with male friends, I could relate to them and talk to them. They often would comment about how I wasn’t like other girls (meaning overly dramatic or emotional) and was not coy or passive aggressive. I don’t believe these are inherently female traits, but can be stereotypical ones. Over the years of internal introspection I have learned that others don’t respond to direct answers the way I think they will or should, they take it personally like a direct attack on their person. So, I have learned to use “I” statements more when speaking and starting with “in my opinion” more. I find this helps let them know I’m not attacking them per say. The only time I have a real conflict with another type, is if it’s with some who is overly emotional or dramatic. This is highlighted in my relationship with my 8 year old daughter, who is dramatic like all 8 year old girls, but it triggers me to be super cold and withdraw from her if she is not being logical about something. This is not ideal, obviously, so I’m working on my patience with that and internal self-script, also just recognizing the pattern is helpful to be able to step out from it.
Recently my life took a turn that I was not expecting, I didn’t get the job that I was expecting and it threw me for a loop. I was feeling very out of control and uncomfortable. But this only lasted a few days until I realized I just needed to make a list of things to do so that I could check them off, I felt calm almost instantly having a task list.
The people I am most drawn to are others who are driven and successful, I’m looking to learn from them or emulate them. Anyone who can teach me something new is worth knowing. On the flip side, I’m least attracted to people who are lazy, can’t fulfill obligations, are passive-aggressive, or overly dramatic/emotional. To deal with these people if forced, I try and understand why they do the things they do and “speak their language” if possible, but this usually doesn’t happen until I’ve hurt their feelings at least once or twice without knowing it. I wish people would just say so, then I could adjust my behavior to fit them better. Instead it’s constantly a guessing game as to why they are upset or acting “weird”.
I’m married to a guy who hasn’t been typed, but his style and mine mesh very well because he is so laid back that he lets me drive the relationship for the most part. He has been following my career since our college days and appreciates and applauds my successes. This is great, because if I was with an equally driven person it would be a constant battle and someone would have to compromise their dreams. This also gets in the way sometimes, I’m irritated with his lack of “get up and go” sometimes. Also, if given a task, he sometimes doesn’t do it in the timeline that I had envisioned, so it’s taken many years of practice to say “it’s ok, it doesn’t matter how he does it as long as it gets done.” That is painful for me if he’s doing something the long way. But he also is irritated that while I have vision and ambition to get things started the final details don’t always matter as long as it’s done. A few paint drops or a smeared line don’t matter to me and as long as the room is painted and done—those details bother him a great deal. It’s a give and take and it has taken a long time to realize these things about myself. Hope that helps a little!!!
Antonia, All I’m going to say (other than thanks for this podcast) is that I have, LITERALLY, been driving around all week with my real, factory-made car’s “check engine” light on. Every time I get in the car, I think, “Oh, man, I need to go the mechanic. Okay, well, after my meeting/appointment/luncheon, I’ll go. I have to fulfill my commitment and then I’ll take care of it.” Guess I better put it on my calendar, so I don’t end up on the side of the road. How’s that for a metaphor, huh?
Hahaha, Jordan, I have said, my whole life, “Let’s break this down.” I thought it was understood that was for efficiency’s sake. Now, I have to check with my family to see if they know that’s what I mean/meant.
And, wait…everyone doesn’t think in bullet points? No wonder so many people are disorganized and inefficient.
Thanks for your thoughts!