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In this episode, Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the ENTJ personality type.
In this podcast on the ENTJ personality type you’ll find:
- It’s tough to get to know the real ENTJ. There are a lot of layers.
- Napoleon was most likely an ENTJ.
- ENTJs are rewarded by society because their kind of leadership is honored by this world.
- Female ENTJs are often not received well because of imposed gender roles.
- ENTJs get the job done.
- They have a lot of perceived confidence. It often appears like nothing rattles them.
- Most of the answers we got on the survey were very short.
- There’s a sense that they can’t slow down.
- If they don’t feel confident they are good at ignoring it. Lack of confidence doesn’t serve them.
- They have a tendency to overvalue templates that work and never question whether they need to be changed.
- The driver process for ENTJs is Extraverted Thinking that we nicknamed “Effectiveness.”
- Effectiveness is fast. It doesn’t question. It just keeps moving.
- What happens when you’re wrong?
- The co-pilot is introverted learning process called Introverted Intuition that we have nicknamed “Perspectives.”
- Perspectives encourages ENTJs to not just assume their observations are accurate. It asks, “Is there a better way?”
- Napoleonic warfare is a good example of Effectiveness doubling down and not adapting to new warfare strategy.
- The 10-year-old process is Extraverted Sensing we have nicknamed “Sensation.”
- If an ENTJ doesn’t slow down and focus on the co-pilot Perspectives, they will synthetically keep themselves limited. Avoiding the big game and not fulfilling their potential.
- When ENTJs have some past wounding there is an instinct to avoid the inner world. They fear the Intuitive Introverted world. They worry about the pain they may find there.
- The 3-year-old process is Introverted Feeling that we have nicknamed Authenticity.
- This is about managing emotions. It asks, “What’s going on for me?”
- There’s a sense of avoidance out of fear of the inner work. The more ENTJs avoid their inner world the less they will reach their full potential.
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59 comments
I can’t thank you enough for recording this podcast. I’m not being hyperbolic when I say the knowledge I’ve gained from this podcast has radically improved both my and my father’s life.
I’m an 45 y.o. ENFP daughter with a 71 y.o. ENTJ father. For the past 5 months, I’ve been helping him downsize and sell his home. It’s been a major, 50-hour-per-week project for me that I volunteered to undertake because I wanted to help my father.
Even though we both had good intentions, it took only a week or so for us to start clashing. Eventually, things got so bad that two weeks ago, I was considering quitting the project and taking a 2-3 month break from speaking to my father. But at the last minute, I decided – as a sort of “hail mary” move – to read up on his MBTI type to see if I could better tailor my approach with him.
It was only upon reading about Effectiveness (Te) on your website, that I realized my father was leading with Effectiveness and not Exploration. Years ago, I – who is normally amazingly accurate at typing people – had mistyped him as an ENTP. My entire theoretical framework for understanding his behavior shifted immediately. As I listened to this podcast for the first time, I literally choked up as Antonia spoke about some of the traps ENTJs can fall into if they don’t spend enough time using their Perspectives process. What she said dovetails perfectly with some things I’ve repeatedly told my father during our recent arguments:
• “You are acting like a bull in a china shop. Stop bulldozing me.”
• “You have no clue how what you say and do hurts my feelings.”
• “I have always considered you an ethical person, but you are treating me so poorly, it borders on the unethical. What has happened to you?”
• “It breaks my heart to see you repeatedly shoot yourself in the foot by trying to take control of this project. The whole point was for you to let me manage things so you could relax. You’re acting like some sort of ruthless CEO. Frankly, you’re being a total *sshole.”
• “Why are you are so impatient? You have this sense of urgency that is totally unwarranted and it’s making both of us miserable. In your effort to speed things up you’re making rash decisions that are hurting the project and hurting me. You’re not thinking this through.”
Once I realized he was an ENTJ, all his seemingly whackadoodle behavior started to make sense. So two weeks ago, I sat him down and told him I wanted him to learn about the ENTJ personality type. To my surprise he seemed open to the idea. We’ve been hashing out the basics, but today he is listening to this podcast at this very moment while he is commuting. I’m trying to be low key about things, but I’m very excited to see what he thinks.
I guess I’m posting this comment because I wanted to thank you for doing what you do. Whether my father decides to apply what he learns or not (and I think he will), I have a much better understanding of his thought processes and behavior. I can better attribute his motives and this will make my life so much better.
But most importantly, I wanted to say to any other ENTJs who listen to this podcast, “Make time for self-reflection (Perspectives). This is especially important in your personal relationships. Let my father’s and my story serve as a cautionary tale. I know my father loves me, but he has never been able to understand/appreciate how my Exploration/Authenticity personality can get so “butt-hurt” by the things he says and does. It has hindered both of our lives and made us both unhappy. I know my father is a good man and is not consciously aware of what he has been doing. I feel sure that if he can make the time to focus on his Perspectives co-pilot process, we’ll both be better for it.
Laura, you just described my life. I am 38 right now… wishing you all the best!
If I had eight hours to chop don a tree, I would spend 6 hours sharpening my ax. -Lincoln
Thank Charis. I was wrong. Si is too far to be reached. If I use TeNi properly, I reach a relaxed state that INDIRECTLY takes care of Si as well. When I wrote that comment I had read sth that explained how Si is neglected by ENTJs. (going by template!)
You are right; the key is Ni. I appreciate the villains example. yes I should practice it more often. I also found this Ni-related solution absolutely helpful. You may want to share it with other ENTJs:
We have a thirst for getting the jobs done. We enjoy doing more and stepping forward. Problem: We plan too many tasks for a given period of time because we only consider pure working and we neglect information gathering and learning process (Ni). ==> too many tasks for a given period of time. In the middle of getting the tasks done (Te) we encounter unforeseen KNOWLEDGE-BASED problems; then we ask and google. If we get the solution instantly we are good to go. If not we become crazy; love for learning the solution deeply vs. emergency for getting the tasks done. This starts the anxiety. Which pushes us into a very painful process: distract yourself with Se followed by guilt and assuming we have more problems deep down. Then use Ni to learn about the problems so that you can fully remove them and move on (see, now Te has become agenda/inferior)
The key to our success is (in my view) this: If we assume that we can work only 2-4 hours a day, we become super productive. How? When we plan, when we think about the future, etc. we should allocate only about 10% for Te. 40% for Ni. Why? because 10-15% of ENTJ’s Te is a laser focused drill no one can even imagine how fast it can get the jobs done. 40% only for learning process. And 50% for Life! (Se+Fi).
I have an experience using the method I just described for about 6 months (without knowing anything about MBTI) while I had an ISFP girl friend. Everything was just perfect until I stepped forward for a very big goal and ruined everything without thinking through~! Ni is the key. Always.
Thank you again,
J
Hi Charis, thank you for the kind words. I’ve always tried to support and encourage my ENTJ son’s emotional “woo woo” side, and I’m fairly certain he does accept that part of his life. While he gets irritated with people who he may view as not as smart or evolved as he says he is, he is respectful of others’ beliefs. He’s very loving in his own way, and is super-attentive and helpful to the elders in his family- he’s “stepped in” where he’s seen that they were being neglected or ignored. He definitely has a strong internal “fire” and passion!