Download Episode Here – right click link and select “Save Link As…”
In this podcast Joel and Antonia talk about awareness from the perspectives of different personality types.
————————————————
In this podcast you’ll find:
- What is self awareness? How is it both different from and related to self esteem?
- Why does self awareness matter?
- What issues arise from a lack of self awareness?
- Joel and Antonia share their experiences with self awareness.
- Does social media facilitate self awareness?
- How self awareness relates to personal-growth work.
-
How we move from self awareness to self confidence and self worth.
- How to combine these different concepts of “the self”.
- What does the path to self awareness look like?
-
A word of caution about measuring “the self”.
- How our personality type influences the way we measure ourselves.
- How to stay calibrated.
- An analogy to illustrate the difference between value and worth.
- What makes discussing these concepts of “the self” potentially controversial?
-
What does self confidence look like in the context of this conversation?
- Why do older people often have higher levels of self confidence?
- How to build self confidence.
- What Joel and Antonia would like you to take away from this episode.
To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:
Subscribe with iTunes
Non-iTunes Link
Soundcloud
Stitcher
Google Play
Spotify
Radio Public
PlayerFM
Listen Notes
If you like the podcast and want to help us out in return, please leave an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes immensely! We would be eternally grateful!
Want to learn more?
Discover Your Personal Genius
We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…
Share:
How To Talk To Any Personality Type (with Dr. Dario Nardi) | Podcast 0456
Personality Types & Uncertainty | Podcast 0458
13 comments
A few months ago I went through the Life Path Journal for my type (ENTJ). That experience increased my self awareness. Specifically, as part of the journal – defining my personal values, and separating from values I have taken on from others that are inauthentic to me, continues pay high dividends for me. I am seeing, when you define and articulate your own values it does something nigh unto magical inside of you. Suddenly you are able to make decisions with clarity. You are able to stop doing things that are disingenuous for you. You are able to stand on your own instead of propping yourself up on your perception of others’ opinions of you or on comparing your choices to others’ choices for their lives (which are probably disingenuous for them to a large extent anyway.) You greatly reduce the need to compete (largely in your mind) in order to give yourself value in your own eyes. I am repeatedly being surprised by the effect this is having on me.
I think, until you really know what your values are, you continually live in a state of dissonance with your self and it causes problems all over the place. The way I have been saying it to myself is, “We are ineffective because we don’t know who we are. We are resentful because we let others tell us.” (When I say “we” I of course mean “I.”) When we don’t know who we are, and are trying to live according to others’ values coming from outside ourselves, we are ineffective because we don’t really know what we are doing or why. There is no vision. It results in a herky jerky dance through life trying to understand and respond to what others are thinking/doing. In addition, our hearts are not truly invested in the things we’ve built a life around. There is no energy. When you have vision and energy that are synergistic and are pointing in the same direction you suddenly have a way forward and can go at it apace. I believe a lot of resentment builds when we allow others to define us and “dictate” our view of ourselves/choices even though we are the ones making the choice to let them “dictate” all along; we just don’t know that’s what we are doing. It seems in that case we are continually working at crosswise purposes, even if unconsciously. This results in ineffectiveness and blame, and we lose (read “give away”) our agency which, by definition, makes it so we cannot solve the problem.
I will say, this is not only requiring loads of courage from me, but is giving me courage at the same time. That said, it is a scary transition – to live out of one’s authentic self v.s. doing what will make others happy and approve of you.
It is so great to have mentors and tools that can help increase one’s self awareness and lead one to one’s own true values (among other things) which, apparently, heals and bolsters one from the inside. It is truly amazing to watch the collateral beauty of the “simple” act of defining my own values. “Profound” is not too strong a word. Thank you PH!
Dreams are important. I know it’s difficult to communicate the full weight of how your dream impacted you, but I still appreciate you sharing your experience.
A
When I think of self-awareness, I think of an informal choir experience I had in grad school. There was a song with a solo, and there was a girl determined to sing that solo. She was sure she sounded great, but she did not. Another girl in the group had professional voice training and sounded incredible. But even after tryouts, the first girl—still oozing confidence—was not about to back down.
I remember being amazed at that first girl’s shocking lack of self-awareness. Not only did she not realize she could barely carry a tune, but she also did not pick up on the extreme awkwardness of her demands and claims, the discomfort of those of us watching and listening as things played out, or the talent of the girl who deserved the solo. When someone lacks self-awareness, it can be painful to be around. But the choir director made it worse by not immediately announcing who would sing the solo.
So I think self-awareness has to involve internal metrics and external metrics. When either set of metrics gets skewed—for example, by abuse that keeps a person from feeling internally competent or by undeserved praise that convinces people they are more skilled than they really are—bad things happen. This is the danger of participation trophies and other artificial self-esteem forming experiences that don’t accurately reflect reality.
We need enough internal awareness to hold on to our sense of value if the externals are skewed by a broken family or bad school system or whatever, but we need enough external awareness to recognize the value of others and appropriately assess ourselves and our limits in comparison to a standard that exists outside ourselves. That’s a tricky balance—tricky like balancing the voices in a choir, and just as damaged by a bad voice that slips in where it shouldn’t be.
But going back to the choir story— In an unexpected twist, the choir director gave the solo to his son’s girlfriend—who hadn’t tried out and wasn’t part of the class. ??? What a mess.
I read my comment back and realised their is more information in my head so that comment is very much a tiny fraction of what i want to say i just find it impossible to get it out of my head so it is readable lack of TI and not taking education seriously.
I have been thinking about it after listening to this podcast. All these years never tried to look at my self from an outside perspective I actually had a vivid full of meaning dream for the first time in years. I always considered myself to be nobody else is business. What Joel was saying at the start of the podcast is pretty much my feeling towards self awareness. I think its clear that it is mainly FE or FI Fe being concerned with others Fi not concerned with others when i say not concerned i mean in the view of other people. I would say this though i believe the way i think allows me to be impartial like Dario Nardi was saying trying not to have an agenda do not get me wrong i always put myself in other peoples shoes trying to figure out their motive or direction. I talking about everything with vey little self awareness almost like children. I had no external self awareness has a child. My dream was a massive confirmation that i do not trust people.